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Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

I'm a 32 year old single male, diagnosed with BPD, anxiety and depression at age 13 (I manage my condition with meds and therapy). I am an immigrant in Australia, with no family or friends here to seek advice. I hope the kind people on this forum can offer suggestions.

I am working at a highly toxic workplace for over 2 years now, and my metal health issues have worsened considerably. But it does pay my bills, and that's the reason I am sticking it out in spite of me being a near total wreck.

There are a few reasons stopping me from getting a new job:

  • It is difficult to take time off on weekdays for interviews, since the management gives a really hard time to employees wanting leaves without more than a week's notice (interviewers never wait that long).
  • Whenever I did manage to take time off, I messed up in the interviews due to the level of stress involved in actually getting time off, and the general work stress hampering my performance significantly.
  • My workplace is located in the middle of nowhere, so I can't sneak away to an interview in the CBD (where most interviews take place) during my lunch break.

So it is practically not possible for me to seek new jobs before I quit my current one. But the difficulties I faced in the past (near homelessness, long periods of unemployment etc.) stop me from quitting.

Now I feel I am finally in a position to quit this job and wake up from my nightmare, since I have saved up enough money to live comfortably for 6 to 8 months with no income. Common sense suggests that I should be able to land another job during that time frame. But my confidence has taken a nosedive due to my current job, and I always have this fear of possibly never finding another job. My skills too aren't what they used to be.

Also, I will be going back to university for part-time post graduate studies next year. And my current job will certainly mess up my education. It appears like now is the best time to quit, and start my life and career over from a clean slate.

I have also nearly decided that I will be handing in my resignation tomorrow (I have a 4 week notice period, which I am fine with). But I am afraid of my fear and insecurities preventing me from doing that. And if I don't do it now, I am pretty sure I never will, and just continue slogging it out at this company until I lose my sanity, ruining my career along the way.

Is it really foolish to quit a job without another one lined up (as most people say), even in a situation where the current job is driving you nuts and preventing you from finding another job?

I have no support system at all. My so-called 'friends' just accuse me of being lazy, and using my mental illness as an excuse for my laziness. I have no one to turn to for advice.

76 replies

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In response to: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

We'll done!

Based on the other information in your recent responses I've no doubt you'll go from strength to strength.

In response to: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

@Hope4me

Thanks again!

Sorry, I didn't log in for a few days. I had a nasty fall at home, and injured my shoulder and hip. Until now, it was too hard and painful to even sit up and use the computer. But I am feeling a lo better today, and hence am able to get back online.

I will certainly check out those posts you tagged me in. Thanks for accepting me as part of the community!

In response to: Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Nice to hear from you @aficionado 🙂

I'm so sorry about your fall. Are you able to cope at home ok? Hope so...

You're absolutely accepted as part of our community my friend. Please feel welcome to join in wherever you feel comfortable. I'm sure others will be drawn to your intelligence and warmth just as I've been.

Hope to see you around the forum and recovered from your work experiences soon..

Hope

In response to: Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

@Hope4me

I am doing fine now, thank you! My body is still a bit sore, but I am gradually getting better.

I am already on my way to recover from the trauma due to my job. In fact, I am now polishing up my resume so that I will be able to seek new jobs once I return from my holiday in mid-February!

In response to: Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Hello @aficionado, @Hope4me, @GoatV2-0, @christofff, @TAB

checking in to see how everyone is today

In response to: Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

@Shaz51

Doing much better compared to the day I started this thread. Thanks for asking, and I hope you are doing well too! Cheers!

In response to: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

hi @aficionado,

I hope you are doing well? This advise is probably too late, but this of year is not the best time to look for a new role. If you have a 4 week notice period this will take you through to mid January so the market should have picked up by then.

I work in a pretty high pressured job myself which I think has made my bipolar disorder difficult to identify as when I am in the hypomanic state I actually am one of the highest performers in the company and when I am in the depressed side can delegate to enough people and am well respected enough that people dont seem to notice.

In regards to the interviews I would possibly look at a career coach or counsellor. Unfortunately though these can be very pricey, but if you just need some interview tips there may be someone around who can help.


If you havent resigned already, I would look at the possibility of taking some annual leave and see if you can use that time to attend interviews etc.

Hope that helps and if you need any other advice I am happy to help.

Regards,

Franky.

In response to: Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

@FrankyW84

Thanks for chipping in with your suggestions!

Unfortunately (or fortunately), I have already resigned a couple of weeks back, and my last working day is 29th January 2019.

But I have no regrets, though. I have tried the annual leave approach, but it simply didn't work because the company policy was to apply for annual leave at least a week before the date of the leave (even if it was just a day's leave). Hardly any employers are willing to wait that long just to interview a candidate. So it never worked out for me.

I think the main factor that affected my performance in the interviews, was the effort I had to put in just to take time off to attend those interviews. It stressed me out no end, and the lingering feeling of having to go back to m nightmarish workplace if I failed in the interview, and this was enough to ensure that I failed anyway.

All said and done, I am looking forward to seek new jobs from mid-February without having to deal with my current employer, or having to plead with them for time off. If I play the numbers game, applying for attending as many interviews as possible, I should likely make it through in at least one of them.

As I have mentioned in a previous post, I have saved up enough to live without income for up 6 months. But I am setting 3 months as the deadline, after which I will take up some temporary job which will at least help me with my rent and bills (so that I don't run out of all my money).

In response to: Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Hi @aficionado,

Sounds like you have it all in order. The job market usually has regained its momentum by Australia Day.

I hope things start to improve for you with this change. Look forward to seeing your updates as they progress.

Regards,

Franky

In response to: Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Re: Work pressure killing me, seeking advice

Thanks @FrankyW84

After my last working day, I am heading back to my home country for a couple of weeks. I will be back in Australia by mid-February February, right before my 1st tem at univesrity begins (part-time post graduate studies). I will be seeking jobs during the day time, and attending classes in the venings from mid-February. I am looking forward to start over from scrtach, with new hope and possibilities!

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