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Hate is not a strong enough word...

Hate is not a strong enough word...

I had a gastric sleeve five years ago and lost several dress sizes. My body moved freely, I felt more confident and for the first time in my life, I thought I was going to get my chance to live. But over time, I slowly regained the weight half the weight. I can't control my eating. Tomorrow, I am suppose to go out with a couple that I met through facebook some years ago. My being a carer and having social anxiety means I don't go out...it's been years since I was last out. So, I ventured to the shops to buy clothes for the event. Whatever depression I had yesterday is nothing compared to today after going shopping. I'm done. I'm going to go to this thing tomorrow, get it over and done with, get through the next couple of months and end it. I haven't wanted to live for years but there was always someone that needed me, well the kids are grown up and my mother is in her 80s so if she doesn't survive my death, it doesn't matter. I'm kind of relieved, calm about it, even a bit excited. I just want it to be over with asap. I'm going to fix a few things around the house and get my papers in order, try to save whatever money I can to leave behind...two months working like crazy should be enough.😊 Feel better now...tomorrow doesn't matter.

I hope people aren't upset by this, here is the only place I can talk about this stuff. Please be happy for me, I am going to be at peace at last...going home.

12 replies

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In response to: Hate is not a strong enough word...

Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

Hi @Lemonjuice

It sounds like it's been a really difficult day. Clothes shopping can be awful, I agree. And it must be incredibly nerve wracking preparing for meeting your online friends after not going out for years, even if it's something that you want to do and something that will be enjoyable when it happens. It's understandable that you are feeling really low right now.

Sometimes suicide can feel like the only option or the best option, but often it is a permanent solution to a temporary way of feeling. It sounds like the way you're feeling now has been triggered by specific events – the difficult day shopping and the social even coming up tomorrow. When we are feeling triggered or anxious, it is often not the best time to be making any kind of major decision as we are often not thinking rationally. I think there's a really good chance you will feel differently once the social event is behind you. It might even be a fun night - if you have things in common that have connected you over facebook, you probably also have a lot to talk about in real life.

It also sounds like you are feeling as though your reasons for living are changing, but I have no doubt that your children and mother still love you and would want to support you through this, rather than lose you forever. I can understand that having a way out is making you feel calmer, but there are almost always other ways of changing things for the better.

Is there anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling right now? It's great that you have reached out here and you're welcome to keep posting. It might also be helpful to chat to someone one on one given how low you are feeling. The following numbers are available 24/7:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

You are also welcome to contact the SANE Help Centre or use our online chat service. Both are available until 10 pm.

Do you have any professional supports that you will be seeing over the next days or weeks that you can talk to about this?

@Lemonjuice, I am also sending you an email to check in.

In response to: Hate is not a strong enough word...

Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

@Lemonjuice Hi Lemonjuice sorry to hear that things are really hard for you but I know they have been for some time. Believe it or not you are one of the contributers who I enjoy reading because you put it out there. You are very damn likeable. I am sure your friends will look past the weight gain and if they dont oh well f**k them.

Enjoy tomorrow, kids have moved on = enjoy your freedom.

Love greenpea xxxx

In response to: Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

@Lemonjuice I just wanted to say I get it. I’m not going to say anymore than I understand those feelings and thoughts.

In response to: Hate is not a strong enough word...

Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

Jeez Louise its tough @Lemonjuice My weight limits somehow have reached new norms over last few years. Ie incomprehensible from 7 yrs ago or 30yrs ago. Up. Down but always up in the long run. Maybe I’m the Stockmarket ha . I hope you are feeling better

In response to: Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

@TAB @Teej @Bunniekins @Former-Member

I just got back from having dinner with my fb friends. It was really good, I enjoyed myself. It's very interesting the people that go to make up this world. They are lovely, and I have known them for ages, but it's only recently, I found out that they had an open relationship, which included threesomes, plus. It was very interesting to learn about that and I expect they wanted me to join in, but it's not my thing. I'm rather old fashioned that way, but not judgemental about others and their choices. We had a great chat about it...great food, music, the place was full. I haven't been out in years, it was wonderful.

And my clothes, body issue; my niece made me go through everything and there we found a pair of jeans and a nice top and she did my makeup and hair. I don't know why but I had tossed those clothes aside thinking that I was too fat for them. I have put on a lot of weight and most of my clothes now don't fit, but I am not an enormous elephant. I have not gone back to where I was before weightloss.

In response to: Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

One step at a time, one day at a time.

@Lemonjuice So pleased for you 😊

In response to: Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

@Lemonjuice Hey Lemonjuice that is fantastic news :).I agree with the threesomes .... anyways ... sounds like you had a great time and the biggest plus of all is that you wore some nice clothes. That has perked me up as I have also put on weight and 'hate it!' my mum wants me to go shopping for clothes for my birthday but I have been resistant due to my weight but thanks to you I might give it a try :)xxxxx

In response to: Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

@Bunniekins I am glad to hear that. I have been thinking that sometimes we need to surrender control and let others guide us because our perception becomes too distorted.

In response to: Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

Wow re friends lifestyle @Lemonjuice um not trying to sound moralistic but most people can’t deal with that.
Im glad you had a good night and a re think re clothes etc. I was sort of happy with weight, but scared to weigh myself atm as can feel/see have put it back on. Well, someone said something very unflattering ok but true other night ugh

In response to: Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

Re: Hate is not a strong enough word...

I’m so glad you went and had a nice time. You deserve the best of everything. Bless you x

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