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Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

s-jaySenior Contributor26 Oct 2018, 6:10 pm AEDT

Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

One of the main reasons many expecting and new parents affected by perinatal anxiety & depression and postnatal psychosis say they don’t reach out for help is because they didn't understand what was happening to them. Many don’t realise they are ill and therefore suffer for longer than they need to. Many parents, looking back, say that if they had known more and been better able to prepare for some of the challenges they might have been better able to cope.

That’s why this year PANDA - Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia - chose the theme ‘I Wish I Knew’ for PANDA Week 2018. They will be our special guests on the 13th November 2018 right here! We'll be talking about becoming a new parent and how to get help if things become tough.

Want to receive an email reminder on the night? Hit the 'Support' button below.

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I'm new here - what is Topic Tuesday?

Topic Tuesday runs from 7pm - 8:30 or 9pm AEST monthly. Each month we focus on a different topic, with the session facilitated by a Community Manager or Moderator. Sometimes Topic Tuesday will feature a special guest, who is an expert in the topic.

The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

How do I get involved?

Topic Tuesday takes place right here! It's text based, so no software is needed. During the session, to keep up with the latest posts hit the 'refresh' button on your browser for the latest posts (it doesn't automatically update). Keep an eye for page numbers at the top & bottom of the page, and jump to the highest page number for the most recent post.

Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

KezkCasual Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:33 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Yes @Shaz51, it is common to experience these feelings even when you are a step-parent. Can you tell us a little bit more about what this transition has been like for you?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

dani2Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:33 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Hi shaz i also became at step parent to my partners 10 yo son too and soon after was pregant.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

CheerBearSenior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:36 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

I think 'unbottling' can be like releasing pressure @Elke. Reaching out and being able to be real about how I was feeling helped me to not feel so alone or like there was something wrong with me. I felt much more confident with my second baby knowing it was OK to be feeling and experiencing what I went through at times with my first.

My advice to people about to go through it all is that it is OK to not be OK, and that you dont have to go through it alone.

Hey @Shaz51 😊

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

dani2Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:38 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

My identity changed massively and quickly.. I was a single living in the city and going to gigs, travelling... i met my partner then was pregnant in 6 months living in the suburbs. so much change in the last 4 years of who i am... that took a bit to process

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:40 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

How are you going @dani2 with being a step mum and a mum xx

I did some reading up about it first @Kezk, @Elke

and got to know the children , there were a few ups and downs at first , but when I changed my attitude to theat the children don`t need another mum , things started to get better

Being their friend became more important

and to have my hubby and I to be a team but the children were his

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:43 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

My identity changed massively and quickly. too @dani2, @Kezk

I was single for a long time before meeting and getting married with 4 little ones

Hey @CheerBear

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

s-jaySenior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:44 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Love that concept of "unbottling" @CheerBear thanks for sharing.

And @dani2, that is a lot of change for you to process, keep on reflecting and doing that selfcare you mentioned earlier!

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

PANDASenior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:45 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Thanks everyone for your contributions and for your willingness to share your stories. These issues can be very difficult to discuss for many new parents so hopefully this session has shown that connecting and reaching out is so important during this huge transition. We would like to just end with giving you some information from our website that we hope is helpful. Thanks again and take care of yourselves so you can take care of your babies (whatever their age)!

PANDA Fact Sheets

Anxiety and Depression in Early Parenthood

Perinatal Anxiety and Depression in Men

Adjusting to the Challenges of Parenthood

Caring for Someone with Perinatal Anxiety and Depression

LGBTIQ Parents and Perinatal Anxiety and Depression

Recovery from Perinatal Anxiety and Depression

Wellbeing and Self Care

Talking to your Doctor

Please also feel free to access our mental health checklists:

https://www.panda.org.au/info-support/checklists

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

dani2Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:45 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

yes Shaz I had to do a lot of reading too, he is now 14 nothing could prepare me for step parenting a teenage boy!

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:47 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

thank you for the night @PANDA, @s-jay, @Kezk, I will have to go back and do some reading

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