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Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

s-jaySenior Contributor26 Oct 2018, 6:10 pm AEDT

Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

One of the main reasons many expecting and new parents affected by perinatal anxiety & depression and postnatal psychosis say they don’t reach out for help is because they didn't understand what was happening to them. Many don’t realise they are ill and therefore suffer for longer than they need to. Many parents, looking back, say that if they had known more and been better able to prepare for some of the challenges they might have been better able to cope.

That’s why this year PANDA - Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia - chose the theme ‘I Wish I Knew’ for PANDA Week 2018. They will be our special guests on the 13th November 2018 right here! We'll be talking about becoming a new parent and how to get help if things become tough.

Want to receive an email reminder on the night? Hit the 'Support' button below.

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The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

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Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

s-jaySenior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 7:21 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Thanks @CheerBear for coming along for tonight!

Agreed, massive changes which can be really confronting no matter how much mental preparation you do! Thanks for sharing your experience & expectations...

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

ElkeContributor13 Nov 2018, 7:23 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

There are a lot of misconceptions out there about becoming a parent, especially the pressure to be “perfect”. What are some of the pressures that you felt about being the “perfect parent”?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

KezkCasual Contributor13 Nov 2018, 7:25 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Yes @CheerBear, very true. We envision bringing a child into the world will bring our partnership closer together. In reality, when we havn't discussed the roles each of us will play in the family unit, it can quite often result in a disconnection between us and our partner. We also bring with us learnt behaviours from our own upbringing which we havn't had to think about which can result in different parenting styles and different ways of communicating our needs and desires to each other.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

dani2Contributor13 Nov 2018, 7:32 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Hi everyone, just signed up to join in. I had premi twins and thought I knew what I was up for after my first but definitely felt a loss at everything that went on with having premi babies. Hsopital stay etc.

I felt a lot of pressure to be perfect parent, even with a lot of support I felt like I was never on top things.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

CheerBearSenior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 7:34 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

That was very much the way it was @Kezk. Looking back I think it could have been really helpful for us if we'd had conversations about our hopes, expectations, roles, needs etc.!

@Elke I was considered a young parent and think that added a layer of pressure that I put on myself to kind of prove to myself and others that age didn't matter. I felt enormous pressure to get everything right which was really not going to happen as I now know!

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

s-jaySenior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 7:34 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Welcome @dani2! Thanks for signing up!

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

ElkeContributor13 Nov 2018, 7:34 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Here's a fact sheet that we find helpful regarding addressing the challenges that many people face during the transition to parenthood

We have a number of other really helpful tools available via our resources section on our website - feel free to have a look via: https://www.panda.org.au/awareness/resources

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

ElkeContributor13 Nov 2018, 7:38 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Cheerbear - Hindsight can be cruel like that. Had you known that the pressure was completely unrealistic and unhelpful it might have saved a lot of grief. As you say, this is why having these conversations is just so crucial. Well done you for wading through it!

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

KezkCasual Contributor13 Nov 2018, 7:38 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Hi @dani2, thanks for joining us to share your story. I can imagine it would have been tough having premi twins and this certainly would'nt have been the entrance into parenthood that you were hoping for. Some times it doesn't seem to matter how much support we have around us, we can still feel isolated and like we are not being the parent we 'think' we need to be. What did you believe the perfect parent looked like?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

ElkeContributor13 Nov 2018, 7:41 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Following on from what @CheerBear has mentioned, your relationships, or how you operate within society, personally, professionally etc. can change pretty significantly once you become a parent. Were there relationships that shifted for you as a new parent? What were the healthy relationships and how did you nurture them?

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