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I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

RazzleSenior Contributor16 Oct 2018, 8:13 pm AEDT

I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

Today, for the first time in 40years I’ve confronted the absolute horror of my childhood.

How dare these people steal my life and leave such a screwed up f###ing mess behind. I’m so angry and hurt I just want to scream.

I just want to punch a hole in something, drink myself stupid, sleep, cry and rage, but I have no energy to do any of it.

I feel filthy and disgusting, I want to claw at my skin but nothing is ever going to get them out.

I want to know what gives these people (a word I use VERY loosely) the right to do the sick twisted f###ed up things they did and then carry on with their lives like nothing ever happened, like I never mattered.

What did I ever do to deserve this?? I feel so helpless, so damn sad and pathetic.

21 replies

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In response to: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

BlueBaySenior Contributor17 Oct 2018, 6:25 pm AEDT

Re: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

Hi @Razzle

Reading what you write was exactly how I felt the other day.

I’m sorry you are struggling. It’s not fair. You didn’t deserve any of this.

I csn empathise with you so much

hugs ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

AppleblossomSenior Contributor17 Oct 2018, 6:32 pm AEDT

Re: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

I have been a people pleaser too. @Razzle

There are a lot of people who fall for the nice guy thing. Cept for it is not nice or even genuine, if the "nice guy's" wife is never supported or protected. I am hearing you.

In response to: Re: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

RazzleSenior Contributor17 Oct 2018, 6:42 pm AEDT

Re: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

@Appleblossom

@BlueBay

I feel like I’m in the middle of my own little pity party. Thanks for reaching out, just a bit emotional and overwhelmed at the moment. ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

AppleblossomSenior Contributor17 Oct 2018, 8:23 pm AEDT

Re: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

@Razzle

There was a song that went

"Its my party and I'll cry if I want to. Cry if I want to."

In response to: Re: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

RazzleSenior Contributor17 Oct 2018, 8:33 pm AEDT

Re: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

@Appleblossom And I probably will 👍👍

In response to: Re: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

outlanderSenior Contributor18 Oct 2018, 9:35 am AEDT

Re: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

@Razzle ihad a read of the thread you said and im so sorry you went through all of that. Im glad you are getting support around that. I had trauma that was abuse and its so hard to live with. But it is possible.

Sending some well wishes to you. Im not married so im glad others have given their perspective for you.

I hope todays ok for you, perhaps some extra self care today would be good

In response to: Re: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

RazzleSenior Contributor18 Oct 2018, 7:27 pm AEDT

Re: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

@outlander. Today’s session is over, it was pretty brutal. I’m feeling pretty flat and emotional now, can’t even imagine how my husband feels, he heard a lot of terrible sickening things about me that he had never heard before.

My fear of him being unsupportive have so far not eventuated, he’s been very good - glimmer of hope ??

It’s been a long day, I’m wrecked, time to zone out for a bit.

Thankyou for your support. ❤️❤️

In response to: I’m so bitter and pi$$ed off, feeling sorry for myself

JumpingcactusSenior Contributor19 Oct 2018, 9:41 pm AEDT