Lonliness

Hi @Beatrix73

Congratulations on the new addition :D. I guess I can't answer your questions, but i hope that being here might help a little bit, it has helped me to feel less alone in the past. New babies can keep us pretty busy in a bit of a round and round, doing the same things over and over, kind of way without much chance to get out too much.. I remember starting to feel a bit cooped up kind of - though circumstances were a bit different for me too. I did take my youngest to the local library a few times for a program called baby bounce and although your lil one is very small, it was a nice chance to mix with other mums and bubs/kids and meet new people. Not sure if that would be something you would be interested in, i think lots of libraries these days have them. Also your local mums and babies, or family centre, cahfs would probably have local info,

good luck

LJ

Hi @Beatrix73, welcome to the forums & thanks for posting.

You don't really tell us much of whats happening (and there is no pressure to say ANYTHING) so all anyone can do is take a general guess as to why your feeling so lonely.

Because you have posted this here I'm guessing you are experiencing some form of MI. That alone can be the cause. Often we may feel that those around us don't really know or understand us. We get to feel of not belonging in the life we are living and withdraw emotionally from those around us - even if we know that in reality they do love & care about us.

On top of that you have the 4 children to worry about, including a baby, which in itself can be physically & emotionally draining. Added to anything else that's going on it can make you feel empty, unable to connect to anyone around you.

Have you spoken to your partner or anyone else about how you're feeling?

Maybe @Former-Member is right and you need to find something to get you out & in contact with others. Something to help relieve the feeling of being cooped up and alone, get away from the sameness of everyday.

Whatever the cause & solution to how you feel, I hope you find something soon. In the meantime, take care.

Hello Beatrix73 welcome here this is only my 3rd time and everyone is really helpful.

I always feel lonely and I have 4 kids, but one has left And lives Interstate and I miss her so much it hurts all the time she left nearly a year ago now, but it feels like part of my heart has broken, they say it's because of my BPD as part of that we suffer badly from abandonment scared to loose one that we love so I don't know if that's why, but I cry a lot and wish she never left, she met so eine through online games and moved to him, I'm trying to get help but waiting list are terrible here.

MI = Mental Illness

Sounds like you're kept very active @Beatrix73, but being active doesn't always mean getting involved or connected with those around you as you're finding out.

I think Troy Cassar-Daley was right with the opening lines of You Will Believe In Me - "I grew up a loner in a crowded place".

You don't say if this has been ongoing or just a recent occurrance. Are you seeing or being treated for something? If not, seeing your GP about it is probably the best thing to do. It can be difficult to really open up to those closest too us, we're often scared of how they will react.

What you're experiencing is something many here have experienced. You could be standing in the most crowded place in the world yet may as well be alone. And being alone would probably feel better than being amongst people you can't relate to.

On top of that you seem to have a feeling that you aren't meeting some sort of expectation of what you should doing. Maybe your hubby doesn't get the idea you aren't doing enough simply because you seem to have an active, busy life and he doesn't expect more.

There are people here, including a number of mothers like @Former-Member, who are more than willing to support & care about you, offering thoughts, ideas & suggestions to help you cope, even if you only come here to release some of the pressure when it seems to much to handle. But none of that can replace having someone in your real life to help deal with it all & get proper treatment if needed. Go see someone if you aren't already - a GP, therapist, counsellor or whatever. Just because you feel alone doesn't mean you have to face it alone.

Take care & stay safe.