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bad mother

Unknown userMember04 Mar 2016, 3:37 pm AEDT

bad mother

Have had a really hard day doing a family assessment thing for family court. the assessor was really harsh and blunt and brutal, which was because she only had a specific time to talk to me for and needed to get as much detail as possible from me - i felt rushed and stressed. i got really upset and had to go to my school to get the kids and it was obvious i was upset and had a difficult time, but being new there it was just awkward and really awful. then my daughter was interviewd and came out upset too (not crying just tired and grumpy and very quiet).

then my son... then my ex was an hour late for his observation with the children.

i have so much going round in my head, i know i'm good mum but sometimes when i get asked so many questions and why don't i, or didnt i, or can't i stuff i just feel like the worst person in the world. i'm so tired of this whole process, and having to relive stuff over and over and feel like im either not believed, or judged for how i dealt with things. Then with my mental health stuff i get more questions and everyone gts interviewd about me and i hate it, its like im on trial or something.

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In response to: bad mother

Unknown userMember15 Apr 2016, 6:51 pm AEST

Re: bad mother

🙂 something to aim for huh!

wow, i cant imagine my kids at those ages... growing up in todays world looks so tough, they're lucky they have you both looking out for them 🙂

In response to: bad mother

DecadianSenior Contributor15 Apr 2016, 11:28 pm AEST

Re: bad mother

Hi @Former-Member

You come across as a caring mother - and it is no wonder you are stress out with all the Family Court Pressure - some kind of invented nightmare to sort the chaff from the hay or whatever - and we do our best as mothers and it is the hardest job in the world and we are not given any training for it unless we go out of our way to attend parenting classes

I remember when DHS got involved with our family when our son was out of control - and thinking back now - no one could have helped him - he was too badly wired and too unhappy - but DHS kept pushing the buttons and pushing the buttons and pushing them thar buttons until I felt really tired and floppy which made it harder for me to mother this unhappy little boy

I hope DHS doesn't have the same attitude it had - well - I am trying to think we DHS got involved - but it was when my son's school teacher tried for several months of that school year trying and then burned out - as did I - and others - we were all the the same place obviously.

So this must have been toward the end of 1980 - I think - so I hope it's not as hard on struggling parents -

I just thought - if the parents and the teachers and the psychologist and psychiatrists and social workers, butchers, bakers and candlestick makers are all in a quandry - it pretty much open slather - and you are going through the family court - that's not a fun place either

I've said as much as I should for now - I don't want you thread to be all about me - but this is my story and it helps me as well as you and everyone else in the discussion to know the background of longer posts about the subject

But hurrying interviews and harrassing people is not good form - and they are not in your shoes -

But I repeat - you come across as a good mother to me

Decadian

In response to: Re: bad mother

AppleblossomSenior Contributor15 Apr 2016, 11:46 pm AEST

Re: bad mother

Hi @Decadian

I just came back from a poetry reading celebrating a culture that values the older wise woman .. and there were lots of couples and almost even split between the sexes (so not a batch of feminists). It was fuller than most churches these days and there was singing and music.

@Angels333 I agree with ljs comments. Hub, 3 kids working and holding a family of teens together is setting priorities. Dont underestimate the value in that. There is plenty of time for pieces of paper. Starting to feel a sense of future is big. Take care.

Hope you are sleeping at the moment @Former-Member

In response to: Re: bad mother

DecadianSenior Contributor16 Apr 2016, 12:21 am AEST

Re: bad mother

Thanks for telling me this Apple - it sounds like a worthwhile evening - I'm glad you went

It's a sad state that Western Society does not value the Wise Woman - but I think things are changing -

I was lucky enough to have my grandmother living with us when I was growing up - she was an Older Wise Woman too - and I have wonderful memories of my time with her -

And LJ - I hope you are sleeping too - something I should be doing by now

Decadian

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