Struggling Mum and her friends

Hope everything is going ok @Strugglingmum? Been a couple of weeks since you've visited. Please let us know how you're doing if you can.

Take care.

Hi,

I'm really sorry I haven't been here lately, or more so not participating.
Since starting work, things have just piled up and up and up... Sorry if people were worried, I just felt that I the time I needed for me was to get the kids ready for bed, organize everything for the next day without loosing my mind was to just sleep. The other day I realized I had not showered for a whole day, I felt I had no time for that!
I've been wanting to go back to the alanon but again no time... Had the kids party, family events then had no one to look after the kids so I can go. I just feel everything has been on the back burner and I'm keeping a lot of things in and know that it will eventually errupt out of nowhere which I know is not how I should deal with things.
Hubby is still the same, I went through our mailbox and discovered he was not paying rent, a letter was that "we" as my name is still on the lease is getting evicted unless he pays, had fines that wasn't paid so he was driving without a license, electricity (under my name) was not paid as direct debit came out but no money in there, then his credit card was cancelled as he was not paying his monthly payments so it went straight to the collectors.... So serious debt with no savings... WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED??? Thinking about it again now makes me so angry and mad and I knew this was going to happen, I said that this was the reason why I wasn't there because we wouldn't have any money for the baby nappies if I stayed. I hate not having money and not being in control of that... Again his abuse of alcohol takes over because he never ever used to be like this. He bought me a car years ago with cash $5k he had no credit card, no debt.... He was my provider... Anyways see I Iike not think about those things and bury it... He managed to borrow money from his friend and has caught up on rent and now just paying debt collectors.... And his friend back... The thing is he earn so much money but wastes it all... He can still pay his friend back weekly and still have money for rent amongst other things. ive realise he controls his drinking when he has the kids on his own... I don't ever know if I'm ever going to have his old self back without him getting help for others/services. And am I a shitty wife because I didn't stick by him and waited, then how long will I wait?? I never got the referral from the Gp either, I feel like I'm sabotaging myself...
Ahhh... Soooo that has been my life in the past few weeks. There is never enough hours in the day....

Hi @Strugglingmum. So much going on for you right now and it seems a lot of it isn't good.

It seems like returning to work has upset things a bit. Hopefully as you get back into the routine things will get a little more organised and you will find that you can find the extra time you to do the things you need right now.

I think you really need to consider getting your name off bills & expenses that don't directly affect you. Even if things do work out later, his problem keeping up with things right now can really come back on you as your credit rating falls. And if things don't work out maybe it will be even worse. Please think about it, for your own sake.

You certainly aren't a 'shitty' wife. It's one thing to stand by, wait & support someone who is actively involved in fixing the situation. But when the problem becomes more important than the basic necessities then you have to put the welfare of you & your children above anything else. The fact you still seem to care a lot says something, maybe one day he will realise it and it will be motivation for him to change. But please never put his needs above your own or the children's.

I do hope you get to the GP soon, you need to start paying more attention to your own well-being.

Take care.

@Drac0 this is a really great responce..... ille be back soon....