Topic Tuesday // Tues, 15 March, 7pm AEDT // Managing and changing your thoughts

I do try to see myself as being worthwhile, but i seem to see things through the prism, i only see the negative in all news and what people say to me, i seem drawn to negativity, even when i was a child, everything was so negative. i don't know how to change these thoughts when i only see negativity

Ok @Shimmer, so it could be something like this:

"I'm not good enough, and others know it - they can see right through me" instead I could tell myself, I can't read people's minds, and there's no evidence for this"

"I should have prepared more" to "I've done as much as I possible could have"

"The other person's presentation was SO much better" to "there's no use in comparing, everyone needs to start somewhere, and my track record says I do ok"

"I don't belong here, I feel like an imposter" to "I do belong here, I was invited just like everyone else"

@Jacques you show a lot of insight in being able to recognise that you sometimes engage in most of the thinking styles on the sheet.

You make a really good point in saying that you have come to accept these thoughts over many years even though you know they are untrue. When we get into the habit of thinking things over and over, we can often start to believe them, and they can seem very hard to shift. But that doesn't mean they are true.

Getting some distance from your thoughts, and not taking them as truth just because they passed through your mind, can be really helpful to break these patterns. Our minds are thought-producing machines, and it’s our reactions to thoughts, not their mere presence, that determines the effect they will have on us.

Does that make sense to you @Jacques?

@Jacques as @Shimmer mentioned it's hard to change thinking particularly if you've had these thinking patterns for a while. It will be tough at first, but over time it can get easier.

@Former-Member - that's a great question! Earlier tonight we spoke about clarity with hindsight. I think @Shimmer mentioned that you can start with planning the day ahead or even just reflecting at the end of the day so that you can be more prepared next time you are confronted with a similar situation. Is that right @Shimmer?

I think I understood you @Former-Member... that is how it happens - most of the time we are unaware of these thoughts going through our minds, so they affect our mood and actions without us even realising. The ultimate aim is to be able to recognise it as it happens in our daily lives in the real world, and focusing on specific situations like tonight is a way to practice identifying and challenging these thoughts, so that we become better at doing it, it becomes habitual and we can start doing it in the moment. Does that answer your question?

No need to apologise @Former-Member - I was just trying to give you an update so that you wouldn't need to read over.