Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

I find getting out of my house, even if it is just to walk my dog, makes me feel more connected to the world. I work up the courage to smile at strangers, maybe say hellom make small talk at the shops... This is the kind of baby steps I'm talking about.

Socialising doesn't have to be parties and dinners all the time. It can just be small meaninful connections with your hairdresser.

I know that as human being we are designed to be social animals @jess_27 but I have always been more of a loner. There have been times when I have been very social but they certainly come with good periods in my life and having more self-confidence - I know self-confidence and a history of being hurt are definitely major considerations in how I interact with others now.

@Adge I find setting boundaries important. I communicate what I am willing to talk about in terms of my mental health and otherwise. I also tell people my symptoms so that they cna recognise when I might be slipping, I also only see people when I up to it or have them come to me. That's some of my self-care surrounding relationships. I hope it helps.

@jess_27 I have no problems with dealing with small talk with strangers but it is the next level of interaction that I have difficulties with - that stage when you share part of yourself with other.

@Zoe7 you just gave me the perfect segway into my next question! We are social animals which means we often need human contact, even when we don't actively crave it.

I reach out to people in small and subtle ways. One example is going to get my nails done with my Mum. We sit together in silence and she provides me companionship. We then go out for coffee and talk a little. This gets me out of the house and back into social situations I often try to hide from.

How do you sustain connection during periods of feeling unwell and wanting to be more isolated?

Thanks @jess_27 Yes that helps.

I see what you mean - I look forward to going to the hairdressers, because they are so friendly.

The same with my Dentist, even though it's unpleasant.

A smile from a stranger makes my day.

Adge

@Zoe7 I totally understand that. Giving parts of ourselves to others is scary. Have there been times where you have felt more comfortable doing this? What do you think was different about those times that you could aim to recreate in the future?

@Adge I LOVE the dentist too! They are such friendly people.

We crave social contact, even superficial social contact is better than complete isolation.

I’m sorry @Former-Member@jess_27 and others

I need to go. In a bit of pain st the moment.

Thsnks fir this great discussion tonight.

My connections have been mainly through this forum and my health professionals @jess_27 The better I have been feeling the more I have been able to connect with people online and in my DBT group but I still find it easier to be alone. I do see my sister once a week but I try to limit that time as well - we have our dogs in common but apart from that I am very on -guard around her too.