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Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember18 Sept 2018, 8:40 am AEST

Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

This topic has come to us as a result from the poll we put out to you, the community. For this Topic Tuesday event will have a special guest from our Peer Ambassador program @jess_27 to share insights from their own lived experience, covering the postitive effects of social connection, managing the challenges of some negatives and idea sharing on tips and strategies to approach maintaining healthy social connections in your life.

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Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

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129 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

AdgeSenior Contributor20 Nov 2018, 8:38 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

How do you communicate with your loved ones to set boundaries for how you want support?

That's a tricky question @jess_27

Because when I try to express a need for support, to the few contact I have -

The response is quite often to pressure me to do it all myself (without them).

They overwhelm me with "advice" (suggestions), that I am actually not able to do myself (by myself).

I think that makes them feel "helpful" - when in fact it leaves me feeling rejected & more powerless.

Adge

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Zoe7Senior Contributor20 Nov 2018, 8:39 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

As I said I am gettin better at saying no to things when it means not doing something I want or need to do. That is the hardest thing I have had to learn and I am still working on it. I am also getting better at diffusing tensions when others in the family are disagreeing (arguing) about things. I try to settle the disagreement by deflecting their anger and not taking it on myself. I will also walk away if it is too intense @jess_27 - all those things I would not have done a year ago but the more I do them the easier it becomes - like anything - it takes practice.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

jess_27Senior Contributor20 Nov 2018, 8:40 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

That sounds like quite a shared expererience @Adge

It is okay to tell people that they are not being helpful with their suggestions and platitudes. You are allowed to put that boundary up.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

jess_27Senior Contributor20 Nov 2018, 8:42 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

@Zoe7 I know I just met you but I hope you don't mind me saying how proud that makes me of you.

Learning to set boudnaries is incredibly difficult.

I heard this great saying that might apply to you @Adge as well. 'The only people who get mad about you setting boundaries are those who benefited from you having none in the first place'

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Zoe7Senior Contributor20 Nov 2018, 8:43 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

I do that a lot more with my sister @jess_27 @Adge - say that what she is doing is not helping but adding to my stress. It usually ends in her apologising or saying she is just trying to help. My response is usually that I understand that but it is not helping the situation.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Zoe7Senior Contributor20 Nov 2018, 8:44 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Maybe you should stick around the forum a bit @jess_27 - I think we could talk here all night lol

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

jess_27Senior Contributor20 Nov 2018, 8:45 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

haha You wont get rid of me now! 😉

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

AdgeSenior Contributor20 Nov 2018, 8:45 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

I find it very hard to tell people that they are not being helpful with their suggestions @jess_27

That's a big work in progress.

I used to make myself stay & listen (in groups), when people were totally ignoring me - or speaking right over the top of me.

One suggestion I was given - was not to make myself stay, to get up & leave (instead).

That's a good idea, because I think it is better for my self-esteem, & is valuing myself better.

Adge

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

jess_27Senior Contributor20 Nov 2018, 8:47 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

You are so right @Adge that is a great boundary to set. Valuing your own time and mental health does not make you a bad person or rude. It makes you strong.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

jess_27Senior Contributor20 Nov 2018, 8:48 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

FINAL QUESTION!

And I think we have been inadvertently talking about this all night.

Sometimes support comes from unexpected places. I have found a really beautiful online community through Instagram and my blog.

What support networks open you up to the world? (keep in mind the forum guideline of anonymity – don’t share specific profiles or blogs!)

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