Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Thanks @Former-Member

-My husband initially (with my support) agreed to see a private psychologist. At this point, with no idea of a later BPD diagnosis, the standard psychological therapies such as CBT and talk therapy weren’t successful other than a listening ear to hear him talk.

- My husband then agreed to be referred to a psychiatrist where he was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and placed on medication. At first we both were both excited and hopeful that things would change with a simple pill, but we were soon to notice that the medication made him overly sedated, emotionally numb and contributed to a big weight gain, without any real impact on his symptoms.

-The psychiatrist then referred my husband to a neuro psychologist for an assessment, which returned a new diagnosis… Schizoaffective Disorder. Refusing to re commence the same medications, my husband was referred to a psychiatric nurse, who was not only unable to assist with any of his behavioural symptoms, but offered some extremely unhelpful advice.

-Another couple of years later, with no further treatment in between, I suggested to my husband that BPD could be a possibility (I had done my own research on this) and would he be open to exploring the option of another assessment. Fortunately he agreed, and I researched and found a private psychiatrist who specialised in BPD and with a thorough childhood history and current symptoms and behaviours, he was able to make an accurate BPD diagnosis.

The process was long and frustrating for both of us, however getting a correct diagnosis allowed us both to understand the reasons behind his symptoms and behaviours better.

How have others found the process in getting a BPD diagnosis?

Hi all, I'm a forum newbie, hoping to gain some knowledge to help me support my girlfriend of 5 years who has BPD.

Hi @onedayatatime - welcome to the forums and our Topic Tuesday event! Wonderful to have you join us. We have @Shaz51 and @Determined with us so far and our lovely guest @Stacey_N who has just given us a bit of insight into the process of getting a diagnosis for her partner. Have a look at the questions I post and add your own insights as we go!

Hi @onedayatatime

Nice to meet you too @Stacey_N

@Former-Member re the diagnosis process until recently I thought my darlings diagnosis was something that had happened 4 years ago, about the time I lost my job to burnout. I found out recently she was officially diagnosed over 13 years ago after the birth of our first child was born. Darling and her psychiatrist decided it did not concern me and I did not need to know. Lovely. Made me feel great when it came out in a marriage counselling session. the

She was referred to a psychiatrist by the drs and midwives in the maternity ward with a diagnosis of post natal depression when they got all 'excited' about what to me was normal behaviour.

I am not totally sure about the diagnosis process as I was mostly excluded.

Both darling and I have recieved some most unhelpful and unprofessional advice.

@DeterminedWhat you are describing is a very common experience for carers/loved ones. My husband agreed for me to write a letter to his psychologist explaining what I observe so that we could provide some collateral information. My husband gave her the letter and told her it was with his full permission and she tore it up saying it had nothing to do with me.

@Stacey_N one of my biggest beefs and sourses of anxiety and distress has been the total lack or regard or acknowledgement of my input or level of support. At least her current dr will listen to me when I call in a crisis.

I have a close family friend with BPD and have been trying to support her partner who is coming to terms with his partner's BPD and what it means to him his new son and family.

Oh wow @Determined that sounds tough! I bet it didn't feel great to only find that out later however it is positive to hear that you were working through it in counselling! @Stacey_N that sounds quite confronting for your partner when the therapist tore up the letter too

@DeterminedMy husband also saw a psych nurse who advised him to leave me as I was unable to meet all his needs which in her opinion made me selfish and ungrateful.