FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

The incredible shrinking life

The incredible shrinking life

I awake every morning, sore and weary

having tossed and turned
and dreamed of being a character

in a playstation game,
wandering about collecting
tokens and using my wand
to blast things out of the way.
I spend too much time playing'obviously.

I awake every morning,

with no thought in my head, yet

and immediately the absence

has to be filled

usually with

something sad or bad
that happened to me.
Then I push up out

of my warm bed

in my lovely home
and make coffee and roll

a smoke.
Blinking on the couch

as I top up
caffiene and nicotine
pretending I am

'meditating' but really
scrambling inside

my overly large brain
looking for a foothold

so I don't slip off a cliff and

f

a

l

l

any further down than I already am...

I catch my thoughts and

turn them around.,
turnaround. turnaround (bright eyes)
and wonder what I will do today

besides the washing, the dishes and

vacuuming.

The weather has been cold and rainy
but I like that, I like it too

when the sun cracks out of the clouds and

illuminates my lounge room

with golden light.
Or flashes through the crystal
hanging outside the window

refracting rainbows around

the lounge room

a whirl of colour and movement.

Better than drear and grey.

I am sad and lonely

broken hearted over a freindship that

went horribly pear-shaped

a month ago when

I spat cross words at a friend
who was with all reasonable assessment

saying soemthing hurtful

but that had I had my boundaries on tight

I would have let slide

through to the keeper.
It escalated unbelievably on both sides

and I am now without that friend.
I didn't have many to start with
so her loss is a big loss.

I went to see my psychologist today
I was very intellectual and controlling

the conversation

so much she remarked on it

and then I broke.

D

o

w

n.
And cried, a snotty, teary, sobbing mess.
I feel so alone.
I have such a beautiful partner

My wife, my life.

She works

and I am now at home

Totally and permanently disabled,

but my mind flies free

somedays.

I lack friends, motivation
and the life I had before
where work was a chore

but at least I had others to

laugh with the incidental relationships

talking, sharing...
All gone now.

Social media is all I have really
and it is so fraught,

it is where the split up happened.
I had never met her, that friend
we had talked for seven years
seven! and then over an argument

it is gone.

I dunno - my life is outwardly so good
I have a home, enough to eat
a warm special home
with dogs and a woman who loves me and

who I love.

But here I am with fabrics to sew, bu I can't be bothered
and blank canvas to paint and I can't be bothered

a a book to write and I ... can't be bothered.

I have seeds to sew, and a garden to play in
but can't be bothered.
I am feeling the lack of any point to my life.
But not suicidal, don't worry.
Not Me. I have been here forever
feeling pain and strain
and haven't done it yet.

(that 'yet' is not a cry for help)

I have reduced my meds in the
hope of picking up some motivation
and I am astounded already
how different I feel
but I am

S
l

i

d

i

n

g

Down a rabbit hole. A burrow.
My psch made a special appointment for me

in two weeks time instead of four

so we can talk about

how to get me socially engaged.
I can't be bothered.
I don't want to meet new people.
And have to pretend I'm okay.
Or worse

meet new people
and through anxiety be kurt

or sharp and runaway,

runaway.

I know it is odd to


have written this in this form,

but

this helps me process

in a different way.

So, here I am I am,

not lonely per se
rather feeling

like an alien...

outerspaced.

Moongal. Moodgal.

31 replies

11 - 20 of 31

In response to: The incredible shrinking life

Re: The incredible shrinking life

@MoonGal Sorry you had to explain.

It is very hard getting back into workforce. Easier to get a job from a having a job.

I think you may have explained the physical and mental health issues, years ago and I used to know TPD when I worked at Social Security but that was the early 1980s for me.

It actually makes a huge difference to have some outside belonging. Are there no charities or common interest, miniature railway or land care groups you could join?

I know it is hard to work under people if they are unskilled managers.

Re med reduction. I am taking it very seriously that it needs to happen in minute doses. Even the medication I give my cat cannot be stopped suddenly. Could stress him out with fatal consequences.

I used to push myself too hard in all ways, and think it was about determination or commitment etc, but by the gentle approach my current psychiatrist is taking. I can tell that the complexity of the bodily interactions is so intense ... its best to go slow.

Hoping you feel the urge to do some creative work.

In response to: The incredible shrinking life

Re: The incredible shrinking life

Your very welcome dear @MoonGal. Sounds like a good plan you have - please keep us updated with how everything goes for you. Thinking of you 😊

In response to: The incredible shrinking life

Re: The incredible shrinking life

(May be triggering).
A few weeks on...

READY

Every morning
upon awakening
my heart still beats
my lungs still breathe.
I don’t know how
I keep on keeping on.
This body is industrious
in keeping me alive.
My brain, part of the whole
seems to operate
as an alien.
This past harm an
Unidentified Flying Object
in the Space of me.

So, there, in bed,
warm and rested,
opening eyes to a lovely room
full of Africana bought home
from our adventures.
I open my eyes and for a moment the
soft light through the curtains
welcomes me to the day
then
My trauma brain
kicks in
and every bad thing
that ever happened to me
swirls in a cyclonic storm.
My slow heart beat quickens
my slow breathing hastens.
It is as if it is
happening again.
Again.

I want to be free of this.
Do whatever it takes.
(One way is to die.
But I haven’t yet and
while I reserve that
right in the future
I will not go there, now.)

Now.
I will seek the resources and
help that in this age
have finally arrived for us
Survivors.

I have dug about in
the shit heap of my past enough.
I have even recovered that little Jude,
so she laughs and dances
some days…
We can feel emotions
and express them freely.
Expression. Joy.

But the news does me in,
Triggered.
A word laughed at
and misunderstood
by those who have
never experienced it.
The Inquiries on the news
bought day after punishing day of memories
flooding back.
It is good these things are exposed
it is hard for survivors.
The institutional rape culture,
Not my story exactly.
But part of my story too.
No redress for me though.
Triggered by
innocuous things, too.
A smell, a person, a name.
A story.

I want to be free,
I want to leap and bound
and laugh, free.
Free.
From ever present thoughts
and memories.
Free.
I want to be all of me,
not the shell I am
protecting self at the slightest
perceived criticism.
Some days, too many...
Hiding and cringing
in self-disgust and
never ending shame.

I have done so much work on this,
a lifetime
in and out of Psychologist’s offices
then found a woman
who resonated.
We worked.
Diligently.
I was freed up and could see the light.
Even stopped biting my nails
for the first time since I was four.
Imagine!

But Now
triggers and memories
return every morning.
Again.
All day, the wasps sting.
Started nibbling my nails.
Unless I am playing video games
or reading, or gardening.
But even then a sudden
intrusive thought
will sweep me away
from enjoyment.
I need to find my centre.
My heart beating slowly.
My breath soft.

I seek an antidote to what ails me.
And once more will step up,
and throw myself into the river
and swim, to find the life buoy
of hope and recovery.
Swim toward the light.

I am ready for the freedom part.
Ready.
_____________

Me. 4 September 2018.

______________

BlueKnot came up in an advert online.
They know the childhood trauma process
Had a chat with their helpline this morning
and she gave me hope, perhaps there is a
way through and out.
Perhaps there is.

____________________

https://www.blueknot.org.au/
This video from Blue Knot is good: https://youtu.be/r-DV6MJx0PM
More here: https://www.blueknot.org.au/Survivors-Supporters/For-Survivors/Resources-for-Survivors

In response to: Re: The incredible shrinking life

Re: The incredible shrinking life

I spend the better part of every day battling my thoughts and memories. It is exhausting. I like the buddhism teachings (the eastern psychology not the religious 'side" of it) and recently 'got' something, that I had read, heard a hundred times before - but it was put in such a way on that day I HEARD it differently... 




"Our thoughts and feelings flow like a river. If we try to stop the flow of a river, we will meet the resistance of the water. It is better to flow with it, and then we may be able to guide it in ways we want it to go. We must not attempt to halt it.
Keep in mind that the river must flow and that we are going to follow it. We must be aware of every little stream that joins it. We must be aware of all the thoughts, feelings, and sensations that arise in us - of their birth, duration, and disappearance. Do you see? Now the resistance begins to disappear. The river of perceptions is still flowing, but no longer in darkness. It is now flowing in the sunlight of awareness. To keep this sun always shining inside of us, illuminating each rivulet, each pebble, each bend in the river, is the practice of meditation. To practice meditation is, first of all, to observe and to follow these details."
- Thich Nhat Hanh


So for the past few days I have been catching my thoughts and then witnessing them as they flow past like a river. I am finding though, what goes with that is a new clarity about just HOW MUCH TIME I spend in being squirrelled up in the thought processes, things trigger me - my own thoughts suddenly LEAP back to a memory or start obsessively ruminating on a 'problem'. I am glad I am seeing the stream of thoughts for what it is, and I know the buddhist perspective is to see without judgement, just witness with detachment (or love).


I want to find ways to get past the triggers, get past the obsessive thinking and everything I do to avoid the feelings, it seems insane to me to be constantly narrating my back story and expecting to feel better. I JUST WANT it all to stop.
Tired, over it. I want to enjoy the beautiful life I have.

In response to: Re: The incredible shrinking life

Re: The incredible shrinking life

sending you lots of hugs sister @MoonGal

Hello @Former-Member, @Appleblossom, @CamilaWillaims

In response to: Re: The incredible shrinking life

Re: The incredible shrinking life

@MoonGal ❤️🌹

In response to: Re: The incredible shrinking life

Re: The incredible shrinking life

Thanks @MoonGal That quote is so good at making meditation processes clear.

It helps give strategy for dealing with new or particular thoughts as simply part of the flow.

I am going with being a product but not a prisoner of my past. How to own it without it ruling me ...

I hope you get the best life possible and find plenty of compassion for the fullness of YOU.

In response to: Re: The incredible shrinking life

Re: The incredible shrinking life

@Appleblossom@MoonGal 'I am going with being a product but not a prisoner of my past. How to own it without it ruling me ...' Damn right!!!

In response to: Re: The incredible shrinking life

Re: The incredible shrinking life

@Bunniekins

Working on it ....

I saw Pirates of Penzance yesterday and I am going with

We dont know how orften we meet an orphan or ....similar silliness.

In response to: Re: The incredible shrinking life

Re: The incredible shrinking life

@Appleblossom Sorry that has gone straight over the pea's head

11 - 20 of 31