Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Eating disorder

quietscreamsSenior Contributor08 Feb 2016, 8:14 pm AEDT

Eating disorder

Hi, I'm so overwhelmed. Is there somewhere to go to meet other parents who have a child with an eating disorder? I live in the south eastern suburbs. Also is there any information sessions available to us carers?

20 replies

1 - 10 of 20

1 2

In response to: Eating disorder

CherryBombSenior Contributor09 Feb 2016, 7:45 am AEDT

Re: Eating disorder

Hi @quietscreams,

It can feel traumatising caring for a child who has an eating disorder. The impact of the disorder and their health and well-being can be hard to witness, and it can feel isolating not being able to about it with other parents who might not understand. May I ask how old is your child? And what state are you in? I might be able to point you to a service.

I'm not sure if you're in Victoria, but there's Eeating Disorder Victoria. They're one of our parnter organisations. Perhap @EDV can provide some advice? They also have a helpline that might be useful if you're not in Vic - they may be able to point to a service in your area

Also you might want to connect with @Feelingalone, who also cares for a child with an eating disorder. She's written about it here, and @mia1 cares for her daughter who has an ED, which she's written about here.

In the mean time, may I ask if you are doing things to care for you? I ask this because often carers can focus on so much on caring for others that they can forget to care about themselves.

CherryBomb

In response to: Eating disorder

quietscreamsSenior Contributor09 Feb 2016, 9:06 am AEDT

Re: Eating disorder

Thankyou CherryBomb

I have only just come on to this forum. My husband put me onto it. I'm frazzled so haven't worked my way around it yet. If I get a chance, I'll look at those tags later. I appreciate it.
Yes, I'm in Victoria. I know others with troubled teens but nobody with an eating disorder. My daughter is 19. She has been in and out of hospitals for 3 years. I feel that she's giving up on being cured. She's very touchy about speaking to us, or anyone about it all. She clams up. She's trusted a couple of people, who have left their positions so the momentum ceased. Each time has shaken her up. Her depression and anxiety are strong. She says she has depression and anxiety which started the eating disorder. I think she has a control issue and has used food against me since she was a toddler - now spiralled out of control.
We have been through the extreme anger stage and rebellion against us, her parents, mainly me. She's more frustrated with not getting better and the services letting her down along the way - along with the lack of control. She does speak more with me now - we are getting close again but I am losing hope that she will be well one day.
Her mindset is still askew. We have a list of people with mental illness or personality disorders or depression on both sides of our family. I have been carer for a few, over decades. I have just recently had 2 deaths in my family. I fear that my amazing, beautiful, lovely daughter will be lost forever. Will I have to be carer for the rest of my life? I've been carer ALL of my life, up to now.
I'm burnt out. I'm broken hearted. I protected my children from the negatives that surrounded me. I only showed them the good. I gave them happy childhoods. We had a stable home. I had a bad injury, which was lengthy and I was in chronic pain, then had surgery. I was wiped out for a year. I woke up from surgery to find my daughter in trouble - not herself at all. Completely out of control and a mess. That was 3 years ago. I'm still in shock

In response to: Eating disorder

quietscreamsSenior Contributor09 Feb 2016, 9:09 am AEDT

Re: Eating disorder

Also, I volunteer with animal care and in a running group to help me to cope. Nothing can help me though while my daughter is in pain

In response to: Eating disorder

EDVSenior Contributor09 Feb 2016, 10:24 am AEDT

Re: Eating disorder

Hi, @quietscreams,

Please do get in touch with us on 1300 550 236, anytime between 9.30 and 5.00pm Mon-Fri.

We do have support groups available, including one tonight from 7.00pm in Ringwood for Family and Friends. Please see here for more info, http://www.eatingdisorders.org.au/events, or just give us a call!

Wishing you and your family all the best, Matt

In response to: Eating disorder

quietscreamsSenior Contributor09 Feb 2016, 12:01 pm AEDT

Re: Eating disorder

Thankyou. I've had a look and have taken notes as to when they are on. I will speak with my husband as to which one suits us with time.

In response to: Re: Eating disorder

CherryBombSenior Contributor17 Feb 2016, 9:37 pm AEDT

Re: Eating disorder

Hi @quietscreams,

I just wanted to check in with you. How are you going?

Thinking of you, hope you and your daughter are ok.

CherryBomb

In response to: Eating disorder

quietscreamsSenior Contributor17 Feb 2016, 10:01 pm AEDT

Re: Eating disorder

Thankyou CherryBomb. I went to see a counsellor today from Eating Disorders Victoria. I rang the number above. I now have information for a course. My daughter wasn't too bad today. She was in a slump for weeks but has started to come out of it.
There's been a lot of secrecy involved with her case and the privacy policy. You know? I have suspected all along but got confirmation today that it stems from PTSD. There's a lot of complexities and it's going to take a very long time to overcome this.
I feel like a zombie a lot of the time. Some days crying, some strong.
Everyone tells me how strong I am, including the doctor, but it's a case of having to be. There's no other choice. I have started shaking a bit and I'm developing a bit of a nervous twitch. Haha. But I'm better at the moment to what I was when I wrote the above.
Thankyou for your concern. Nobody knows what to say to me and so don't say much. I do appreciate it

In response to: Re: Eating disorder

CherryBombSenior Contributor17 Feb 2016, 10:27 pm AEDT

Re: Eating disorder

Hi @quietscreams,

Thanks for the update. I hope that the new revelation can start the process of healing. It might be tough, things may rear up the surface - something things get worse before they get better - but it can be part of recovery.

It's amazing how people get through circumstances that they never imagined they would. I went through a trying time with a family member a few years back. Everyone also said I was strong, but like you it was just getting on day by day, and surviving. Sometimes that's what we got to do. Take it day by day, one step at a time, but take moments throughout the day to stop, pause and nurture yourself (even if its just a cup of tea or just letting the sun warm your face).

That said, I also see that sometimes it can be beneficial to let yourself go and cry - those emotions exist for reason. So its important that you allow yourself space (when you're ready) to sit with them.

CherryBomb

In response to: Eating disorder

quietscreamsSenior Contributor17 Feb 2016, 11:14 pm AEDT

Re: Eating disorder

CherryBomb, only us who go through something like this, know what it's like. No words can describe it. I hope things are better for you now. I bet you will never forget it, nor will I ever forget.
You are right, things coming to the surface can make things take a step backwards. But at least it's surfacing. The saying "the truth will set you free" is actually true. Even though we don't know the truth, prifessionals do. That's a start. I believe it's even been hidden from professionals because of all the disruptions. Somebody finally took the time and truthfully cared for my daughter. It was enough for my daughter to open up.
As far as my feelings, I switch them off around her but I let them out elsewhere. We are meant to cry - tears have a natural anti depressant in them.
I only see a few friends because of this. My circle has become fewer but they are the ones who I trust. I can be myself. They accept me and my situation. They care for my daughter.
I take each day as it comes but at one stage it was taking each hour as it comes. So I'm counting my blessings and hoping for continued improvements.
Thanks again.

In response to: Re: Eating disorder

ShimmerSenior Contributor28 June 2016, 4:41 pm AEST

Re: Eating disorder

Hi @quietscreams

Just thought I'd let you know that we're having a Topic Tuesday discussion tonight from 7-9pm here about supporting a loved one's recovery from disordered eating. Our special guest will be from Eating Disorders Victoria.

Love to "see" you there if you're interested!

Shimmer

1 - 10 of 20

1 2