New and not coping

I feel like I’m going off the deap end

i have complex ptsd and can act impulsively and be a bit self sabotaging at times too

these last few weeks I have been really struggling to control my emotions and my temper. I have had conflict with my boss, my co workers , left work early, yelled at my mother in law and generally been a pain in the ass to be around. I wake up with this feeling like I just want to punch a wall. I’ve never punched a wall in my life!

There’s been quite a few big things that have been hard for me to priceee . Different responsibilities at work, moving to a new seat at work, new colleagues at work, even the ‘streee’ it.booking a holiday makes me anxious and sends me in to a spiral of ‘can we afford it’ and if we can’t does this mean we will be homeless on the streets. I’m always worried about th consequences of my actions at work as well ....

my psychologist nearly dumped me three weeks ago because I haven’t been making enough progress and I keep stabbbng myself in the foot. It makes me feel like a failure and like I will never be able to be helped. Sometimes it’s like I’m wrapped up so tightly in my own pain, that it’s safe and it’s all I know.