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Just so exhausted

show_me_grayContributor14 July 2018, 6:05 am AEST

Just so exhausted

I think I have finally scrapped the bottom of the barrel of any energy reserves I had left, both mentally and emotionally. I am just so tired, I have finally lost it all, rock bottom feels so cold, dark and lonely.

I have lost jobs, I have lost ALL of my friends, I have lost 99% of my family, and now I have lost my wife. I am trembling in fear and shock that I will soon lose my son too, my house will be gone and I dont see a future for me where I will ever be happy. My best friend, life partner, confidant, mother of my child and the only one that has stuck by my side and propped me back up, has finally been worn down to the point she has nothing left to give....i took it all and she can no longer be that for me anymore.

I dont know how to do this without her.....I have cried myself to sleep for weeks, I wake up angry and determind only to be deflated again by the end of the day. Why did I have to let this happen, why do I have to be this way and why do I never notice what is happening until its too late?

I have no more energy for this...

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In response to: Just so exhausted

show_me_grayContributor14 July 2018, 6:52 pm AEST

Re: Just so exhausted

And as the night rolls on I can feel the darkness creeping up on me ever so slowly, but surely....and the cycle will continue!

I know its my mind playing this sick twisted game on itself, yet I feel so powerless to stop it from playing, over and over again. Nothing has changed from a mere 4 hours ago, yet the fear and dread still continues to haunt me day after day.

I want off of this ride, I demand a refund please, Iam not happy with the services rendered......and so it goes

In response to: Re: Just so exhausted

Unknown userMember16 July 2018, 6:12 pm AEST

Re: Just so exhausted

Hi @show_me_gray 🙂

I'm Bella, I understand your pain, & your loss, we all have our own personal experience, when you take it down to the basic. Are you interested in getting some of your pent up emotions out, without going into a personal place inside, where it builds up, & takes you down too low? I find/found that writing, as in Poetry, to be a healing way of releasing what ever, & it helps a little. If this sounds like something that you may wont to try, then there is a, Writing Thread, for release, & healing. There is also, The Worry Room, this is a Thread, where people go & write down what ever is worrying them, then they just leave it there, & try not to carry the weight of it around.

Just 2 suggestions for you.

Thinking of you, with sincere care!

Bella xo 🙂

In response to: Re: Just so exhausted

AppleblossomSenior Contributor17 July 2018, 4:39 pm AEST

Re: Just so exhausted

@show_me_gray Try and make the best decisions for long term for you and your boy. Feelings are sure to be all over the place at this time. Let them come and go. I was a blubbering mess for 20 years. ironic lol .. Glad to say that finished about 8 years ago.

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