How do you do this?

@where_to

Hi and welcome it is fine to start your own thread so don’t worry about that.

It seems like you have a lot going on in your head at the moment so I can see why you are feeling how you are. I struggle with depression and I have done for most of my life I feel Similar to what you have said about my problems being so small when other’s have so much going on but just remember that you shouldn’t feel like that how you feel is real for you. I hope that makes sense 😊

Thank you @Ant7 for your reply. Strangely enough, simply knowing that someone has taken the time to read through the post and then reply to it is soothing. I am sorry you have been struggling with depression, too. I know how awful it can be at times and I sincerely hope that you will or have already found ways that allow you to cope with it better. Isn't it weird how we feel like we have to have "reasons" to feel depressed? Like we have to have gone through loads of bad stuff in order to justify a mental disorder? I mean, we do know by now that much of it can be strongly affected by genetics and there is little we can do about our biological set-up (except for exercising as much as we can, trying to stick to a healthy diet, building up a supportive social network - but all of those are factors that are oftentimes impaired when we struggle with mental disorders, right).. it's so silly we beat ourselves up over that and yet we seem to do that so much.. I hope you have already made a bit more progress in your journey of accepting what you can't change and learning to handle the aspects well which you might be exert a bit of influence over 🙂

@where_to Those are such kind and thoughtful words thank you.

For me when things are going bad and getting on top of me I try to focus on the positives (and there are plenty of them) but it is not always easy and sometimes my mind gets the better of me. Do you have any things that you can try that might help? 😊

You're welcome, @Ant7, thank you, too!

I find it difficult to figure out what might help me.. the problem is that I usually do lots of sport and it always makes me feel better quite quickly, even though it might not last for very long, getting out of the dark for a very little while can make such a difference already! But I am quite certain that coming up with all these plans for tomorrow and then not being able to put them into practise tomorrow might make things worse than they already are, as I tend to beat myself up for not doing what I know would be good for me then.. Do you know what I mean? It's like, I know I should try to see a Doc and get treatment, but then I wouldn't manage to go through the struggle of making appointments and all while being depressed, and when I'm in one of these extremely good moods, I can't see the need for it anymore - things change so quickly for me, but unfortunately it's always right from one extreme into the next.. I don't know if my words are making sense to anyone outside of my head, I'm sorry.. What do you usually do, if I may ask? Is it usually the same thing?

@where_to I try to look at the good things in my life when I break things down the negative things are so much smaller than the good things when I really think about them. Also like you I find exercise helps. I Mountain bike and surf and hike. But I understand what you’re saying about feeling like you have let your self down if you don’t do what you have planned. I think it’s important to not beat your self up with plans don’t work out and just revise and plan again. I know easily said not so easy to do lol

😊

@Ant7- you mountainbike and hike and surf? That sounds great! I bike a lot, too, and we oftentimes go bouldering which has got a kind of meditative element to it that helps me a lot. So does Yoga. It's great to hear that you're so active - I hate how talking about mental illness always focusses on the negative aspects so much! When in fact it's still cool people with proper interests - at least at times and we must just keep in mind that the passions and desires and interests will always only vanish temporarily before they will spark back up! 🙂 Are you seeing anyone about your condition? Or do you deal with it yourself? How about opening up to people about it? I reckon that can be such a scary part, especially since I haven't figured most of it out myself either. Talking to someone about it makes me feel like I need to explain things and respond to their answeres, but I do not (yet) have the answers to so many questions..

@where_to Lol I do yoga to mainly because my wife likes it. This sounds worse than it is when I spoke to my wife about my depression she dismisses it.

Her family has a lot of issues and I don’t think she wants to deal with it with me. So I just manage it myself 😊

@Ant7wow that does sound tough, indeed! I am amazed by how you seem to deal so well with it - I am not sure whether I would be able to cope with such reply as easily as you do, I guess once I would have decided I need to speak about it with someone and that person closes up, I would get very upset. I am happy you do not! 🙂

On the other hand, there communities like this one which seem to be very supportive, too, right? Maybe it's a good thing then to get stuff of one's mind here, so that you can return back to "normal" in your daily life once it's passed and you won't start to put yourself in too much of a "sick" mentality which might make it more difficult to get back to normal once you're ready if people still act super sensitive around you all the time I guess..

but then again, I've simply got no clue, lol

@where_to I am lucky my depression comes and goes and most of the time it is not so bad. I was lucky I found the forum when I was low and it has been very supportive and helpful 😊

I am so upset.

This is not working for me.

I read a discussion this morning for hours which was about abuse and I could relate to so many topics and I was so deeply touched by so many things people were saying! Then I started replying but my message became very long and I had written several pages already without having replied to even half of the things that I felt needed someone to devote their time to! I also started worrying about whether some of the things I said which intended to be helpful might actually be too much or triggering for someone. And then I doubted that anyone wannted to hear any of it in the first place. Now I have had this half-written message in my drafts which is very long but not finished but my thoughts are racing at such a quick pace that I cannot properly catch any of them in order to finish what I had written.

I don't know what's up with me. I am so full of so many emotions and they change so quickly and I cannot concentrate enough to engage in a conversation with anyone properly, even though all I want to do is join in somewhere and be in human contact. Be okay for a bit.

I don't even dare replying to anyone cause I can see how my thoughts go too quickly, they jump too much in between topics, and I do not feel like I am being myself so I will not ask for anyone to put up with me right now, I will just post this under my other post silently, just to get it off my mind. Just to get it out. So maybe my head will slow down, maybe the waves will become still and calm at some point again. Eventually..