Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

I think i struggle to know what emotion I am feeling. So in the end it becomes anger at the world and myself. An overwhelming sense of 'Why bother"

How can you move through and deal with this when most of the time I don't know what I'm feeling. And that in itself becomes another stressor.

There’s a big difference between disliking unpleasant emotions, but nevertheless accepting that they are inevitable part of life and allowing them to run their course, versus experiencing unpleasant emotions and trying to rid ourselves of the feeling. Although the strategy of avoiding things that feel unpleasant can work in some contexts like avoiding the harsh sun on a hot day, applying this strategy of avoidance to our emotions tends to backfire. That is, the more we fear, avoid, or struggle with distress, the bigger it gets.

What avoidance strategies do you notice in yourself? Does it surprise you to hear that avoiding or fighting against distress actually tends to make it worse?

Often when we feel like we move from 0 - 10 in terms of emotional intensity, it can be hard to pause and take a moment to notice what's happening and to choose how we react. I really like your suggestion @MoonGal of acknowleding the emotion and gently asking, how is this serving me?

I find when distressed ( having a trauma history) that it is sadness that hits me first but it quickly turns to anger, if my needs are unmet at this point, I'd quickly and react from rage. It was terrifying; confusing and I did not know who I was anymore after a year of reaching this intense level each time as I was in a period of chronic stress that was unrelieved in anyway I tried. Looking back I was anxious everyday and it compounded with my complex ptsd, that I'd only known and been diagnosed for not even a year. I was told for 2 decades it was depression, I knew how to manage that, but not this new me doagnosed with complex ptsd. That took on a whole new level of trauma symptoms and issues popping up without any warning, so i felt completely out of control within my mind and my body's reactions.

I avoid most situations that could have the potential to heighten my emotions.

@Former-Member I always want to run away disappear - because I csnt cope. When there is too much overwhelming stuff going on in my head that is the first thing I want to do. I know it’s not right but it’s like a default it’s automatic.

I know avoidance doesn't work. I know those feelings are just sitting in the background, waiting to attack me again. But when highly distressed I don'y know what to do. When highly distressed my internal dialog gets darker and darker and SI thoughts start to enter.