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What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

CannonSaltSenior Contributor22 Jan 2016, 3:06 pm AEDT

What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

When I have been in the grip of self-destructive urges to injure myself, I have talked myself out of it by speaking very harshly to myself - calling myself a baby, a coward, over-dramatic, etc. etc. etc. It's my understanding that saying that kind of thing to someone else (also the classic, 'snap out of it') is completely inappropriate - but redirecting self-disgust at the self-destructive urges has historically been what helps me, when no amount of cute kitten photos has been able to.

I'm beginning to think that depression just means you've got to do everything 'normal' people do (sorry, @NikNik , I know you've just lead a discussion about 'normal'...) but with a millstone around your neck. Sometimes I'm able to tone it down to 'and what would self-harm accomplish?' or 'that won't actually help things'. I don't really know what else to say, to me or to someone else - and I feel woefully underprepared. Don't mind me, ruminating on something that is unlikely to happen. What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

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In response to: What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor05 Feb 2016, 8:55 pm AEDT

Re: What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

I think that is wht the health professionals are yet to learn.

Mods, I dont mean to be presumptuous, but SH is not a behaviour detached from the general psychology of the person. If it is occurring it is core in some way unique to their life narrative.

In response to: Re: What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

NikNikSenior Contributor05 Feb 2016, 9:05 pm AEDT

Re: What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

Hi there, for clarification, as noted, the conversation is very constructive, insightful and beneficial. We don’t want the context of any of the posts in this thread to change whatsoever, so I apologise if that’s how the supernova's message (which was written in consultation with me) was interpreted.

However, we are asking that people remove/edit/change the reference to the specific method of harm. One suggestion we made was to remove the method and replace it with ‘self harm’.

We understand the importance of this conversation, hence why we were trying to work with you all to edit your posts, rather than removing them.

We have a very good understanding of self harm and the connection it has in mental health, which is why we'd prefer to move this conversation back on track.
Thanks,
Nik

In response to: Re: What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor05 Feb 2016, 9:10 pm AEDT

Re: What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

Thank you @NikNik I do appreciate the ideas and values behind this forum.

It just seems that a lot of counsellors out there dont really seem to know how to deal with SH. In my experience and in the experience of some of the posters, not just on this thread.

In response to: What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

CannonSaltSenior Contributor06 Feb 2016, 5:43 pm AEDT

Re: What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

Thanks everyone for your interest in this thread. I am staying with a friend for a few days and am posting from my shoe phone, so I will have to have a think about how I can rework some of my previous posts in this thread. I had hoped that by putting it in this section that that would signal the heaviness of the topic.
It can be hard to admit to self harm. It undermines our credibility elsewhere in life. There can be ramifications to disclosing, too. Like if you don't get specific enough, and whoever freaks out. When I was seeing my ex psych, I found the urges overwhelming because he was convinced that bashing me over the head with his religion would save me. It felt like I was drowning. Everything i said that he didnt like was evidence of madness to him. How was I supposed to tell him that he was making me worse?
@MoonGal , which episode of Xena was that? I once read a comic where a girl faced a tiger in the same way. I still like to picture me turning a tiger into a kitten by calming myself. The litany against fear helps, too.

In response to: Re: What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

MoonGalSenior Contributor07 Feb 2016, 10:39 am AEDT

Re: What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

@CannonSalt - Re the Xena episode Q. I have done a bit of reasearch and I wonder if I have not mis remembered the episode, mixed it up a bit with the Ged-on-Ice scene from Wizard of Earthsea - because the only reference i can find is this one in a page where a Xena fan has aggregated the "Dark Xena/Good Xena' scene's the one called DREAMWORKER (03/103) appears to match most of my recall about what I saw - but has a different ending... She doesn't embrace the dark-self - "Xena grabbed Dark Xena and threw her through the door, escaping from her dreamscape passage". I still remember crying for days after seeing this, I think it brought up the battle for me, with the darkness inside me.

I like the turning a tiger into a kitten as a mind practice. Great visual.

In response to: Re: What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

MoonGalSenior Contributor07 Feb 2016, 11:00 am AEDT

Re: What's a healthier way to talk about self-destructive impulses?

I have just bought the Complete set of Xena Princess Warrior on DVD (as a reward for getting up and exercising regularly). Maybe I will find the scene I referred to somewhere after season 3 in the 5925 minutes of immersion into Xena and Gabrielle's world. 🙂

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