Bipolar

Hi @ROC,

Welcome to the forums, i don't have bipolar but i do understand depression

Hope you find some understanding and comeraderie here! (i'm sure you will!)

LJ

I have Bipolar Type 1 so experience more manic episodes than depressive. It's funny how people think mania is fun (hypomania is where the fun is), because being manic for me was horrible. I became aggressive, suffered delusions, insomnia and severe paranoia. The excessive spending and increased sex drive caused major drama in my life and was incredibly destructive. My debt is still being managed to this day.

My speech would be affected - I would usually stutter because my mouth couldn't keep up with my brain. At my worst I attempted suicide which only happened during manic times and not depressive times.

Some of my meds made me worse and I developed severe psychosis. I'm lucky enough to be off all medication now as I treat my bipolar through exercise, creative therapy and supplements. All under my doctors care of course.

Regardless of where you fall on the Bipolar spectrum, everyone has their own experiences with this illness as it is a mood disorder which is impacted by our own personalities and emotions.

Hi there Roc,

First thing you need to know is that you are NOT alone.

I have been officially and correctly diagnosed with bipolar for 19 years now. Wow that makes me feel old, I'm not! In my late teens and early twenties I would pretty much experience depression and really high manic episodes on a one to one ratio. But there was an ugly pattern, manic and loving it but destroying soo much of the good in my life without any knowledge. My manic episodes usually lasted only up to a fortnight. Behaviour and actions with no awareness of consequences. However, every manic episode was cruelly followed by soul destroying bouts of depression, but when I say bouts I am talking about months and months and months. Then I had the confusion of mixed states and rapid cycling.

Today I know what you are saying, depression is where my mood seems to stay and without those manic episodes I used to love being manic whilst experiencing it but hate after. I think most of us in the bipolar community love our highs and miss our highs when we sit in the darkness of our depression.

My illness has been very well treated for the last 9years. Pills. great doc and ECT is my saving grace when I start falling to far and fast. I have got my life back on track, got married, been travelling the world but depression always lurks. I still experience rapid cycling, so sometimes my greed for a manic episode is slightly fulfilled but maybe for a day or half a day.

From the people I have met over the years, most with bipolar do suffer more from depression. There are some whereby this is not the case but I think you will find that whether you are depressed or manic both states are highly desstructive.

I miss being manic at times but I am one of the most appreciative persons out there because my illness is now being managed. I dont want either episodes I want to take responsibility of my illness, which I have and i want an awesome life to live & I can embrace.

Do not desire illness, strive for wellness. Do whatever you have to do to take control. Try as many docs as it takes to find the right one, try and test all those bloody pills out there and then when you find the rights one(S) giive them a chance by persevering til you fid the right dose and combination. Seek other options - ETC, mindfulness, hypnotism etc etc Do what it takes and dont look back. Your are not alone bt you must be strong and you must take charge.

GOODLUCK

Cheers SBH

Hi ter,

Welcome to the SANE Australia forum. You have indeed did a good thing by joining the forum grp. Here we could read different people's issues and problems but under the same umbrella mental disorder or anytgh that relates to it. I am suffering from Bipolar since 2010. Since my first diagnosis, I would say that my entire life was shaken and troubled. It causes so much problems in relationships, career, our daily routine and etc. People tend to look at us different and some even break their relationships with us. As a frequent visitor to the hospital, I would say that any mental disorder issues are complicated and rather imposible to be treated like fever, cold or even an accident fracture. Let me share with you my very recent issue of the depressive stage of my bipolar.

It started in early April and continues to the early June. Within these months I was not able to eat, sleep, or even focus on my studies. Everything became hay wire. I seeked the help of my psychiatrist but she blamed me for not taking my medicines. She even tried a new medicine on me but that was even worst as I could not wake up at all from the bed. Three days I suffered with the new medication and finally I decided to put a stop to it. My appetite gradually improved, I started to move around my house and do some house work. Body gets tired but I woke up and took my regular meals with extra supplements. On the 1 st of June I drove to a park nearby to jog but I was only able to walk few rounds. That was good enough. Today again I went out and did the same usual rounds and felt better.

I know I have to fight it by myself. Medication itself is just not enough but we have to do some physical exercise. I spoke to friends who are still there for me and it was really a relieve. To stay at home and worry about what has happend to us is not going to lead anywhere. Family members, friends and doctors will only give advice but its all on us freak out and break it. Its only a week now, but I feel much better than before. Definetly we would like to live happily like others so just think living for ourself and move on with our life.

I wish my experience with bipolar and how I overcome it would somehow help you a bit. I pray to God for your recovery and for all those around the world who are suffering like us. May God bless all of you.

Hi @ROC

Definaytley know where your coming from.

after finding these forums I think I went from Bipola to Bi popular there are so many of us.

I to have more down episodes than ups.

It can be hard sometimes .

I explain it to non biploras as" I dont get up at 2 in the morning and clean the house . I wake up at 2 in the morning and cry over how messy the house is "

Welcome I have found some really good thoughts written in the experinces here ..

I have had bipolar disorder for 8 years and can totally relate to this post. I have more depression than mania and have to take an antidepressant as well as an antipsychotic to manage my symptoms. I had my manic episode only after being put on a common antidepressant. It is often a balancing act to get my medications right so I can live well. I have had to be diligent in seeing my psychiatrist and being self aware. Finding the right psychiatrist who you can relate to and talk to can take time but I believe it is essential for all of us with this mood disorder.