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My son (24) has schizophrenia

My son (24) has schizophrenia

This is my first post but i am desperate. My son J. (24) has been very unwell for years and diagnosed with all sorts of disorders (C-PTSC, OCD, severe Anxiety, eating disorder, etc) but it he has completely deteriorated last year and recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia. he has become very violent, abusive, obsessive compulsive, messy and unhygenic, etc the list could go on for ever... I have to live in fear every day waiting for the next episode to happen (usually on a daily basis). it is not safe for my other 2 children to live with us so we have to keep them apart which is even more heart breaking and very difficult to manage (my daughter is meant to be doing her HSC this year, is struggling hugely to focus and sleep, she also suffers from depression).

J. goes completely 'nuts' when hearing car noise, aeroplanes, machine noise as sensory overload seems to be the prevelant symtom and noise triggers most episodes. living in the city under the flight path is horrendous for him so we have to move to the country and leave the other kids behind. J. did so well at school and Uni, all his potential and future is lost and often i dont see any hope. The pain and exhaustion i am feeling is beyond words !!!! he refuses medical intervention (and meds) as previous doctor visits and hospital stays were more traumatic than were of any help. i am in so much despair seeing him deteriorate and losing his sanity on a regular basis (he talks and walks like a complete 'drunk', behaves totally irrational and violent) he has terrible sleep and constantly sais he feels like he is dying. the cries a lot out of despair and pain, he does not enjoy anything, seems like a 'vegetable', has no friends.

J. has too much anxiety to see another doctor, it is a vicious circle we dont seem to come out of. i had to call an ambulance because he was getting so bad. When they came he suddenly pretended to be 'normal' and they did not take him. he sais if he has to go to a public hospital it would be the end of him due to more trauma (he had a very traumatic childhood therefore i can not bring myself to commiting him to a public hospital involutarily as it would add to all his traumas so we are stuck) i am waiting for him to come to the point that he voluntarily goes to a private clinic but he is adoment he will not do that.

often i just want to curl up in bed and never wake up. the other 2 kids are the only reason i am still here. it is too much to cope with and all my friends have deserted me. i am too exhausted to make new friends or do anything for myself. i just try and get through each day but so often feel like giving up. i am very scared of the future.

my heart goes out to everyone who cares for a mentally ill person, especially to mothers because i blieve they suffer the most watching their loved one! there is so little help out there and i wish we could all get together and talk, cry, exchange experiences, laugh a little. but i feel we are all very lonely, battling by ourselves, feeling helpless against something we can't control. it is heart breaking !! we just need a glimpse of hope and encouragement to get strenght to keep going...

219 replies

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In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Barbara, firstly you are an amazing mum with a wonderful heart and I truly understand what you are going through being a mum of a 23 son with sz, I have walked in your shoes and know exactly what you are talking about. Having seen my son handcuffed to a hospital bed before going to the ambulance, I seen four security guards tackle my son to the ground for his own safety, I've seen my son throw things across the table at psychiatrists sand I have also copped a barrage of verbal abuse daily but also held my son while he was in the fetal position crying and asking me to put him down, they are just a few experiences I have had. I want you to know I know where your at. I strongly advise you to get your son to hospital he is not well he has a mental illness, and he needs professional help and proper medication. Because that's what I did.
I tell you why , in 2015 my son had anxiety, haulinations paranoia was talking in his own language that didn't make sense, he had massive anxiety and agrophobia didn't leave the house his room for a whole year. And schizophrenia. Plus kept having seizures and showing aggression.
I had my own suicidal thoughts dealing with the pain of it all and started having anxiety attacks, basically had a complete breakdown.
This is how we live now, my son takes a needle once a month that stops all of his iradical thoughts, medication for epilepsy that stops his seizures, he now goes to work 5 days a week pushing around a mower, he is now happy enough he will never be the same ultimate athlete and very intellectual person that he used to be which I still have sadness about. But he leads a close to normal life, he has a girlfriend, he rarely goes out and sleeps a lot and I still need to prompt him to do things and he lives at home. But I am stoked nobody has any idea of the hell we have lived through.
My son said to me "mum i never liked going to the hospital I hated it ,but I'm so glad that you made me otherwise I would have never have gotten better. If it wasn't for you and dad I'd probably be dead. I'm always gonna listen to your advice. "
My son has had a couple of relapses and as soon as we notice the signs ( that we have learnt) we take him straight to our local mental health emergency hospital. He thanks us everytime we get back home after balancing out again.
I still worry about his future and I am still learning about sz but choose to live in the present.
He rufuses to see psychiatrists but he now comes to us when he feels anxious or paranoid.
Please consider my advise and I promise you that your life will get better, it was the absolutely the most devastating night of my life admitting my son to hospital the first time and my husband and I held each other in the corridor and both just balled our eyes out, sheer despair, relief and hope for the future.
It was the best decision we ever made.
It can be court ordered for your son to go to hospital if you want it to be in someone else's hands.
I wish you the very best of luck for your future. I send you all my love and blessings.

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@Barbara just thinking about you and how you are coping today. You are not alone, keep messaging. My thoughts are with you.

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Dear @Gemima

thank you so much for your post, your advise, sharing your story !! i have not been on the forum for ages, no time, as my life is fully consumed by my ill son. but it is good to know there are others in similar situation and any advise from other carers is so valuable! gosh it am impressed how well your son is doing - work, girlfriend and all, i can not imagine my son ever reaching that stage....

i have not had a chance to update my story (actually i dont know how to do that on this forum)

.... this is the update... he is back in hospital as i am writing this. i had to tell his therapist that his thoughts are preoccupied with ending his life as he sees no future for himself, feeling hopeless, and delusional which makes it alll unbearable for him, all he wants is have a 'normal life' like all of his old friends (which he does not see anymore) in the meantime he agreed to taking anit psychotics, they tried a few but HIs delusions were not getting any better (he was meds compliant, thanks to his wonderful case worker and mental health team, we could not do without them) so they had to section him again as an involuntary patient. the hospital is much less traumatic this time around and he actually does not mind being there. they have changed medication to the 'last resort' one, strongest available on the market. still early days but he is still suicidal and delusional/ obsessive, though changed his eating habits from severely fanatical healthy to craving sweets and junk. so i am just waiting how much weight he is going to put on. and very very tired all the time, no energy or motivation. we are still taking each day as it comes, still heart break for us, still a roller-coast ride, still feeling hopeless and tremendous grief losing the extremely talented and intelligent person we raised. now its just a matter of getting him to survive and giving him hope and being there for him. it is very exhausting for me and i often have a break down and so much pain in my heart, but live must go on i suppose.

thanks again and all the best to you, keep in touch!!

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

HI @Pamina

thank you for asking, i dont know how to update my story on this forum, but as in my reply to @Gemima i am having a break at the moment as my son is back in hospital involuntary. i felt so bad at the beginning for 'dobbing him in' to his therapist by saying he is suicidal and completely delusional but now i am relieved he is in good hands and safe. i am still very worried about his future but then again who knows what will happen... as long as we try to encourage him to live and see hope he should still have a life worth living. though he has not left the house for years now, which is sooo sad for me, he has not social interaction apart from myself. humans are social beings and cutting himself off from everyone, everything breaks my heart. he is just so anxious, fearful, depressed and paranoid. none of the meds he they have given him so far have relieved these symptoms. he desperately would like a partner/ girlfriend but it can not happen being at home all day every day. i would love him to do something with his life but can not make it happen or force him. it is a very difficult task and requires tremendous love, patience and constant effort, i have to do all his shopping, house keeping, cooking, i am completely exhausted physically and emotionally !!!! thats all i can say for the moment....

thanks again everyone for contributing and all the best @Zam for your studies, you are soo inspirational !!!

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

hello @Barbara, @Gemima, @Former-Member, @Grasshopper3, sending you hugs my friends

HI @Pamina, @Zam xx

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@babara

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@Barbara,just checking in on you , I just wrote this almighty message to you and it wouldn't send then it just disappeared not sure whether you got it or not.
I'm so glad you made the decision to send your son to hospital. I know how hard that would have been.
I am worried about your health
Now while he is in hospital , go to
The doctor ask for a mental health care plan for your self . Find a good phsychologist and go tell him her all your fears worries and despairs in your world 🌎
You need to do this please
Download an app on your phone of meditation and put headphones in your ears and learn the art of meditation start at 5 minutes daily without fail. A breathing one is the best.
While your son is in the safest place that he can be allow time for yourself . Crazy right??
Something that you haven't done for ages.
I would say get stuffed I have to much to do and worry about BUT this is the most important thing for you to learn. Otherwise you will end up like I did in the emergency room having an emotional and mental breakdown, promise me you will do this.

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@Barbara our son had the munchies for sweet food to it's the medication that encouraged that. Our son got up to 110kgs once the medication sorts itself his diet will slowly get better his mental health is your priority!

Do you know any of your sons old friends? We talked to all of Our sons friends (rugby boys and School friends) when he went to hospital we encouraged them to visit and treat him like normal (we just said he had mental health concerns ) and that their visits would be very important to his recovery. The boys and girls were great our son had a constant line of visitors and these kids were non judgemental and young people are more tolerant and understanding these days.
Before going to hospital
Our son would say I wish I was like my friends to , like yours is saying .
Even if you think of just one friend that could visit him when he is up to it would be so valuable.

I know exactly the heartache you are feeling and how vulnerable you feel and the hopelessness you may be feeling. That's why you need to seek help for you and your health. I know your a fighter and that you would knock over the Rock ( Dwaine Johnson) if you needed to to fight for your son. You are the role model ! You've got this!!

When our son came out of hospital we needed to give him direction for his day.
Making decisions is very hard for someone with sz or anxiety .
He felt more at ease with this , initially the most basic of tasks we wrote goals for him on the white board eg have shower brush teeth play guitar etc

Barbara think of what activities used to be your sons favourites , we started with fishing , slowly for very short spurts . We also gave him reassurance, praise and encouragement to achieve small tasks 5 minutes and we would leave to come straight home. He was so anxious and scared at first then very slowly he grew confident, now he goes fishing by himself or with his dad or a mate regularly.
Sz need down time so fishing is perfect .



Playing the guitar which our son utubed and taught himself, this gave him goals to achieve a real sense of achievement.

Wow just bringing back memories from where he was to where he is now


Try to start thinking positive and imagine your son in a positive place and capable, this is what I did it all does take time but worth trying.
I remember being in the biggest hole and despair that my son was never gonna change but I was determined to see him improve , love has got him through.

You have the love in your heart to give so much, give it to yourself in bucket loads the more , the more you give to yourself the more energy you'll have for everyone else

Keep strong 💪 your not alone xx

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

For the last five years we have been dealing with my sons illness , he started symptoms at 22 with depression then one day he had an episode that i was blind sided on what this illness is all about , both my husband and I took a 12 week course to educate ourselves on this illness and it helped tremendously, I highly recommend if you haven't done so , then our life took another spin, my son was riding his bike one early morning and he had an accident, he hit his head and had some head trauma this accident took him into full blown schizophrenia dr say he had a phycosis breakdown, took him to a mental health hospital and he was treated with tons of meds my son walks around like a zombie, He does not want to take the meds , and he is unbareable. We have been dealing with this for five years , he has had several episodes and has ended up in the hospital several times , he can no longer return to my house because CPS , will take my daughter away from me if I don't protect her my hands are now tide, I now have to find him a place to live on his on with his illness. The system with mental illness sucks no one can help. I do not wish this nightmare to anyone , mothers who are dealing with this , If you are a Christian I have found that if you read a verse or two from the Bible , it really helps me to stay sain for my son. I hope I can stay healthy to help him with this illness as we continue with the chapters ahead of us to come , blessing.

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@Barbara @Pamina
Topic Tuesday special events tab on now
Caring for men who do not care for themselves'
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