My son (24) has schizophrenia

Many many thanks for your replies!

@ivana your insights and the amputee analagy are very helpful. I know that is the way I "should" think but its just so difficult after so long and so many disappointments. My parents have considered Respite Care but never felt it offered a longer term, sustainable solution due to its temporary nature. Do you have a view on that?

@CherryBomb you've identified the core of the issue which is my mother's inability to exercise tough love with him and condition his staying at home with milestones/rules like regularly seeing a psychiatrist, contributing financially, being in regular touch with his sister, etc. She has a heart of gold and I love her so much and although this isn't her fault by any means, she hasn't helped get him better. I wonder whether threatenening to pull his financial/emotional support unless he moves out and seeks qualified help would be the right move?

hi @StillLoveHim,

sorry to hear about your brother and everything your family and yourself have gone through with schizophrenia. I was told awhile back that when you have schizophrenia, it doesnt just effect you but it also effects loved ones. I dont think that could be more true. I imagine looking after a loved one while suffering with this illness would be just as hard as actually suffering with it personally, maybe even harder.

so much respect to you and your family.

You wrote some things that your brother does and i can relate to pretty much all of that. If your brother is like me im guessing he doesnt like talking about what is going on with him and will take his frustration out on you and your parents.. if so, i wouldnt take it personally at all. trust me on that..

With schizophrenia ome of the worst symptoms is no energy, no motivation and certainly no intrest in being social. that could explain why your brother isnt out making friends, refuses to cook, clean and so on.. its a horrible side effect that stops you from taking care of yourself. When your mind is flooded with other things, you just dont even think or care to do basic things to look after yourself. plus the no motivation part plays into that also.

You mentioned his sleep pattern. I had almost the same type of sleep pattern when i was off medication. i couldnt sleep at night because thats when everything was at its worst (hearing things, seeing things). I used to have headphone son most of the time to block out voices. listening to music with headphones in can be some relief.. maybe that could explain a bit with your brother..

When in hospital i also talked to many others with Schizophrenia and they would often do the same thing, so it seems a pretty common coping mechanism.

With him seeking help himself, as hard as it will be to hear, but he wont seek help for himself because im sure he believes nothing is wrong with him. Im sure its frustrating and easy to get annoyed with him and just be so baffled by him not wanting to help himself but with schizophrenia it changes ones reality and what you see with him, could be the complete opposite of what he see's..

I wrote in a post before about not giving a loved one the option to go in hospital themselves because that just wont work out most of the time because to them, they are not sick.

Medication also has some really bad side effects and trust me on this, they can feel so much worse compared to the reasons you are on medication in the first place, so most people stop taking them..

I went off medication so many times i lost count..

anyway this is turning into a pretty long post, so i will end it hear. if you ever wanna talk or whatever, i reply as soon as i can often..

in the mean time i would try to be a little easier on your brother, im sure he isnt going out of his way to hurt you or your parnets in anyway. just gotta remember he is sick..

i hope this post helps in anyay

hello

Thank you for responding to this family weighed down with concerns and feeling that they are struggling all alone.

Just to hear firsthand what the illness does and feels like is priceless.

please keep in touch on this thread or even start one of your own. Your thoughts are invaluable to all of us affected by this illness.

Sorry @Former-Member,I don't know anyone that has used the service personally in relation to Schizophrenia.

Have you heard also of Mind Australia?They claim to also offer respite services but I'm unaware of which areas and have never dealt with them personally.

Theres also Silverchain who provide in home carers which I have had personal dealings with but not in the area of Schizophrenia.

They are usually for elderly people however younger people that are disabled or have Dementia have used their services too.They do make mention on their website about mental illnesses such as Schizophrenia but whether they are willing to provide substantial help or simply do "awareness raising",I don't know.

Below are some links of organisations that state they offer respite care but,again,I havnt dealt with them and don't know if this also applies to families with a loved one with Schizophrenia.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help.

http://www.unitingcommunities.org/find-a-service/services/take-five/

http://www.cncs.org.au

https://mifsa.org.au/index.php/our-services/programs/respite

http://carers-sa.asn.au/respite

https://www.mindaustralia.org.au/need-help/mind-services-in-south-australia.html

https://www.silverchain.org.au/our-services/support-for-family-and-carers/mental-health/

@Zam thank you for your kind thoughts and interest. I understand from reading this and some of your other posts that involuntary hospitalization is what really enabled you to turn the corner. It may be that we have to resort to that, again. I'd like to try pushing him into a supported accomodation arrangement outside the house first and see how it goes. Even a marginal improvement at this stage would be enough to consider it a success.

You really need to be congratulated for how far you've come. I'm sure your family is very proud. Best of luck with your studies.

Hello @Grasshopper3,

Thank you for pointing that out, as far as I can see the title reads "My son (24) has schizophrenia" like you noticed, I will look into it this morning and try to fix the glitch

Lunar 🙂

hello @Grasshopper3

the latest posts are about a brother however if you click on page 1 that will take you back to the original post in the thread.

The very first post was from a lady about her son 24 with schizophrenia.

You might like to read, follow a new thread under Carers Forum umbrella, called living with schizophrenia first hand.

Hope that helps it can be very confusing on here at times especially when we are feeling overwhelmed ourselves.

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@Matosh wrote:
@Former-Member
Thanks, I'm getting the hang of it now...
Wow I have spent hours on this forum - looks like I will be here for a long time too
🌷

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hello Matosh

you are in the right place, just to be listened to and heard can make so much difference.

I find reading other's experiences more help than what medical people tell me. They simply brush over my voice of anguish with yes sadly there is nothing that you can do. He will only get better when he takes medication

thinking of all of you