Unknown userMember
how long can i hold on?
hello,
i’m struggling. i’m trying to cope, but it’s so hard and every little step costs so much energy and then i get exhausted and don’t know how to go on. so tired.
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how long can i hold on?
83 replies
In response to: how long can i hold on?
Unknown userMember
Re: how long can i hold on?
Thank you @Snowie just numbing the pain tonight. I always wonder if the worst was in the past, why does it hurt so much now? I also hate to be dependent on health professionals, I never had anyone to help me before 😞
In response to: Re: how long can i hold on?
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: how long can i hold on?
@Former-MemberI can understand wondering if the worst is yet to come. I will admit that I ask myself that too. I am not sure of your storey and I am not prying at all. I am not sure why it hurts so much now, but can relate to that.
I always think of the health professionals I have helping me as sort of like at a boxing match. You get people into your corner who will help you improve (I don't like the words get better) and help you through those hard times. I have my gp, psychologist and psychiatrsit in my corner. It is only in the last 11 months that my Mental Illness has impacted my life to the point where I need these professionals in my corner.
Don't think of it as dependent on them, try to think of them in your corner.
I hope that makes sense!!
In response to: how long can i hold on?
Unknown userMember
Re: how long can i hold on?
@Snowie like you I have them in my corner, but I feel more dependent than when I was a little child. I was told before that they’re trying to keep me alive. They’re in my corner, but I feel so incredibly alone. I have probably just forgot how alone I felt when I was young. Therapy is putting myself upside down and I wonder who I am? I find it incredibly difficult to understand who i am. We’re working on the trauma but who would I have been without it and who am I now?
In response to: how long can i hold on?
Unknown userMember
Re: how long can i hold on?
Thank you @Former-Member i am so glad you’re here
In response to: how long can i hold on?
Unknown userMember
Re: how long can i hold on?
I had an identity and a future plan before I got hit by flashback, now I don’t have either.
In response to: how long can i hold on?
Unknown userMember
Re: how long can i hold on?
....yep. know that really well... With trauma it is messy...
In response to: how long can i hold on?
Unknown userMember
Re: how long can i hold on?
It’s a MYSTERY 😂🤭😶😱😤😫🤔💀
In response to: Re: how long can i hold on?
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: how long can i hold on?
Sorry for the delay @Former-Member, had to feed the kids.
I can understand that lonely feeling.
"who would I have been without it and who am I now" you said. Can relate to this. I often think how my life would be different if I didn't suffer from childhood trauma.
In response to: how long can i hold on?
Unknown userMember
Re: how long can i hold on?
@Snowie you fed your kids. I assume that’s a positive? Would you be where you are without your trauma?
I wonder what choices I would have made. I have chosen the traditional path, career, family, kids... would I have chosen to be on a different path, different career, different gender, sexuality... my kids are grown up now and I know I love the man I’m with, as a friend, my best friend for all these years, I’ve grown apart from the kids, distances myself, or detached. Disconnected from my family of origin. Disconnected from almost everyone from my past.
But who would I have been?
I wonder what choices I would have made. I have chosen the traditional path, career, family, kids... would I have chosen to be on a different path, different career, different gender, sexuality... my kids are grown up now and I know I love the man I’m with, as a friend, my best friend for all these years, I’ve grown apart from the kids, distances myself, or detached. Disconnected from my family of origin. Disconnected from almost everyone from my past.
But who would I have been?
In response to: Re: how long can i hold on?
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: how long can i hold on?
@Former-Member
Where would I be without my trauma? Hmmmm I don't know. I have been lucky in life, have a supportive Hubby, 2 children, a career, yet here I am now, just trying to make it through each day, not being able to work for the last 11 months. I do know that growing up would have been different. I don't think I would have taken the risks I did when I was younger.
I guess perhaps the question is who do I want to become?
