Forum Etiquette (Netiquette)

Firstly @Sophia1 thank you for your response - it is exactly this kind of response that is needed to debate many of the points already brought up from a variety of different angles - so your response is not only appropritate but welcomed

As you said - we all come from different angles, backgrounds, and with different styles when addressing issues or posting in the forums. What we are intending to do here is reach some kind of consensus on what we would like and not like to see as becoming common etiquette on the forum. Some of thepoints raised will not resonate will all but may with only some whereas some things such as using CAPITALS represent shouting are more common across the internet in general - it is about what we as a collective can agree or disagree on as a whole.

One of the reasons that the point about reading some back posts before posting was brought up was from a previous thread where some people felt 'left out' when they posted in an existing conversation with a new 'issue' or 'topic'. This can alientate that person if the conversation has been going for some time and their post does niot 'fit with' the discussion. It can also end the conversation abruptly if members do not feel they can continue the conversation. I understand completely what you are referring to here @Sophia1 - and yes it is a tricky one from whatever viewpoint you take - inevitably someone is going to feel like they are not being heard.

That is a great point @Jacques and I think one that we often do not think about as it has become second nature to many of us - definitely something to be pushed I feel among members

Well said, @Sophia1.

I too am reluctant to agree to many more 'rules' aside from the guidelines in place. Part of my reasoning for this is that the guidelines themselves are already at a virtually unreadable length. In reality, I believe many people don't read guidelines, especially if they read like essays. That's clearly not the case with what @Zoe7 is proposing, but I think the main benefit of it will be now, when we are reading about it's possible introduction. Rather than later when they may be in place but few people read them. For me they are a bit like those 'terms and conditions' you find on websites everywhere that require a 'tick' before you can enter a site. How many people actually read those things?

Again, no intention here to offend, just getting some thoughts off my chest too. Bear in mind, I am very much anti- 'rules' in general. In fact, at one time in my life I considered myself an anarchist. Not in the terrorist sense at all. More in the sense that people find their own way through life in a moral way without so many rules. These days I am more moderate than that and see the need for some rule of law in various situations. But I think it should be kept to a minimum.

Still, I agree that civility and politeness between members is a fabulous ideal!

That is the idea @Mazarita - that we are all involved in the 'construction' of what we would like to see on the forums so it is not something that simply 'pops up' in the form of more community guidelines. This happened with 'Self-care and Conflict' under the community guidelines and I suspect not many people would even know that section is there let-alone read it.

spot on @Jacques

I have been meaning to ask for some time now what does "irl" mean?

"wtg" was explained when I asked...have forgotten answer though...

when at work had to ask what "lol" meant..

this is the generation talking I realise...

again we are on a forum that reaches out across this world to all different...ages...languages..cultures...

something used automatically by some as their way of interacting in their groups yet can also come across as excluding some without intending to...

@Sophia1 'irl' means in real life.

I agree that using these can exclude some - and I do that without thinking myself at times - I will be more aware when posting in future

@Sophia1 I think this would be a good place to also discuss appropriate language...

• Use appropriate language – swearing or inappropriate language may be seen as offensive.

I personally find swearing offensive. I understand that it is the 'normal' everyday language for some people - but it seems to have a greater imoact when the words are written on a page. It can also be seen as 'hostile' language in certain situations.

Swearing and inappropriate language can also be a deterrent for people to enter a conversation or reply to a post. This is possibly where we can distinguish also between a positive or negative post - I would see swearing as using negativity in a post. I personally am more reluctant to reply to someone that is communicating using inappropriate or offensive words. this could be something also looked at by our community managers @NikNik - what words should be added to the 'banned' list.

trying to condense my thoughts....nigh impossible for me laugh

forums must encourage those who struggle to speak up...those who like myself live in a foggy state of mind and struggle with this on a day to day basis in the real world..

so many of the different symptoms of mental unwellness do not allow people to be organised or have rational...orderly thinking..

we must encourage more the people who have come in search of help...who cannot even find words...express themselves...who have noone in their life who listens to them...

reading back over the pages is a very daunting experience ....no offence @Zoe7..I understand where you are coming from...for me I do not have the time.. also cannot retain the information with my present state of health...or could where my health was when I first landed here...

there is a pattern of conversation between those who use the forum more frequently...perhaps have their smart phones (I believe I am using the correct technology here) where they check in and are so used to quickly responding to social media...can read back and respond...comes naturally to them

I am not in that age group...I know that I am not alone also...again I think of carers who have such if any little free time..they cannot use such precious time to be reading previous posts and checking profiles....their time is worth gold...they need it for their self care...

the emphasis must be more on the forum.. not the people who use it having to adapt to an everchanging...evergrowing forum...

for this forum to continue to meet the needs of such unique...talented people...on the lived experience side and those already over-burdened loving souls...the forum has to continue to understand that all of us approach things in our own unique ways...

we so need to feel that we have a right to be here....in our way...

I have now stopped myself responding to new people...I do not have the energy or time to read their profile previous whatever it is called ...activity?

If I have to start reading back pages which I honestly have tried...I become frazzled and more confused..have started to reply and then after passionately writing a response have saved it...gone back to read again the posts ...only to find three or more pages...I so want to reply but cannot..this leaves me feeling so very isolated and alone...I know this is my own issue...

I strongly believe that people like myself who are so very sensitive...who do feel so very alone when surrounded by many...who have felt for so long that they do not fit..who struggling to accept self and like self can so easily feel excluded..

perhaps I am just too deep and am ranting about my own feelings attempting to state that others feel the same way..