Yes, Sakurapuss, I agree - the ED experience, where you turn up and then are left sitting alone with a security guard on you for an insultingly-long period of time (during which you realise that they consider you to be 'nothing' and don't give a darn how you are) sets the tone for the whole hospitalisation. The ED experience is extremely upsetting (that is, it just makes things worse) and if you express any distress (taking into consideration that you are already usually very distressed when you arrive at ED) then you get beaten to a pulp by security. The whole system is shocking because of the mental health act. ALL wards should be open and we should have the same rights as anyone else. People with mental illnesses can make informed decisions like anyone else but are sometimes incapacitated (and we have this in common with all other people too - no human being is always 'together' and in a position to make an informed decision; nevertheless, all human beings should have the right to exercise a substantial amount of autonomony over their lives especially if they have broken no law). All human beings are 'mentally disordered' at times but taking their rights away at these times does not help them (and all the credible research shows this).
Nb. Lifeline are very good overall, and there are other phone counselling lines, and online counselling sites etc etc, and support workers are good for when you are having a 'strong' day (I have learned that support workers tend to talk down to us and are NOT good to connect with [mostly] when you are having a bad day/time). And God is always there for you - christians and the church may be imperfect, and even do very bad things sometimes, but don't 'throw the baby out with the bathwater'. God is always there for you. Find a good church for you that is on fire for God is my advice. Don't forget the power of prayer, at the very least.
ps. Go easy on yourself. Make the best life possible under the circumstances. Volunteer work is enjoyable. If you are feeling terrible, push through somehow - lifeline can be good and will help you to solve your problems and will suggest self-nurturing techniques. call them as much as you want.
here endeth the sermon!
