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TerrySenior Contributor
It's my experience that the families of people with mental illnesses tend not to be very helpful to their family members with MI so I thought I would start this blog so that people can vent and compare experiences so that they know that they are not alone and get tips for dealing with and coping with their families and seeing how others do the same. I will start off the blog: MY FAMILY REALLY ANNOYS ME AND I HARDLY SEE THEM. There you go. Your turn.
In response to: Family matters
StuContributor
In response to: Family matters
StuContributor
In response to: Re: Family matters
mummyx2Casual Contributor
In response to: Family matters
TerrySenior Contributor
People sometimes can't face what they've done - that might be the case with your father.
Forgiving him is for YOU, not for him, and you should do it as soon as you can. good luck and god bless.
In response to: Family matters
espritSenior Contributor
In response to: Family matters
SaharaSenior Contributor
Hi @Terry,
thanks so much for starting this blog; I only just came across it now.
I would say that, yes, my family more or less caused me to suffer from depression and anxiety, only they have no idea of the contribution that they made! If I tried to tell them that their actions have caused me grief, then they would not believe me for a second. Hence, I have never told them.
I came from a 'typical' middle-class family. Both of my parents worked and there were 3 of us siblings. We always had everything we needed in a material sense and we went on family holidays, to restaurants, to the movies, etc, etc. We must have looked pretty good - from the outside.
My poor mother suffered from probable post-natal depression and extreme anxiety. She was socially phobic, very angry, had incomprehensible mood swings and was down-right terrifying at times. My Dad simply enabled her to get away with her behavior and hence she never sought treatment and never improved. She lived her entire life in complete denial and my Dad and my siblings just towed the line.
My sister, while successful in her career and married for 20 years, is completely emotionally shut down. She spends her life sipping champagne and talking about the weather! You can not get one, mature, adult, insightful comment from her. Again, she married a man who enables her, just as my Mother married my Dad. My sister's husband is completely emotionally retarded as well. He is always at work, asleep or drunk.
My brother has anxiety which is off the scale! He is always in a foul mood - possibly 90% of the time he is yelling or pacing about the house complaining. As far as I know, he has never sought help and is totally unaware of how he appears to others. I have witnessed him bully my Dad and be verbally abusive towards him. My Dad just lets it happen, as it's what he was used to receiving from my Mother for all those years, anyway! My Dad probably just feels at home having someone yell at him. 
I am the youngest in the family and being a somewhat sensitive soul, I seemed to have absorbed and internalized all the tension!
I manage to keep my distance from my family, without ever explaining why and without ever 'offending' them. I have realized that they are too oblivious to everything to pick up on my absences or interpret my absences as anything significant. I plan never to confront them with anything.
I have 'missed' the last 2 Christmases by having other 'unavoidable' events on. I have missed the last 7 Easters! Now that I am married I feel like I have a perfect excuse to get out of everything... saying that my husband just went and made other plans...
In response to: Family matters
Flower88Senior Contributor
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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