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I feel very shaken up and uncomfortable. i am not sure what to believe ether. part of me says that this is just my head but then another quite strong part of me is saying that my treatment team have been lying to me this whole time and that they are actually all plotting to destroy me. i think they have also maybe put something inside me like a chip to control me and they are also using the meds to make me think they are trying to help when actually they arent. and also they have a demon watching me cause it wont go away and also there are people watching me and i feel like they are going to attack me it is hard to explain. but what should i do is this just my head? or is it not and should i try and get away from all of them so they cant find me? i am really scared right now and i dont know what to do or who to talk to or um it is hard to explain but i just really need some advice. thanks if you read this.
My mood was rising so I had the strength to confront the co worker. At 1105am I felt a feeling of relief like a weight was pulled off my mind. I have slowly been rising and trying to regulate my slowly increasing high.
I have started having allot of ideas and have trying to keep myind at bay. I'm enjoying this happy content feeling so have called close friends and informed my wife about my last 5 days and the fact I'm starting to rise, and to watch for my early warning signs.
I will keep you posted if my mood becomes to elevated, luckily I have some insight how to recognise signs and unfortunately I'm rocking allot of the high signs ATM
In response to: Re: Please tell me the truth.
Eden1919Senior Contributor
Re: Please tell me the truth.
Today has been not good i well now i am sure there are no other options left i saw my psychologist and as much as they are trying i dont think they can help me anymore and neither can my psychiatrist no one can and i cant seem to make it stop myself no matter how i try and i just there is nothing left to do but try and start getting things in order for when i leave. my psychologist called the crisis team about me today and they wanted to see me but i told them not to come there is nothing they can do either there is just nothing i am sorry.
In response to: Re: Please tell me the truth.
PitzSenior Contributor
Re: Please tell me the truth.
Hang in there you will get through it, remember persistents beats resistance. Every minute you try to get better the closer you are to becoming better. Kind regards
In response to: Re: Please tell me the truth.
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Please tell me the truth.
@Pitz hope todays a better day for you too.
With tagging, when you type in the @ symbol in reply (not quick reply) names will pop up in a box if you click on those itll tag them for you.
@Eden1919 hoping your ok today too, was chatting on the other thread but you dropped out so hoping you got some sleep....
In response to: Re: Please tell me the truth.
Eden1919Senior Contributor
Re: Please tell me the truth.
@outlander Sorry about just leaving like that i was feeling really bad and had to go. i tossed and turned all night with nightmares i saw my psychiatrist today and after seeing him and my psycholosigt yesterday i am now completely 100000% sure that my only option is being dead i just need to get it over and done with.
In response to: Re: Please tell me the truth.
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Please tell me the truth.
@Eden1919 Why do you say that? What happened today that is making you think this way?
In response to: Re: Please tell me the truth.
Unknown userMember
Re: Please tell me the truth.
Hi @Eden1919,
I am concerned about you following your recent post. I am going to send you an email to check in with you.
Thank you for supporting @Eden1919 during this challenging time @outlander
In response to: Re: Please tell me the truth.
Eden1919Senior Contributor
Re: Please tell me the truth.
@outlander It hasnt just been today it has been a while but today just made everything a lot more certain. i just hate this i shouldnt even be bothering all of you with this i wish i could just go and do it now and be done with it so i could never bother anyonne again or waste anyones time. there is nothing anyone can do to stop this it is just the way things have to be i have to go there is nothing left and it is how it should have been all along i have ruined everything again and i should never have been born i am a horrible person i just i cant this is just how it has to be.
In response to: Re: Please tell me the truth.
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Please tell me the truth.
@Eden1919 i dont think your a horrible person just someone going through a crappy time.
Perhaps abreak from therapy would be good? Go experience the world-travel try different jobs. Find something else you like to do and enjoy. .
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