Please tell me the truth.

@outlander I am trying. if i am honest though i dont know how much longer i can take this i feel horrible and i seem to be out of options.

I feel awful today nothing is working therapy isnt working meds arent working lifestyle changes arent working none of my coping skills are working the hospital made things worse and i honestly dont think anyone or anything can help me i honestly feel that my only option left is to be gone. i cant do this anymore i really cant i dont feel like myself my head isnt mine and i am scared and tired and agitated constantly i am doing everything i can but nothing is working i am a hopeless case and there is nothing anyone can do i need to make it stop it has to stop. i really am at the end of my rope.

Sometimes we meet people on the road of life ... and we walk a bit of the way together ...

we are walking with you @Eden1919 Feeling themselves can be a bottomless pit ... I cried for a long time .. I could not believe the buckets of tears kept coming and coming ... but eventually they do subside.

Take Care of Yourself Eden ... remember your name ... tell yourself the eden things that matter to you.

@outlander is a gorgeous brave soul. She is young like you. Sometimes oldies can help and sometimes not.

@outlander@Appleblossom I have been trying so hard for so long i just dont see an end to it all. i try to i really do but i just cant see it at least not where i am still alive. i cant really change my supports as there are not many i can afford where i live plus it is not their fault it is mine i am just impossible. i am supposed to tell someone when i am feeling bad but then all that happens is i get taken to that awful disgusting hospital and treated like some creature from hell. and all that does is make things worse so so so much worse. i want to go to bed but i cant move from where i am i am stuck because as soon as i move the demons follow me and they scare me. i just want to make it all stop i dont know what to do i cant do this anymore i really cant.

I really dont believe in hopeless cases @Eden1919 and I have seen a lot of tough situations.

I am encouraging my son to doctor shop. It does not solve everything, but different connections with people matter. Some click easier than others.

Eden, Some of your thinking is overwhelmed with negatives that may not be totally true. I am pretty sure that if you have made life style changes that are healthy, that you are on the right path. Your mind may just be tricking you into not seeing clearly atm. Making a sweeping statement that "nothing is working" is the unhelpful part.

I believe in solving to root causes more than just talking about feelings.

Mental health services are stretched and @Eden1919 you are wise to know your budget. Asking you to tell them when you feel bad .. is only part of the solution ... its a bit like telling a 10 year old boy not to take the lollies. He wont be able to avoid them ... lollies will be jumping around in his mind ... its a way of saying they care and to keep communicating and that is good.

There all sorts of approaches to mental illness ... are there any online approaches you have seen that you like?

Today has not gone well....... i cant anymore..... i just cant.....

I'm sorry to hear you've not had a good day @Eden1919

@Sans911 thank you..... I am supposed to see my psychologist tomorrow well later today now technically anyway but i dont think that it will help. nothing will i have been trying my whole life and nothing has worked i cant win there is no good outcome here..... i need to make it stop soon anyway. they always told me that it would be like this they warned me so many times but i was silly i didnt listen i should have done what they said before now i am not allowed to think to breathe to be me if there still is a me that is. i should do what they say now only there are so many of them and they all say different things i am not going to tell anyone this time it is not safe i need to go back to be with the angels they are waiting.