Support Group in Sydney

Hi @ami welcome! Thank you for taking the time to share your story. It sounds like you have had some real challenges with family over the years, and I can imagine being estranged and living in another country would be so difficult. I hope you find the Forums to be like family in a way - offering a safe and welcoming space for you to be your authentic yourself, and to connect with others who are walking through similar circumstances. While we an an anonymous online community, I know for many it can bring ease to the lonliness.

I am just wanting to clarify, what type of face-to-face support group are you looking for? Mental health support groups often tend to focus on either the lived experience or the carers perspective - much like these forums. Though it is common for people to fall into both categories. There are also options out there for people seeking general social support, friendship, or community connection. Could you articulate a bit more what are your goals in seeking support?

To get the ball rolling with some suggestions, I am wondering have you heard of GROW? They offer support groups across Sydney from both the lived experiene and carers perspectives. Please have a look at their website and let us know if this is the type of thing you're interested in. Another organisation I often suggest is ARAFMI, they focus on supporting friends and family of those living with mental illness. Just a reminder to everyone that we aim to be an anonymous community so please be mindful not to disclose the specific times/locations of any groups you may be attending.

I know many of the members here find great relief in realising they are not alone in their experience. I hope you will continue to reach out to find the support you deserve.

Take care,
Mosaic.

Thanks for the prompt reply. I'm hoping to connect with other people who are in a similar situation as I, people who have been ostrasized from their families, through no fault of their own. I do get very depressed about this situation and it would really help to know that I am not alone. I do not know of anyone who has been 'terminated' from their entire family. My sister and niece both have serious mental issues, which is what I attribute the ostrasization to. There does not seem to be such a group in Australia, and I have searched! There are support groups in many other countries for people that are estranged from family. I called Beyond Blue and they suggested starting my own. (Not very helpful) It seems bizarre that there are support groups for anything and everything, even things that seem rather trivial, but nothing for such a horrible situation as the one that I am in. I guess for now I just hope that someone reads my posts and can offer some help. It is very hard to deal with, especially at this time of year.

Hi Lisa Jane,

Thank you for your comment. I empathise with you, and it is consoling to hear from you that I am not the onlyl person estranged from all family. LIving in a regional area, with little support must be difficult too. Have you thought of getting a referral from GP to talk to a Psychologist? If there is one anywhere near you. I am going to do this in January. I hope there is some help there for you, I really do.

It is so hard, when everyone has family that support them no matter what! I have always been very caring of my family and could never work out why my sister's feelings seemed to gradually turn from a loving older sister to resetment and dislike. My niece left living with her Mum over a year ago and I saw a post on facebook from her step-Dad (the main reason for my sister's change in feelings towards me) that she was heading to Brisbane. I live in Sydney and was shocked that I hadn't even been told that she was coming to Australia, and that she wasn't coming to stay with me. I made contact with her and she came to stay for a weekend. On the first day here she asked if she could live with me. She told me how bad things were at home and I felt that she and I were on the same page and it was great to know I wasn't alone. She was very anti her mother, who emailed her daily. The first time they skyped, a week after her arrival in my home, my niece took the laptop into her room and closed the door. After a while, she yelled out for me to come and talk to her Mum. The video was switched off as my sister didn't want it on. When I asked why, she replied "I'm not going there with you." And she wouldn't talk to me, so I just walked out. This hosility continued for months, but finally she seemed able to cope with speaking with me. It's as though she felt that I had stolen her daughter away from her. Things went well with my niece, (we were very close) for about 5 months until I reunited with my on/off boyfriend. My niece got upset that I got back with him, and her behaviour started to become very weird. She started lying and telling me she just wanted to die. I would sometimes dread coming home, wondering what I would find. She had helf harmed herself badly since the age of 12 (6 years) and the time with me she hadn't done it. I started to worry that she would start doing this again. I messaged my sister to ask if we could talk, her reply "About what." My niece was due to return to NZ for a 1 week holiday and a month before she was due to go she casually said. "When I go back to NZ I won't be returning." I was really shocked and sad. As soon as she got to NZ our communication became less and less frequent. She wouldn't read my messages for days and the replies were ver distant and became impossible. I got one hysterical message about 6 weeks ago saying "I have completely lost my mind, please help me". Then she wouldn't answer her phone or reply to my many messages. After a few weeks, I messaged her that unfortunately I couldn't continue communicating with her until she moved away from her mother. She replied she was moving out. We talked once. She was very drunk and upset. She told me how bad it had been living at home. She apologised for her behaviour. We were due to skype about 2 weeks ago, but when I called her she was asleep (at 7.30pm) and hadn't set up skype. When I said that I had been trying to talk with her for 8 months and that it was somewhat frustrating the phone went dead. She wouldn't answer. I couldn't beleive it. I messaged her that if she wanted to stay in touch, that was great, but to stop mucking me around. She replied at 3 am (which woke me up) that her "phone fucked out." That was all she put, no apology, nothing. And I havn't heard from her since. No Happy Birthday message, no Christrmas message, nothing. Horrible!!

Anyway, that's my rant. Please feel free to talk about your family experience. I'm sure I could relate to it! It is the most heart breaking thing to be shut out from your entire family, especially when you have done nothing but love them. People with mental disorders are very hard to understand and sometimes I think they (my niece) play on it a bit. And they push away the people that really do care and really want to help and seem to gravitate towards the very people that have been a major cause for their unfortunate mental state.

What a beautiful version of a beautiful song – thank you for sharing @ami. I saw Marlon Williams play at a pub in Melbourne last year and was quite blown away.

I’m so sorry to hear about the situation with your family. It sounds like you’ve been very understanding with your niece and have been able to build a strong relationship. I feel hopeful that you will be able to reconnect with her when things get better for her. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to be so far away and unable to support her in the meantime.

Wishing you all the best with the psychologist in January. I hope it’s a good start to finding some support and connections.

If you’d like to join in some other conversations here on the Forums, some members are sharing their hopes for 2016 here and there is also the 365 project, where members mention things they’re grateful for. I understand if you don’t feel in the mood for that right now, but just letting you know.

Please keep posting @ami. There is always someone here to listen.

Thanks Acacia,I didn't actually mean to post Marlon Williams! I have no idea how he ended up here, but lucky you for getting to see him and hear that incredible voice! 🙂