@utopia
Hey luv … haha … if you’re watching that MaFS show you are in no position to judge 😛 I swore I wasn’t going to watch bachelor but I watched it on the weekend when I needed something brain numbing to do and have been watching it since … fortunately, I don’t go as far as yelling at the screen though. Haha so true – lots of idiots out there and yes, you do realise how normal you actually are, compared to a lot of these ones going onto reality shows. 5 mins of fave, hey?
Thanks luv, I do hope mum’s mental health improves. I don’t think she will come the same as she was before she started going downhill, as I do think there may be an onset of dementia, im not sure. That is my biggest concern at the moment, and how to deal with it long term. I guess in my naive world, I didn’t think mum would deteriorate more as things were going well. also, ive just put those thoughts out of my head – I haven’t wanted to think about it. But then I get a big slap in the face when something does happen. and I know I should prepare myself for things that may happen with mum but I don’t want to think about it because it makes it too real and scares me too much. We all have our coping strategies, sometimes healthy, sometimes not.
Yes, my sister made me some chicken cutlets, lamb cutlets, pasta and sauce. I think it was good for her too as it gave her a purpose. She is currently waiting on the disability pension so is in limbo at the moment.
Thanks luv, I was surprised that my uncle and aunty said the things they did. And no, unless I do things their way, I don’t feel as though they have my back. And that is something I have seen in the past. I was very emotional last night and I told them I cant just flick a switch and turn my emotions off. This is who I am – im watching my mum go downhill so of course it is going to affect my adversely – add to that my lack of sleep and exhaustion. From where they were sitting it is as though I should have been handling it better, and if it wasn’t for my depression, I would have been handling it better. That’s what they were saying luv. and I was offended they said that. I have done so much for mum, with battling my own demons at the same time, so for them to come out and say that wasn’t fair. In fact, ive had to work so much harder, mentally, to keep myself going as I care for mum and myself so for them to say because of my mental health issues im not coping is a crock of sh*t .. sorry luv, had to get that out.
Yes, my mum has an older brother but his wife is in a nursing home and my mum’s older sister has dementia – she still lives at home but has 5 adult children that care for her.
I have decided I need to be more resourceful and find out what I need to do. I told my sister that either she is in this for the long haul with me or nothing as I need support. I think she understands.
Sounds like you understand where I am coming from when it comes to hospital doctors. they irk me. they see a patient for 5 mins and start messing around with medications, not knowing their full history. I will go over their heads sometimes though and contact mum’s specialist to run it past him hehe … we are the ones that know our mums best and we know their history, and side effects when it comes to medications. It is very frustrating. I have a typed list of all of mum’s current medications and I have detailed the medications she cant take – seriously I couldn’t make it any simpler for them. the reason I am very weary when it comes to hospital doctors is because last year one of the docs at public hospital ceased one of mum’s medications abruptly (when it should have been done slowly)… she was discharged and ended up back in hospital 2 days later with heart palpitations (because the med was ceased suddenly) . since then, I no trust any of them! it’s a nightmare isn’t it? especially when you have to get to the point where you get p*ssed off cause they wont listen! Although, one compliment ive had from a few nurses is that they think I have a medical background or I am a nurse myself because of my knowledge. I tell them its cause I take care of all of mum’s medical stuff, so naturally im going to pick something up! Well you would hope I would anyway hehe
Aaw your mama was so young when she had you! youre 48 yeah? So she would have only been 18. My mama was married at 18. Had my sister at 25, my brother when she was 26 (he passed away in a car accident when he was 21) and me at 33. Do you have any brothers or sisters? My dad also passed away 15 years ago.
It is hard to see our mums as smaller versions of themselves, and it must be so hard for them, poor luvs. Life can be cruel sometimes cant it? we sometimes feel helpless which I hate even more.
Ooh awesome for your son – so glad he enjoyed his soccer training session. Such a mama you are – when your boy’s happy, you’re happy! 😊 did you play sports when you were at school? I used to play netball – oh I loved that sport. If it wasn’t for my rheumatoid arthritis I think I would still be playing it but its too harsh on my knees.
Oh sweets, im sorry that you had to cancel your psych appt. how often do you see them? It helps seeing them, yeah? Do you also do psychotherapy with your psych or is it predominantly management of your medication?
How’s your reading going? I wish I could get stuck into a good book. I don’t know what happens, I just don’t last hehe
Im not sure how much longer mama will be in hospital. Just day by day at this stage. I feel bad saying it, but I get respite when she’s not here. I also think I wont go tomorrow so she can rest and hopefully interact with some of the other people there. And have a break from me. I will go there on Friday though.
Tonight I just chilled on the sofa, watched bachelor in paradise and caught up on messages on sane, ooh and had some lasagne for dinner 😊 yummy yummy!
Sorry for the novel luv. I just get on a role sometimes ! but you’ve probably noticed that 😉
look forward to hearing from you
xxx
