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Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Struggling atm. Just want to chat, distract my mind. Mum has depression, recently discharged from mental health clinic. I can see she's not well but she internalises. We are usually so close but she just wants to be on her own, doesn't want to engage in much conversation. Perhaps I'm feeling sorry for myself as I miss our relationship. I can see that my depression and anxiety is increasing, which is making it harder to cope. Feeling alone tonight.

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In response to: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Re: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

@utopia

Yeah, support group was ok. I wasn’t sure at first and didn’t feel like opening up. I waited for everyone else to say their bit and then finally spoke about what has been going on for me. it was good actually so am glad I went. I nearly didn’t as I was so tired this morning. But managed to haul my a$$ out of bed hehe

That blood test sounds really interesting, I had a look online – had never heard of anything like it.

Bless my mum – apparently she went through half of her biscuits last night lol! I brought some more in for her today, I told her she has to ration them out otherwise she aint gonna have any left. I think one of the anti-psychotics she is on is increasing her appetite way too much. Poor luv seems to never be full. She wasn’t too bad today so I took her to the cafeteria for a bite to eat. It always seems to pick her up which is so nice to see.

I think she may be sleeping during the day, especially if she hasn’t been sleeping during the night. Vicious circle isn’t it? but when I got there this arvo I woke her up so she wasn’t sleeping too much. And then she stayed awake for the duration of my visit.

I understand what you are saying re: compliance with her medication. The plan is that on Monday she will be transferred to the public mental health facility. I will go with her and liaise with the psych’s. I am starting to doubt the whole dementia theory. I don’t know luv, there are a lot of unknowns. She was put on anti-psychotics when she had the UTI. Could her behaviours been because of the UTI? Did she need to be on anti-psychotics? Plus, they kept changing them which couldn’t have been good for her. Have they made her condition worse? I have all these questions floating around in my head. I did mention them to the psych today but he said at this stage, its best they don’t change the meds over the weekend. Once she is transferred on Monday, I will discuss this with the psych’s. I’m hoping mum will be ok there. She wasn’t too keen on it at first, but I talked her around saying she wont have to be there for a very long time but we need to get her meds right. Im praying that she has a private room – she kept going on about it today. She don’t do too well in shared rooms lol

And yes, you are right, she is free to go home when she wants. And she reminds me of that. Im surprised ive managed to keep her in. I think she may do all right if she came home. I do believe that a big part of her agitation is being in hospital. And I cant blame her. she has gone from being in her own home, having total control to losing all that control in hospital. It must be so hard for her. being restricted when she can eat, and having her fluids restricted (not that she is abiding by it lol!)

Im so disappointed for you luv re: your psychologist appt. the situation with you mum is a big thing for you atm and that is what he should have allowed you to focus on. It’s a big thing to have on your mind. Even if a person has a mental illness, if they are not in a depressive state at the time of making that decision, then I don’t see the issue there. Everyone has an opinion. I have a mental illness but if I was to make that decision and someone said “no, you have a mental illness, you cant make that decision” I’d definitely ark up about it. grrrrr

I would have been angry too if I was in your situation waiting at the hospital so long. Did you say anything to the staff while you were there? Hindsight is a great thing, ie practising mindfulness but when youre in the situation you just wanna knock someone’s block off ! but it does help the whole mindfulness thing. Actually, focusing on your breath is a good thing as slowing your breath down will help to calm you down and it also gives you something to focus on.

Aah, ive never heard of the 80/20 rule. But it is true, we can have a really good day but one thing goes wrong and our mind defaults to the negative thing that happened during the day instead of all the positive things that happened. Funny how we are wired like that hey??

Yesterday did take it out of you though luv, it was a long day and very draining emotionally.

And im so happy for you that you didn’t drink too *big hugs* yes it is a learned behaviour and it is your coping strategy to dull down the emotions we don’t want to feel. Lol I love what you said about chocolate not being your reward, its more of a staple by the sounds of it yeah? Hehe … I understand totally!!

Lol you make me laugh – you and your “ya da da da whatever” when your psychologist was talking. And you are entitled to be stubborn! It sounds like he didn’t really meet your expectations today luv and allow you to talk about what was most on your mind. So its understandable you felt the way you did. I hope your next session in 2 weeks is better for you sweets.

Oh no, is your son okay? Poor luv. good idea for chatting to the school re: OH&S … teaching them the correct techniques for manual handling. How did the discussion go today? Did he end up going to school? How is his back? Is he feeling a bit better?

Wow, you were up late! I hope you weren’t too tired today.

Ooh, how is your mum today?

I hadn’t planned on seeing mum today but she rang me this morning asking me if I could go in this afternoon. I couldn’t say no lol … but I did tell her I cant go tomorrow. I need to go on a freaking shopping expedition for her lol … she has given me a list of things she wants so I’ll do that for her. she’s so cute, she said “can you bring them all in for me to have a look at once you buy them?” and she rang me not long ago reminding me to go the shops for her!! cheeky cheeky.

Im trying to think what else has happened since I last messaged you. hrmmm not much really. Went to support group, and saw mum today. That’s about it really. I lead such an interesting life, don’t i? hehe

I couldn’t even be bothered putting the rubbish bins out for collection this week! Haha … it was our collection day today. Meh, not much rubbish anyway.

I think I’ll go and dry the dishes in the sink. Yup, I go off on a Friday night haha! And then get myself organised for tomorrow.

How are you feeling tonight? I hope you’re doing okay, and having a better day compared to the past 2 days you have had *big hugs*

Ok, tag, your turn to message haha!

Xxx

In response to: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Re: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Lol @Bella1978. Yes chocolate and in particular Mint Slice Biscuits are a staple of my diet - not a treat.
God both of us live pretty unexciting lives - if you don't mind me saying. Same old same old. Think it's all been the same r me for the past 4 years. No wonder my brain isn't working. I'm bored and boring.
Really strong winds tonight. The kind when the branches scratch at your bedroom windows - scary. I've been meaning to trim that branch back for 2 years. God I'm lazy.
Went to the movies tonight. Saw 'A Quiet Place' - the movie where the aliens will get them if they make a sound. I don't see horror movies as I'm easily scared. But glad I went to this one. If you can ignore the silly alien stuff - the suspense is brilliant as is the acting
Son home from school. Finally got him to have a hot shower just before lunch. He said it helped. But as soon as he bent forward to dry his legs, he felt and heard his back go 'pop'. So he had his first ever physiotherapy session today. That and the heat pack is helping with the pain and being able to move. Rang his soccer coach coz he won't be playing today. Wikl have to see how much flexibility etc he has by mext Wednesday before I decide if he can do training.
I called the school and spoke to the vice principal. I said I wasn't teachers to instruct students in how to lift and move objects safely and for the students to be supervised when doing it. I also said I think the school should purchase a specialised trolley or similar to help move the heavy and awkward band equipment from one end of the school to another. He said OH&S issue will be brought up at mext weeks staff meeting. He said it was a very important topic and thanked me for bringing it to his attention. Which was good I feel.
Now to your mum.
Lol. If I was her I would have raided the biscuits too. She may not be eating all of the hospital food. Or it's just not tasty. Isn't it amazing how a health facility - a hospital serves such crap food. Over soggy vegies etc. Plus some meds may increase appetite. I know some meds do increase weight. Especially a particular anti psychotic. Not allowed to say it's name here. But sometimes weight gain - so long as it's not too much - is preferable to having hallucinations etc.
Yes I guess it's hard to know if she was having psychotic symptoms or not. But the hospital staff at both hospitals seemed to think so.
I think the move on Monday will be good. And if they assess her properly and her her miod stabilises - hopefully she'll be able to return home a week later. Think you both would like that.
Maybe mention at the new hospital on Monday about the UTI and ask them to test for it again.
I just got a UTI - is it contagious through these forum posts? Lol. Haven't had one for over 10 years. Anyway, I'm drinking the special fizzy UTI drink. Not a bad taste. Don't mind it.
I'm so glad you pushed through and went to the support group. Not always easy to go to new groups, especially when tired and worn out. So pleased it went well. When is the next group? Will you go again?
Love how your mum is sending you on a big shopping trip but wants you ti show her it all before you take it home. Lol. This way she can approve of your choices. Lol. She is one smart strong cookie. Lol.
My boy is complaining that his back is real sore. But doesn't want to out the new heat patch on til tomorrow. I told him to put it on niw and tomorrow morning I'll get some more at the chemist. Have to go to the chemist anyway to get my bp taken. Gp wants it done every day for two weeks and written down. So I'll do it my way and do it every two to three days. Yes I am stubborn.
What items does mum want you to buy tomorrow?
My mum is such a bloody contradiction. Wants to go to Switzerland one day which will cost at least ten thousand dollars. But she's been freezing all day. She feels the cold badly. I said you have the money in the bank. Use it to keep warm. Crank up your heater all say and night to 24° if you need to. She said - 'oh, I was going to turn it up when your son came here after school. But with his back he wasn't at school and didn't come, so I didn't turn it up'.
Seriously. Then she whinges about how cold she is on each and every ph call. The savings are just sitting in the bank. If she doesn't pkan to be around in 10 years, (she's not planning on being here in 2 years) - just spend the bloody money and be warm.!!!!
Rant over.

In response to: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Re: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Think you might be in bed @Bella1978 so will say goodnight 😴

Goodnight to you as well @utopia 😴

In response to: Re: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Re: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

@utopia

Ooh, mint slice biccies … I love biscuits and chocolate together … ooh other combinations – ice cream and milo, yoghurt and milo, milo and milo!, biscuits dipped in yoghurt, cake dipped in yoghurt. As you can see I like my sweets ………… lol … I sound like such a glutton! Ice cream is a big weakness of mine to the point that I cant buy a tub of ice cream. Im okay with single ice creams, eg drumstick, maxibon, etc cause they are portion controlled. A tub of ice cream isn’t portion controlled. A tub of ice cream ends up being one portion for me *sigh* haha … so it has been banned from the house. I tend to buy things in portion sizes, much better. Although I still end up putting on weight … pffft!

Oooh, I ended up doing a load of washing tonight too – yup, exciting! Awesome that you went to the movies though – is the cinema close to you? I love going to the movies. And you went to a play last week I think, didn’t you? miss out and about the town! Good on you for getting out and about luv.

Ooh, I ate the sound of branches or plants knocking against the window, scares me – such a woos I am. Yes, get trimming that branch luv! otherwise you’ll keep hearing the noise against the window and it will continue to annoy you.

Ooh haven’t heard of that movie, is it new? So glad you enjoyed the movie. I enjoy true stories, comedies, dramas, documentaries. Of late when ive gone to the movies though ive just wanted to watch a comedy so I don’t have to think too much. The less I have to use my brain the better hehe

Aaaw, I really feel for your son. heat packs are so good at relieving pain aren’t they? How did he go at physio? I hope it helped him. Good on you for calling the school and voicing your concerns. and having a trolley to cart heavy items around is such a good idea … you’d actually think the school would have something like that in place hey? And im glad they will bring it up at the next staff meeting.

As for mum’s biccies, they keep them at the nurses station so when mum wants a couple she goes and asks for one, or she actually rings the bell and gets them to bring them to her haha … oh luv, she’s eating okay! We went to the cafeteria and she had a filo pastry thing and 2 x maxibon -she so hungry and she got a piece of vanilla slice and carrot cake to bring back to her room! When we got back to her room her dinner was waiting for her !!! I left before she ate any of it, im hoping she didn’t eat too much though! Seriously, one of these meds are making her ravenous. She does not usually eat that much! And the hospital food aint that tasty.

I am hoping the move on Monday will go well, and I am looking forward to having her back home. I know she wants to be home, and I don’t blame her. but I want to make sure she is in the best place mentally before that happens.

I understand that her private psych put her on anti-psychotics and at the hospital she is at now they have left her on them. I don’t know luv, just a gut feeling I have (and I could be wrong) but I do think putting her on the anti-psychotics while she had the urine infection probably wasn’t the best thing to do. That’s why I have my doubts re: psychosis and dementia. I could be totally wrong though, but just what is going through my head atm. And thanks for the tip re: asking them to do another UTI test. that is a very good idea. I was reading up online and it said that cranberry juice is very good at preventing UTI’s so me thinks me gonna get mama drinking cranberry juice! 😊

Haha, no way … you got a UTI?? Definitely contagious 😛 that is so random that you got one out of the blue like that! Is that ural that you’re drinking?

Yeah, am also glad I went to the group. I was hoping there would be other carers there that care for their mum that I could connect with but most of them were looking after the children and one man was carer for his wife. The group meets monthly, yeah I think I will go luv.

Get this, I got chatting to one of the ladies working at the pharmacy I get my meds at – I have been going there for over 10 years but hadn’t really ever struck up a conversation with her. she was carer for her mum too. her mum and sister didn’t get along so it was all on her shoulders like me. plus, her mum had mental health issues and was at the same hospital where mum is at now. We were swapping stories, and I was telling her the funny things mum has been doing, and not so funny!! Her mum passed away 6 years ago. But this lady was working, had 2 children of her own and caring for her mum. She is such a lovely lady and im glad we got chatting.

As for mum sending me shopping – she knows I’ll do it haha … im her lacky! Yeah, she not a silly lady that one … she wants some thongs, slippers (sheepskin of course!!!), gowns, undies, cardigans, pants and tops. Oh and I’ll pick up another 2 pairs of pj’s that I got ordered in for her. im so not wanting to go to the shops tomorrow being Saturday but I must brave them for mama! The things we do, hey??

Aaaw no, I hope your son has put the heat patch on. Can he use a heat pack? We have one with rice in it I think, I pop it in the microwave and omg, I love the smell of it when it comes out haha … everything involves food with me hey? 😊

Yes you are stubborn but it would be a hassle going to the chemist everyday to get your bp checked. Would have been good for your GP to lend you a bp machine from the surgery – some surgeries do that. I monitor mum’s bp from home so we have a bp machine.

Aaaw your mama is funny. She gotta keep herself warm! The fact that she wont use the heater but then says she is cold! Lol, bless her. but like you said, she has the money and no doubt receives a pension so yes, she should use that money to keep warm!

And I agree, if she has the money, she may as well spend it while she can. my mum is the opposite atm. Normally she’s pretty good – not one to buy lots of clothes, etc but atm she’s making up for it! aaah, mamas are funny. Does your boy go over to your mum’s on a regular basis? That would be so nice for them to spend the time together.

In response to: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Re: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

I think your mumma needs a treat while in hospital @Bella1978. Obviously the biscuits are a staple if her diet - not a treat - lol. So getting some new clothes is her treat. Can you treat yourself to a new jumper or hat or scarf? Something nice just for you.
It's late so I'll respond to your post tomorrow.
Sweet dreams for us all. Mums and daughters.

In response to: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Re: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Have a good day shopping @Bella1978.
Will write later.

In response to: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Re: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

@Bella1978. The movie came out a month or two ago. Just arrived at our local cinema. Our little town has a volunteer run cinema. We get great movies. A real selection to suit everyone. Not just the stuff Village or Hoytz shows. I love our little cinema. Open every Friday Saturday and Sunday. And during school holidays they run old kids movies on a Wednesday. Towns near us with much bigger populations don't have a cinema. So we're pretty lucky.
The physio helped a lot. No he doesn't want any more hot patches. Will use our heat pack ifneed be. Yes the sschool and all the band equipment. Next year there will no longer be a band. As no new students have taken up an instrument this year. My son wanted to do VCEMusic next year but ccan't because the music program will be shut down. We're both upset about this. We haven't officially been told yet, but all the parents know. Such a waste of all that talent. And we are the only high school in the whole shire.
It's better mum has a healthy appetite thsn the other way around.
Yes I hope Mondays move goes smoothly. I think it will be a good move. They'll be able to assess her quickly. I think she'll be home a lot quicker from that hospital. Just a positive feeling I have. Hope I'm right.
Can't wait to hear what she has to say about your shopping trip. Bet she'll be like me on Christmas morning. Rapt to see all the new things she has gotten. So make sure you fill me in when you have time. Tonight or tomorrow. No rush. I expect you'll be exhausted when you get home. I'd suggest a hot bath. But not after your uncle destroyed it. Lol. Maybe a nicewarm shower and then into your most comfortable pajamas. And relax in front of the tv. Think there's some good comedy on ABC2 tonight.
Isn't it amazing when you start chatting with someone you've seen for years - pharmacy lady. You have so much in common. Wow. Must have been very hard with children and full time job to also be the main carer.
My boy and I'll go and see mum tomorrow for mothers day. Have got her a cup saucer and bowl decorated with flamingoes (which she loves). Then she can use these special dishes to eat off. A treat. A treat to eat her staples off. Lol. Oh I'm funny. Ha ha. Silly sense of humor today.
I'm in a good mood today. Sun is shining. No clouds. Birds singing. Am listening to an old Gurrumul CD called Rrakala. I find his voice so soothing. He sounds like an angel. Maybe you could listen to a few songs on you tube. I'm so nicely chilled at the moment. Calm and peaceful.
Well I hope you've or will enjoy your shopping. Have a great day. Hugs for you and mum.

In response to: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Re: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

@utopia
Im procrastinating lol ... mum has already phoned me to make sure i go to the shops! It just dawned on me that it is going to be so busy cause of mothers day tomorrow 😭😭😭😭
So not impressed lol

In response to: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Re: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

@utopia
Im still procrastinating. .......

In response to: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

Re: Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

@Bella1978 💕💕💕
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