@utopia
Hey sweets, do you have some coping strategies that you can use when the depression starts up? I am glad you see your psychologist tomorrow and your psychiatrist on Friday. Having supports in place is so important.
Yep, when mum asks to come home I tell her she cant come home yet as she needs to get better and that the nurses are there to look after her. I explained to her that they need to do the blood tests and the ultrasound because of her kidneys and that we need to look after them. when she is in that frame of mind though, she wont budge. She says she is fine, she wants to go home and if she needs to come back for me to call an ambulance and take her back. There are times when she is quite paranoid, she thinks the meds are poison, she even told one of the nurses that she doesn’t like her, and another one to be quiet while the doctor is talking. These behaviours are not mum at all – she is one of the most lovely and gentle people you would ever come across. And yep, have explained to her why she needs to take her meds. It is so hard atm trying to get through to her sometimes. Its frustrating and scary because she needs to get these tests done, especially for her kidneys. They gave her a calming medication – once it took effect she was compliant and more herself. They wanted to put a gtn patch on her yesterday to reduce her blood pressure – both the doctor and I explained why she needed it – she wouldn’t have a bar of it though. And the more we try to convince her, the more aggravated she gets.
No, my sister hasn’t been to visit her luv. only me and my 2 uncles. I did ask mum if she wanted my sister to visit but she wasn’t keen on it. my sister can increase my mum’s anxiety. the less triggers she has, the better. And no, she is definitely not more likely to listen to my sister luv. its me that is the bad cop … and sometimes the good cop hehe
Actually, speaking about my sister – she came over today to help me with the housework. She turned around and said “you haven’t done anything” and “don’t you think its wrong that you leave it all for when I come over?” I told her yes, I did leave it for when she comes over as I needed her to help me – that was the whole idea of her coming – to help me with the housework! Gees, its not like I was sitting on my arse while she was helping, I was helping her do it!! I have been at the hospital practically everyday so I haven’t had the time nor energy to do any housework. I haven’t bothered as I couldn’t deal with it - all I have energy for atm is myself and mum. All I needed was her to help me with dishes in the sink, sweep the kitchen and dining room and help me do the washing. The house is tidy, I just needed some help with catching up on chores. She just doesn’t get it. I told her to leave as I wanted to be on my own. it always ends up like this when she says she will help me. I just don’t get it luv ☹ I told her I would gladly swap places with her, I’ll stay home and do the housework and she can go to the hospital everyday and see mum deteriorate and liaise with the medical doctors, psychiatrists, nurses and social workers.
Sorry luv, I don’t mean to rant and rave, just needed to vent about that.
What you doing this evening? You having a quiet night? Its 6pm here. Im quite comfy on my bed. Hmmm decisions decisions … what to do? It feels like the weekend cause of the public holiday today. Ooh, did I tell you picked up my mum’s wedding and engagement rings? Its so nice to have them fixed and wearing them. they look beautiful all cleaned up. oh, as for my hair – I didn’t colour it but I did wash it today – hey, it’s a start haha! Bachelor in paradise isn’t on tonight so nothing to watch *sigh*. I could just lay on my bed and be lazy. That be nice. Ooh did you make the shepherds pie from scratch? Mama loves shepherds pie! But I buy the ready made ones and pop them in the oven!
