Fragile

@Appleblossom That is really nice. You have a gentle way of relating to people. I am sure you have more friends than you realize.

I had 2 other converations on the train last night.

2 teens gf bf sat next to me and talk opened up, it was funny but not. They were talking about physical fights and violence against women, tho the 15 yo was a good fighter herself, her dad was in gaol. The young 17 yo said you cant trust anyone and asked me if I carried a kn-ife, he admitted that he did, so they got the inclusive but "weapons are not a good idea" talk from me. He got it about paranoia and fear and was hopeful. I wished him luck in his new apprenticeship. These were the kind of kids that were everywhere when I grew up. I thought it was cute that he asked me "if I carried" he was being very respectful, but I did not laugh at them as their reality was coherent and I did not think they were exaggerating. Somehow I was always different, but "accepted" in a very broad "church". I am grateful for the GOOD passing conversations when I was young and try and pay it forward.

Later 2 girls were chatting. Really pretty, fashionably dressed and knowing it. One was trying to talk the other into watching horror. She did not want to and was being teased, so I butted in and talked about "real horror". The horror girl had a quick mouth, smirked and asked me if I did not like being afraid, and told me mine was just an opinion, that she was a film student as if that excused all and very smart alecky. I could quip I had studied film, was happy to discuss genre or technical details, the girl being pressured, said the conversation was very "interesting". I hope I gave them both something to think about.

The change for me, was that huge new buzzword about being in the moment and my mouth was connected to my frontal lobe. I was owning my own authority and expertise. Even in teaching I had probably put up with too much, so it was good to be a bit blunt.

They gave me something to think about too. With pretty self assured cheeky girls I usually freeze with fear. My mouth dief did not work. I got over it with teaching, as I had a clear job to do and stayed committed to the role, but there is a NEW freedom in general socialising, to just be me.

SO 2 of the conversations were passing (with young people) and not building relationship, and one may contribute to ongoing friendship, but .... It also was good to reflect on conversations in 1-1 and with 3-1 2-1. It is hard to know how things will develop, but I am doing better in not being too worried about building relationship and just being.

So much of my early personal style and energy went in pleasing others. @TAB i really do have a positive sense of work, even when it is hard. I missed camraderie of work

If my son is settled maybe I will be able to work more next year. It was too hard with him wanting/needing to take over my students and we were stepping on each others toes, musically, like we just did in the kitchen.

I agree about things being too broad ... and possibility of betrayal ... a small loyal circle of friends would be lovely @TAB but it was the way the world has always been for me, last nights' train travel just a reminder ... about the social diversity in my city ... its not just about social skills ... modern human life is complicated, so its good to get back to animals sometimes.

Got a book called Primate Change ... ticks a few boxes for me ...

Like you @Appleblossom, I am trying to look at the world through new lenses. I think it’s really great that you had those conversations with the young ones, and that you are finding confidence and some curiosity rather than fear with the whole building relationships thing. Being in the moment probably is a helpful place to be 😄 (it’s taken me a very long time to learn that)

I have been going through a lot of 'how did I get to be this age and be ignorant of so much'. For me the relationships stuff was ok but not the fear of judgement and not being good enough to follow through with much in adult life. Over Easter I tried to not let those shame feelings rule my interactions and self talked myself to try to be in the moment. I also had a learning curve with one of mine I was away with. Part of that was maybe watching myself at his age. I think I was a bit like him at the same age. I watched my alcohol fueled one be so happy and talk to anyone regardless of age, gender culture etc. It was nice to see that when he uses alcohol he is very much a harmless and friendly drunk. It was not so nice to see him drunk in the family friendly setting we were in though :face_with_rolling_eyes:, it was a place where there was live music and it was at a winery but.....

just dropping by because your post made me smile and resonated with me 💜🤗

What a couple of interesting conversations @Appleblossom. What is great is that the young people were receptive to conversation and not interested in spending time on their phones. Do you think that general conversation is missing in today's day and age?

Love that you popped in @Teej

Easter and holidays can bring up so much expectation.

Hope there were some good moments for you and your family.

@outlander Hugs. I have had so many good interactions, and therefore fond feelings, with young people (including you Bella) I would never make it an oppostional generation thing.

@Ali11 Most of modern society has been wired to be reliant on technology. As I type I remember peering into a Telecom pit and I know the sound that modems used to make in the old exchanges. Yep had a Telecom bf. 2 old sciencey friends and I will be doing an arts impro thing next week. Ones a Chemist, the other Comp Engineer. We cant totally fight it, but people do have other needs. Tekkies and nerds are people too, so a lot of them especially the older ones, look after themselves with having good face to face time. They have learned that from good ole experience. I dont think of it as just young people. Most computer people limit time on gadgets for their own kids. Plenty of older peep are hooked up to phones when I am on the train. I dont have a phone, so often am looking around, unless my nose is in a book. Chances are greater that I will notice an opportunity to interact.

That's true @outlander. For some reason though, queues and travelling tend to encourage more conversation than usual. What're some of the most entertaining conversations that you've had?