Fragile

Hello @Appleblossom please don't be sorry for long posting. I know first-hand how much it can help to get it all out in writing and this is a safe place to do it, plus supportive. Yes my adult child is older, all the stuff I wrote about in the post I deleted happened when they were 17-19 years old. The short story is I left home for a few months so they could do the last half of year twelve without the abuse cycle. There were many reasons they were angry with the world and I was the focal point therefor target.

I hear you about growing up with complicated and confusing relationships around you.

Happy to have Mum chats anytime you want to.

I think I get it.

xxx

With such a confusing upbringing it is no wonder you could not see 'normal' in your life @Appleblossom I knew my younger life was not the norm but also didn't know any other way. That certainly carried into my adult life a lot and has had a major influence on how I have seen the world. Education and wider social encounters changed all that when I was a bit older - and luckily I had sport and the social aspects of that to widen my scope of observable relationships. I also had some support through sport to get out of the home and could stay with other people when I wasn't staying with ny grandparents. My grandparents' place was really my safe place and I was so grateful to have them. They, along with my mother, encouraged me with everything I chose to do so while there was a lot of bad experiences as a child and teenager there was also some great things that happened as well. All of it made me the person I am now and whilst I would change a lot if I could I would not change who I become.

I think who you are is a wonderful person @Appleblossom and you have so much to give here on the forum. You support others with your words and allow others to find strength in sharing your journey. Despite what you have endured throughout your life you continue to push forward and I admire your courage to get out and do social things with the zoo and your singing - that takes courage to do - especially when other things in your life are less than ideal. I am sure like me you would change much of your past if you could but it has also made you the person you are and your wisdom here and in helping others through their own struggles shows strength. Keep being you Hon because you are enough.

Thank you so much @Zoe7 Am trying.

@eth The auntie I was closest too, did a similar thing and left home for her blended family of 3 adult kids to sort it out together. I babysat her kids a bit and they were kind to me at mother's funeral, grateful for my invitations and giving them a safe sense of extended family with organising multiple family holidays and events over the years. That actual auntie was less so ( had "moved on" with new romantic partner turned selfish and ridiculing) and the 2nd biggest betrayal next to my own mother. She "needed" to connect with the uncle/auntie BHP managment couple, moved close to them for support, but then became cynical and was nasty about both them and me. They had bully drug dealer son who dragged my brother downhill. So much for cousins. At least the generation of cousins that I supervised were decent, grateful and had wholistic earthy camping experiences in the wonderful Australian bush. I dont ask more of them. Suicide effects families a lot. I cant know all the issues of my mothers large family. I know more than enough. It was all too much. So estrangements everywhere. That bad threesome and gay uncle was the last relative I have seen, and the only one who ever actually phoned me in my life, ever, to asked how I was. Early in the forum I posted about his terrible tardive dyskinesia

@Appleblossom I really feel for you.

I came home from lovely afternoon at fundraiser to beautiful piano music. Son happily moved back to the other piano and we had chat about fundraiser. Which got my son super passionate and excited. In some ways he cant help himself so today he is being gorgeous big baby dragon ranting about his musical plans. God love him.

The other stuff is parked for now.

Those are the moments you need to cherish @Appleblossom When we find the joy in what we do it warms our hearts - even if it is just for a little while.

@Appleblossom 💜💐

Beautiful @Faith-and-Hope

Need it. Lingering with it.

@PeppiPatty This where you can catch up a bit re me.

@eth and @Queenie There is a mum of a transperson posting on the carer's side in "Looking after Unwell Adult Child". If you feel like posting there.

Tonight has been lovely. Aaaaaahhhh the ups & downs in life.

So glad to hear you had a peaceful and enjoyable evening @Appleblossom xx

This morning has been lovely too. My son finally set up speakers and put on music for me and then later played beautiful piano for me. I shared birthday breakfast with shy mum to be. SInging Bach today.

Have a good day all.

@eth @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Teej @Queenie @Bunniekins @CheerBear