Fragile

Hi @Appleblossom

I am glad you are not getting the "flick" - it's hard work working with our kids - it seems different generations differ so much - but you do need the help - I get it.

I have started wrapping my parcels - other years I have managed to get other people to do most of this for me - I find it hard work so it's one thing at a time - and I have the biggest and hardest parcel done and the others will be easy after that one

Money seems to be a good idea - my nearest and dearest can buy something personal for themselves which I would not try - but I have some little things to wrap - maybe they will end up in bags but still - I am doing it this year

I wish the best for you and your son - I hope this Christmas will be the best possible

Dec

Giving Money has never worked in my family. @Owlunar

The one time I gave money to niece & nephew I was told off by rich brother, whose mantra in life was money, toys and lollies. He used to withold my gifts from his children and then when I visited once and saw unopened presents sitting in book shelf he muttered in reply. Said djembe I gave once was a good present.

One year my brother bought everybody in the family a big candle and wrapped a $20 note around it.

I love that memory now, but at the time felt it was more about him making a statement, than giving a gift. It was a positive approach in the least. We all laughed as each opened their present as it became obvious what he was doing. It was the older brother, when my sister was still alive, before the younger rich one joined. We were such a small precious family unit, but there was genuine LOVE within our group before everything went sour. I try and remember that, as separate to all the struggles.

This christmas has been VERY NON.

I am feeling very fragile as if I am going to be hit.

My son has gone out on a walk. Says things are complicated. I know they are. They were very complicated before his birth and conception. At least he has come out of his room. He said he would talk later, but it sounds ominous. I am rpetty sure he has been pressured by the girls and dad. His dad is giving him a car, which is good in a way.

It has been so hard for me to keep giving and keep getting hit down.

I cleaned his bathroom this christmas while he was away. He noticed and thanked me.

It is about deeply entrenched misogyny. It matters little what I do or give ...

@Former-Member

Been reading new Boundary setting guidelines and tho they are not bad, I am afraid they have triggered me, becasue they have an assumption that there is only one person who is unwell and surrounding people who are well and have lots of resources. That is not my experience of LIFE and mental illness at all. It can be read that family has not followed through in those ways. Please is there aqny way you can extend the page to address situations of multipie people struggling.

Hi @Appleblossom
Sorry to hear that you have had that response to the new guidelines, I will highlight this with @Former-Member and the Community Managers to have a look into.
If you have found it triggering maybe take a step back to reground yourself and look after yourself as needed

Hey @Appleblossom Hearing you hon and here if you need

i am here too for you @Appleblossom

Thank you @LouLouMagoo

I have stepped back.

Thanks very much @Zoe7 @Shaz51 I had already FELT your warmth and support.

It has nothing to do with you, just that I feel people might get the wrong idea. Mental illness always comes with complexity and it is usually due to the fact that some complexity/issue is not recognised that it happens.

With all the advances of TRAUMA informed care acknowledging trigger events, not dumping it all on genes, an eye roll and a shrug, I felt concerned that another 10-20 years progress would be lost, in industry'medical field 's understanding of core issues.

I am working at keeping safe. Not to worry.

I understand that you had a significant trigger today @Appleblossom and that it has really affected you. That is sometimes unavoidable but I do hope you are doing everything you can to stay safe and try to get through this Hon. We are here for you when you need Apple and you know you can tag me anytime and if I am logged on I will be there for you - just as you have done in the past for me. Your priority is you right now so do whatever it is you need to get through this. Thinking so much of you this evening and holding you in the light Hon