I think what I have to do is work methodically through the issues with the 2 older female psychologists who are starting to bat for me. In complex family situations it really takes a long time to establish what a person's character is and "who" is enabling "who" in "what" behaviours.
This well qualified guy came down with that judgement in front of my son in almost a "get out of gaol free" comment. He followed it with "I bet you have heard that before" to me. To which I nodded. Things were terse, but it was all about the counsellor and not even starting to relate to us.
My son and I have not discussed it and the fellow did not make probation with the organisation so will not give us any more of his "questionable" sessions.
I am carrying the parental burden, even past the age of majority. There was also no discussion about circumstances and motivations, or even that much about what actually did occur.... Just a blanket statement to dump blame. Pick on mothers. He had the education to know better, but could not be bothered to ask appropriate questions.
Thanks @outlander @Former-Member
I have blown off steam and my house is a little cleaner, but I also need to note them move away from those big feelings.

I see Frydenberg has given surprise splash of big money to the reef GBR charity pitting them against the CSIRO to draw attention away from Adani spill and other pressing policy problems. The slashing of funds to the CSIRO was idiocy for our continent and scientists.
My son phoned and needs a pick up in an hour.
Tomorrow I have a zoo session and a MH activism session...
Sorry I am in a grumble bum mood, Head is searing with pain. There is only so much that can be achieved by commitment.