@Appleblossom

Hi Apple - I read what you wrote on someone else's thread about suicide - it was such a gentle and thought-provoking message - I had to post away from that person's pain to an old friend personally.

I am really glad to be back - there was a bit of a rocky start but that seems okay now. I had to withdraw when my uncle died - the loss was profound - someone I had known my whole life and who had been through things with me - regardless of what it was.

And he and my aunt were public figures and well known - they treated me like the daughter they never had - with more friendship as I was fairly close to them in age - and I had the wonderful privilege of seeing their humanity - I miss both of them.

They were the parents of the cousin who completed suicide - I don't think they ever recovered. Whatever happens after death they are at peace now - this I believe.

You had a lot of flack from your mother - I did too but differently - and I know I had a supportive family apart from her. I remember a post about your mother just before I suddenly took time out - totally totalled by grief - couldn't read the forum and couldn't post - I'm sorry about that.

Whatever the circumstances of our lives we have both survived - there are a lot of survivors in this forum. I am proud to know you and sorry - so sad - you lost your son to suicide too - that can hurt right down to your soul - I have accepted my son's death - he had so many issues - the expression about someone being in a better place can grate - HOW can anyone know? In my case - whatever there is in the pearly gates and the angelic harp playing in a bejeweled background - wow - wonderful mythology - reality - my son is at peace and that's what sustains me.

Your mother really was a number - I can't remember - is she still alive? - if she is do you have any relationship with her? Mine died 8 years ago - since then I have found memories I had repressed - I have had a couple of phone calls with The Blue Knot Foundation - very helpful - I can forgive my mother and still be angry. I can understand her reasons but never allow her to have excuses for her behaviour.

How are you going with all of that? We aren't so young anymore - I saw my mother dying full of regrets and that is a terrible way to go - I have pretty great memories to reflect on - when I separated and then divorced, I had a second adolescence and enjoyed myself thoroughly - I had a great time and now that I stay at home most of the time because of my bad shoulder I rejoice in my memories - I hope you have some too.

All the best my dear friend and oh yes - before I go - I have just read one of the strangest books I have ever read - Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe. I'm glad I saw the movie a couple of times before I read the book. Wow - what was the author smoking while she was writing? The stories were all over the place. Now maybe I'm being critical - still I have a degree in English Lit and a minor in General and Comparative Literature - I have already be through the layers of literature - enough said.

I hope you have a good sleep and it is so good to be back and catching up with old friends

Owlunar

a quick interruption here

Fried Green Tomatoes I first saw decades ago and have rewatched time and time again.

Very few films do I watch more than once.

Watched One flew over the Cuckoos Nest again the other night.

Several more that I cannot recall at the moment.

I prefer British, Australian or Foreign films to american so that is another reason why I am surprised.

@Owlunar @Appleblossom

Hi @Sophia1

I love the movie Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe and decided to read the book to find out more of what was just hinted at in the movie.

I often enjoy books and movies on the same subject - I am not bothered at all by the differences. This time I REALLY wanted to find out what happened to Frank Bennet - Ruth's husband - and so I kept on reading this novel that jumped from story to story and back and forth in time and truly - I would have given up - so I read it too the end of what happened to Frank Bennet was in the movie. So yes - my opinion - the movie is great and someone took a lot of effort to find the great story in the novel

So I mentioned this to my support worker and she loved the movie too and although she doesn't read much she was happy to take my copy of the novel home - I gave it to her so I am not worried that she will probably take a long time to read it.

After all - other people might like novels like that. It's just personal taste

I read One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. That was a rather horrifying story - the movie was okay - I remember the novel better - then there was The Time Traveller's Wife - great movie - the novel jumped back and forth through time too with the main characters meeting each other in different times at different ages - I never read that again but I always watch the movie.

There have been books I liked better than the movies - I can't think of one right now - but then I always have a wry thought about Russian novelists. Not my favourite genre. When I was doing my HSC as a mature age student I read and battled and re-read Crime and Punishment - I can't remember much about it now - I did write about it in the exam - we all went to the movie that was in Russian with English sub-titles and afterwards I still say I wish I had read the movie before I saw the book.

It's all taste - experience - after all - it's really great we all like different things

Thanks for your thoughts - that's really good

Owlunar

Ooooh ... legal people might still want to help ... there is still so much to do to imporve a LOT of different systems ...

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-02-24/out-of-home-care-leavers-support-age-21-centrelink/102002736

Indeed. And intersectionality would compound the problems for so many kids.

Hmmm I know which one is me.

Only one @Appleblossom ? Maybe you're doing better than you think. But good luck in surmounting it. I have work to do too.

ha ha @Dimity Yes there is a little of all 4 in me, just one I leaned towards more than others.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EyqPOI3auk

How to come out of a chronic freeze response after repeated stress & trauma

For me coming out of freeze response and chronic shutdown ... has taken a long time. A long time to be aware of words that make sense of how I have felt during my childhood and marriage. Then 20 years trying to establish environmental safety and reduce chronic pain.