Returning home from mhu

A teacher told me that some parents live in fear of their children falsely accusing them of abuse. It does seem unfair that in our generation we were expected to be immediately obedient, whereas today many children seem to run the show.

I have not felt appreciated by my dead brothers 3 children, yet I had to reach out.

I tried subtle ways to socialise my kids ... eg taking them camping a lot and being with all the other families ... following the natural rhthyms of the day ... but now I cant camp so gentle osmosis is out of the question. My exhusband did not approve of telling children to be respectful or about manners or saying sorry etc ... I wasnt big on it (had not worked out a policy) but he was angry that my mother did it. He wanted it all to come from them because we had earned it ... made life a lot more difficult than it needed to be.

One odd thing happened to me as a teacher ... During one of my lessons, I was told by parent who was also a teacher to interrupt her children more ... all we can do is try.

The girls went home yesterday. I didn't go outside to see them off. I was feeling too angry and would have said too much to their mother about the oldest behaviour. I'm still angry. My husband was just as upset by it as me. I just feel so strongly that it is not acceptable behaviour for a six year old to dictate what happens in my house and be so manipulative. I would feel exactly the same if any of our other grandchildren did the same.

I grew up in an era where children respected their parents and their elders. No back chatting. This is not just about respect for parents although this is where it starts. It respect for authority I.e police, teachers. Any child will have a hard life if they cannot show respect. We all have boundaries placed upon us and for the most part it's a good thing. It would be chaos on the roads if we didn't have road rules.

i told my son that they could only stay three nights maximum per week, and I'm stretching it at that.

i don't think we are being unreasonable in our expectations. As I said our other grandchildren are expected to follow our rules. They complain, but do it anyway.( mainly limits on electronics and suitable TV) I think they have all said at one time or another, your not my parent you can't tell me what to do. To which they are told this is my house what we say goes.they don't like it but they do comply. And we have a good relationship with them all.

i slept for two hours solid yesterday afternoon. Having a lazy day today. Was going to the pool for a swim, but coming down with a cold.

I always find it very challenging comming home. Its great that you have good support. I admire you that you have returned to work. Its a huge step forward. Remember to take care of yourself. And welcome to the forum.

Get out into the sunshine for a while as soon as you can - that will help your mood.

i'm not saying that 'get out into the sunshine' is the only thing to do, but the mental health system is heavily abusive. the only good thing about it, as far as i can tell, is the medications, and they have mixed results and side effects, often. keep muddling through but don't blame yourself if you're not making the progress that you expected to see. THE MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM IS HEAVILY ABUSIVE. Sorry to 'yell', but those people really can't help you. Human contact with them may provide a 'band aid' at times and, yes, the meds can help, but the mental health act is a very bad thing. You are going to have to keep 'muddling through' until research and practice are sophisticated enough for mental health 'treatment' to actually be helpful. Never give up. Aim for an easy life, maybe study a little, enjoy contact with family, get out into the sunshine and don't expect to much 'progress' with the system the way it is, and certainly don't blame yourself for a lack of progress. Pray on it. Good luck and god bless you.