BabyDragon's Den

Hi Hon - missed seeing you around @Former-Member

Hi @Zoe7,

Yeah I've been around just not talking much had alot going on not only in life but I'm my head as well it's like I've gone backwards. Voice that I could block out or ignore are screaming I'm my head its so hard to get some quiet relax time even when I'm on my own. I started self harming again (haven't told anyone) I just don't feel like me

Oh @Former-Member so sorry it has got that bad for you Hon - is it your alters talking to you or other voices?

It's a mix @Zoe7, I do hear Casey alot but there are other voices some recognisable other unfamiliar but it's the ones I recognise that are the problem because of the reasons they are recognisable, it takes me back to bad times and puts me in a dark place

Oh bugger @Former-Member that really sucks. Have you talked about any of this with your psych? Has something triggered all this or is it just a general feeling of going backwards that you are feeling?

No @Zoe7 I haven't had the chance to discuss it with my psych she is on holidays until October and my appointment isn't until the 8th. It is a general feeling at the same time as September being a bad month for me for 3 reasons.

1. Fathers Day - my MC was my first abuser and my step father while wasn't a bad parent wasn't a good one either

2. My best friend commited Si when we were 9

3. I attempted Si 2 weeks after her

August is my bad month so I can totally get why all those things in September would be getting to you @Former-Member Right now it is important to tell yourself that you are safe though Hon - no-one can hurt you anymore. I know how very hard that is to get into our heads - if you are anything like me that is when the flashbacks start, the trouble sleeping and generally feel worthless. You will get through this - pity you don't see you psych until October - but you have us here to chat to in the meantime and you can always call the helpcentre or helpline chat if you need added support.

That's why I come here @Zoe7, the great support and always being able to talk to someone.

I know everyone is different when it comes to flashbacks but the trouble is the I don't just get an average one where you visualise what happened I can feel the physical sensations of being back there as wel

Sending some hugs your way @Former-Member .... 💓💓💓

That is exactly what I get too @Former-Member - feel it emotionslly and physically and it makes me feel a combination of frozen, fear and wanting to be sick. It is hard to explain these feelings to those that don;t have them the same as we do - it is not simoly a flashback, it is as if you are going through it all again - and that is incredibly hard to deal with. I hear you Hon and am here with you