Shaz51Senior Contributor
Finding motivation again
Hi, My Husband is saying latey that he is losing his motivation in doing things , How can I help him to get his motivation back ??
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Finding motivation again
18 replies
In response to: Finding motivation again
PeppiPattySenior Contributor
Re: Finding motivation again
Dearest @Shaz51
We havent spoken for a while hey?? I think that you gave me a comliment a little while ago.
This is a problem that I have as well and one which .......I think......I might have dealt with. if you could bear with my story first....
My husband has been very concerned with my lack of motivation ......my tiredness and lack of energy.
The thing that has helped us the absolute Most was the group therapy with Arafmi, for two and a half hours....Arafmi is called something else now...helping hands me thinks.
We were both able to air everything......It was so non judgemental and we came to the realisation that he has to move home to live nearer to me.
It was very hard for me because
everyting waS ABOUT HIM for years
the end of the year and everyone usually is unmotivated but ;
being able to air my views really gave me a kick start.
It feels like your retionship is similar to my and my hus. That you spend a lot of time together and you both dearly want the best for each other.
For years, I have listened, turned myself inside out and focused only on him. It almost .....made me as exhausted as other things that have happened in my life. but not quite.......
I really feel that going to a support group was also able for him to understand that all communication was a dialogue not a monologue. That one of us was very tired and something needed to change.
So, maybe, with an outsider, you can both come to different conclusions. That you are working very hard for him not to feel under stress is always a nice reminder for him and he can then comprimise about changes for him.
I really dislike that Everything has to be so dramatic and hard.......but this is one thing that has helped us so that he wants to continue going there and help others as well.
In response to: Re: Finding motivation again
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Finding motivation again
Hi @PeppiPatty How are you ?? no it has been a while ,you are right That we spend a lot of time together and we both dearly want the best for each other. I don`t know if there is a group near us and I don`t know if my husband would go to the meetings , but I will look into it and maybe !!
In response to: Finding motivation again
PeppiPattySenior Contributor
Re: Finding motivation again
Your on the right track like me too
I found reading @Maritza posts really helpful too actually
Ahe clearly defines the feelings I was having
I found reading @Maritza posts really helpful too actually
Ahe clearly defines the feelings I was having
In response to: Re: Finding motivation again
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Finding motivation again
hi @PeppiPatty i found one near us but it is an hours drive away and it is during the week and my husband said it means more time off work which he doesn`t want to do
In response to: Re: Finding motivation again
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Finding motivation again
like today , did one job this morning , came home, had lunch and slept for four hours this afternoon , any tips would be great
In response to: Finding motivation again
PeppiPattySenior Contributor
Re: Finding motivation again
Okay : everyone here can work with this :
I heard of an exercise where you write a problem on a piece of paper and he gives it to you and you both sit there and 'keep on writing how can we work on this together
And like storm ideas by just writing ideas down ...... on paper
It supposed to be more relaxing
Can you think of everything else ?
I heard of an exercise where you write a problem on a piece of paper and he gives it to you and you both sit there and 'keep on writing how can we work on this together
And like storm ideas by just writing ideas down ...... on paper
It supposed to be more relaxing
Can you think of everything else ?
In response to: Finding motivation again
PeppiPattySenior Contributor
Re: Finding motivation again
Yeah it's difficult because his decision needs to be honoured
And he should honour your needs ....... Phew ..... Have you thought of just saying this is something we will deal with and we will go to a group support when your ready to
And he should honour your needs ....... Phew ..... Have you thought of just saying this is something we will deal with and we will go to a group support when your ready to
In response to: Re: Finding motivation again
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Finding motivation again
Hi @PeppiPatty It feels like your retionship is similar to my and my hus. That you spend a lot of time together and you both dearly want the best for each other.
For years, I have listened, turned myself inside out and focused only on him. It almost .....made me as exhausted as other things that have happened in my life. but not quite.......
thank you so much for your message, our lives sound similar ,
We have a new Mental health worker and she is so different, giving him homework, exercises etc which he is not happy with
have a great day , and write back soon
In response to: Finding motivation again
PeppiPattySenior Contributor
Re: Finding motivation again
Well you can be proactive and after thinking how to speak it on your words
Maybe ...... You can say to your mental health worker ;
This is an example only
My hub. Has got these concerns :
1:
2:
3:
We have been married for x years and I need to say that these are my concerns about me
1:
2:
3:
I would like if you could help us work together in solving these concerns. The first concern is that ( ??? ( I. need to go to a cafe every morning for a cup of tea alone. This has nothing to do with my. Love and affection that I have for him ; it is absolutely my seperate needs
you don't stop you stand by what you need. It's been an ...... Enigma for me how much my hub. Will work at making sure I get what I need but the seperate on thing is a bit difficult for him at the mo.
Maybe ...... You can say to your mental health worker ;
This is an example only
My hub. Has got these concerns :
1:
2:
3:
We have been married for x years and I need to say that these are my concerns about me
1:
2:
3:
I would like if you could help us work together in solving these concerns. The first concern is that ( ??? ( I. need to go to a cafe every morning for a cup of tea alone. This has nothing to do with my. Love and affection that I have for him ; it is absolutely my seperate needs
you don't stop you stand by what you need. It's been an ...... Enigma for me how much my hub. Will work at making sure I get what I need but the seperate on thing is a bit difficult for him at the mo.
In response to: Re: Finding motivation again
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Finding motivation again
thankyou @PeppiPatty, we have another appointment this week befor christmas, and my husband has said he is not going , so will see what happens on the day
