My journey

That is a hard place to live Hon - in an angry state. Is there anything you can do to feel less 'mad at the world'? Are you still going for the walk by the water @Former-Member ?

A lot of me is actually numb not even worried about my actions currently. Alot of me is feeling every thing as well...

Yeah we will go,have just come back from the area i pick my daughter up at

Not really just keep hating @Zoe7

Well for what it's worth - I like you @Former-Member - it takes great courage and determination to have been through what you have and to still want to better yourself - to first recognise that you have done some things that were not so nice and then try not to do them again. You are also raising your little girl on your own and that takes strength - so I believe in you Hon.

There is nothong worse than feeling everything but also being numb to everything I so totally get that feeling @Former-Member - it is a really hard place to be sitting - on one hand all the pain, anger, hate is right there in front of you and you can nearly reach out to touch those feelings but inside you still feel numb - I understand Hon - I really do!

Are you safe? When you say 'worried about your actions' that concerns me - are you likely to do anything to harm yourself or is this one of your states where you get so angry that you want to take it out on someone else?

At the moment yes @Zoe7

I am about to head out will probably cry in the car. I don’t even know myself anymore I don’t dress the same none of it is the same and part of the reason why I can’t let go is due to the depression that came with it @Zoe7 and how much I’ve lost myself with all the emotions, I really don’t know any other way of coping without taking it out on others and my body at the moment it’s 24/7 full time parenting with no balance and i am not enjoying it most days yes terrible mum saying it!! Terrible everything!!!!

I honestly feel like the most hated person alive because now I am just not a nice person!!!!! And see it all differently just seriously HATE MYSELF I am a loser well and truly remember that) I just ended up where I ended up and this is the end result of it. Off my head going out now

Just had a massive cry in the car @Zoe7

Looked at an old photo in an album and it brought it on. Not feeling good today at all.

I really think I need to move to move on. There’s no way I can stay where I am and be ok with my daughter.

Hearing you Hon

I am not having such a good time of it myself at the moment so sorry if I am not here much for you for a while - will be thinking about your though @Former-Member.

Hi to you both @outlander @Zoe7

Sorry Zoe, It’s not fun in pain

I never do @outlander I’ve cried quite a bit today. My landlord still hasn’t responded it’s been over a week or so but I definately will have to break it if he doesn’t because all I keep doing is crying. I really want to move state. I can’t stay in this town anymore. It hurts too much. I am feeling alone at the moment, really hurting