My journey

The landlord is yet to confirm if I can shorten my lease @Zoe7 if he doesn’t hurry up I will just break it and take off because it’s my life and move state I really am hitting breaking point here

Is that what you want to do - move to a different state to start again @Former-Member?

Almost every single day. I hate it here, just went backwards ever since I left and moved back @Zoe7 I have thought about it every dam day!! But want out of this lease and out of this s**t unit and just want to be done with it all and forget everything that ever happened

The only thing keeping me is my mum and my brother but everyone has their lives and almost every person is sick of me or hates me here anyway for whatever reason or the fact I just hate now anyway!. Or they just control my life or I try and control our life because I will not let them control mine again I am out of control. I actually think I am going to go get wine because I physically can’t calm down tonight and feel like i am going to lash out. One old gf I don’t even want to talk too anymore because every time she says she is struggling with her child and partner and three incomes I can’t relate and feel like screaming at her!!!. People just treat you differently @Zoe7 now that I am in this position I really feel that alone more than ever before in my life and can’t deal with being in this town!!!

Although I can't relate to you being on your own bringing up your daughter I can relate to that feeling of being alone Hon - it feels as if no-one can get close because everyone hurts you in some way so although you don't want to be on your own it is the safest options - is that about where you are sitting right now @Former-Member?

Well when I wasn’t on my own I know what happened then @Zoe7 and then what happened after and now people just make me feel c**p!!! I already feel like that everyday

You shouldn't be made to feel like that by either others or yourself Hon - that is not fair at all. I think you wanting to move and not be around that type of environment everyday is a wise choice - I really hope that comes off for you so you no longer have to feel this way - you deserve to have a life free of people making you feel like that everyday @Former-Member

This is my first post. I was diagnosed three years ago with Schizophrenia. They have changed it to Psychosis with Anxiety now. I have Depression, Epilepsy and Hypothyroidism. I am on lots of different medication. I am exhausted all the time. I was told it was the medication. Today I slept in to 530pm. I didn't take my medication tonight because I need to study for an exam which is next week. I have done this before. The doctor is going to change my medication in five weeks time but, that doesn't help me now when I am struggling with my study commitments. I was wondering how many other people are out there with the same problem. I still hear voices when I take the medication also which is another reason I want to change medication.

Hi @Bel1 and welcome to the forum.

I can imagine how difficult it would be to study while you're experiencing that kind of exhaustion. I would be tempted not to take my medication also, though I am guessing that not taking medication may cause different problems. Are you able to see your doctor sooner and talk about changing medication earlier?

I am not studying at the moment but but it is something I am really hoping I'll be able to try again sometime. There are a number of people here on the forum who are studying who may be able to share their experiences. It might be worth posting a new discussion so that others can see your post easily and respond. You can do that by clicking on "new discussion" under of the discussion topic headings if you'd like to. You might also like to introduce yourself here, which can be another way to meet members who might have the same kinds of experiences.

Best wishes with it all. Hope you find something that works for you soon.

@Zoe7 I am flat as a pancake today and last night so that’s why I never replied.

I went out for a little bit earlier and now I am cleaning and sorting out the laptop. Another hour and I will have to pick up my daughter

Going for a walk tonight by the water to clear my head

That is quite alright Hon - I totally understand @Former-Member

It seems like you are doing some things for yourself today and that is a good sign. A walk by the water sounds really nice - is it nice weather where you are today - it is sunny here but there is still a chill in the air.