hoping to relate to others out there..husband has health anxiety/depression

hi, am so relieved to make contact with this forum. My husband of almost 10 years has health anxiety/depression. He has had it for almost 4 years now, but always had some mild anxiety from worrying excessively, so did his mum. He hasnt sought professional help, except one session with a local free service who told him to stop worrying about things and think about your family. But as you can imagine that didnt go down too well..... he has been obssesed about his health since our daughter had cancer 4 years ago. Around the same time he became unemployed and hasnt returned to the work force, he has some desire to return to some work but not the previous roles he once had.So he just keeps saying he needs to be creative and I need to leave him alone and not nag him about it.But he stays up late, Ill come home and he will be on youtube watching documentaries or learning about something thats totally non work related. im so fustrated that he doesnt seem to want to work again and spends his days basically just at home, no social network, unresponsive at times to me too and the family and we hardly go out as a family ever. let alone any inviation we might recieve or outing.Im always with our kids and doing things with them ontop of the house hold chores, i shop, take bins out, do the school runs, doctors,bills everything basically. I know im really having a negative rant and i feel bad esp as this is my first post i cant imagine my first impression is that great lol. But i have hope this forum and its communty can really help me filter whats happening around me and to maybe help me understand more what struggles my husband is facing. i feel so let down and dissapointed that he is not the husband and the roles attached to it, and im sure other women too will read this and be nodding their heads. but i dont know what to do, he says he is open to seeing a pyhscologist but on the other hand he is so involved in reasearching specialist doctors to help him diagnose his mystery illness. all tests so far have come back clear thank God. but he insists there is something there. whenever i bring up my fustration or concern about his behaviour somehow it gets turned onto me and he tells me that he is a result of what i put him through? i feel so guilt but angry and fustrated that somehow his actions are all my fault? so whenever he says that i go back to retreat bec i dont know how to respond to this other than to tell him that he needs to find within him a desire to be a man and husband for his family, its not found outside of him. any advice will be much appreciated. many thanks in advance.