Who are You?

golly.
I find Eggshells book difficult to read. Isnt that interesting that you read it. IIn the past, I would have written your more intelligent but now ille write, our journeys are different.
Yeah, at the moment, Im angry. I guess I got a partner that acted out my anger. I left my marriage shortly before I met him I was and am confused that my marriage didnt work.
More fool me.

Hey @justanother47yr,
Its okay to be angry, but try not to let it own you...

Where are the kind words for yourself my friend? That you have been doing the best you can, you've returned to work, you have put in some boundaries with your ex..always worth doing and that you care!

These are qualities to treasure, because despite everything, you consistently seek out the positives in other people, you open up to sharing your vulnerability but you are definitely more durable than vulnerable..

Softness has its place, maybe that anger can be directed in the way you do it here online..to make our world a kinder place..

your marriage didn't work out, but maybe it wasn't supposed to..perhaps you are worth more than you think!

That's not to say I am criticising your ex, just that you did the best you could do at the time!!

Big hugs to you..channel that anger somewhere useful..no mean feat but I know with you can over time!

Hey @PeppiPatty

I totally agree with @Alessandra1992 - you have shown us such strength and qualities that, to be honest, when I think about it...I am in awe. Alessandra mentioned 'to make our world a kinder place' - you certainly make these forums a kind and wonderful place for everyone.

I heard somewhere "without emotions the mind becomes a stagnant pond". I take this as our emotions are what makes us human, what drives us, and we can use them for both good and bad. I believe you choose good....I'll simply echo Alessandra again (if that's OK) to prove my point - "you consistently seek out the positives in other people, you open up to sharing your vulnerability but you are definitely more durable than vulnerable."

You have friends here, believe me!!

Hobbit.

Hello Hobbit, Allessandra1992,
you are clever Allessandra1992. I put my hand up, sitting on a couch and write...I am only interested in the soul. no one wants ....where's that quote...the stagnant pond thing?
In awe, ....You two.... thanks. I knew there was a reason why I keep on coming back to Sane Forums....I remember one stage, I got grumpy and thought, I don't have time for this....I'm a reasonably forward looking person who needs to work......
...and I check people's inputs on Sane forums all the time.
I just want the best in today's well boundried help groups. And for me to get support as well.

I want to write this..... I might be someone who's been here from day one or week 7 but I get vulnerable. I never thought that my ex partner would mess up so badly and at 47 years old...... I'm going through RSPCA, police yet...only 2 years ago, my marriage to my darling darling husband collapsed.

allessandra1992. Thank you for your input. I see the amazing help words give us.

I do want to write that some years ago, I was confronted in this weird interaction (which I may be still questioning )

Some years ago, my home : personal life was very feral. some difficult things were happening. and my son was very very ill and not coping. I sold up and moved in next door to my Dad. there was still very little support and out of the blue....a former boyfriend turned up so after a while, I started dating him.

this is the weird thing....It was like...he was holding all showing all my anger and craziness.
we broke up quickly, I took it to therapy and my psychotherapist and me worked on it.

It was like, ?....I dated him those many years ago to act my anger.

I'm not writing oh, my last partner held anything of mine, he didn't. He messed up and I acted on it, maybe not quick enough, I don't know.
but can you comment on being with someone to show their ..... ( in my case...anger)



what do you think Allessandra1992 ?

Hey @justanither47yr,
I am not sure if I am understanding you, but are you saying that you allowed yourself to be with someone who you knew was not going to bring out the best in either of you, because you were angry with yourself and not caring who you were with?

Or could it be, that sometimes like all people, we have lapses of judgement, we get lonely, we seek love and that's pretty ordinary to want a loving relationship?

I don't know about you, but the road to lasting relationship based on maturity and equality took a few twists and turns on the way. I think most people have been with partners for short or long periods that turned out to be the wrong match..

It doesn't make us to be any lesser as people either, perhaps some of us do more road testing until we get the model that is the right fit for us..

What do you think?

Perhaps not judging yourself too harshly, too easy to be our own worst enemy..the wise counsel of true friends can really help us evaluate our life choices more kindly..

hi Allessandra1992,
you wrote me a question and I can't find it.......
Where is it?

:0)

On the caring message you gave.....
Good value.
How are you today ?

Hi @justanother47yr,
Today I am tired.
Tomorrow I will be tired again but..
Tiredness is only tiredness.
Hope to get some quality nap time on the weekend..
Starting to think about Xmas decorations.. So kind of excited a bit and kind of freaking out about who when and where as it is though everyone wants to catch up between Xmas and new year..
How r you travelling?

I found the message...right underneath the one I asked you where it is!!

Ille write in short notes okay?
allessamdra1992 you wrote something just then supporting some advise I gave MrsC and it made me feel li want to smile.
I've experimented in moving on with my life by cutting down my medication and working and well, it's not working.
so, I've got to take a deep breather, back on the medication,

Your questions are gentle. , I didn't get with someone because I was lonely or angry, I just made a mistake. He never lived here, I kept the boundries down but I realised that he reflected the insecurity of myself.
It's like I grew out of it. no more intellectualising ....we had some very cool times.

It's really funny, I've taken 2 weeks off work because I just fell into bed one day and that's where I want to stay. I was talking to Mum and I remembered that she was insecure about me cutting down on the medication.
I'm just so sore and tired. I've cut down about 6 weeks or two months ago and I've noticed, my artwork grounding to a halt, I just want to sleep all the time.

At least I tried it though, hey Allessandra1992??

I choose not to have many 'friends,' I mean, I'm very liked etc, even the magistrate was giggling away about something I said when I was applying for a restraining order on my ex partner a couple of days ago.


nothing special. He fell into synthetic maraunjah which has nothng to do with me.

M&Ms are so so yummy.......

Keira, thank you. I am hoping to get on a plane with one of my dear girlfriends who lives near me next year....to Bali. I've tried to warn her I'll be sleeping, usually in bed by 9pm reading books......shelle be fine. She's a 72 year old groover !