catching up

Oh My angel, that is so sad and sweet, i started losing control when i lost contact with you too, i was so close to letting go when you found me again. i really mean it when i say you are the best christmas present i have ever gotten 🙂

I am so glad you kept reading, i was so scared i would never speak to you again, i was sure i had lost my only friend in the world.

Karen like wise my friend, i could not ask for a kinder, gentler friend, someone who supports me and does not make fun of my situation.

I think we are bonded for a life time Karen, i am so glad we are together again 😄

Jacques

Yes my angel, you have had quite the year, i hope next year is kinder to you, and we have many more nice memories to share with each other 🙂

Karen, i have spent the last year isolated in the house, so please don't feel like you are alone in isolating, we both do it, i just hope next year is better for the both of us 🙂

My angel, i know i am right, i am not going anywhere, you are stuck with me Karen, i am going to be the chewing gum stuck to your shoe 😄

We do have a special bond, i think so highly of you, you are my only friend, so you get all of my devotion and attention 🙂

How are the girls going, i bet they are almost out to it 🙂 i bet you are tired too Karen, i really hope you manage some rest tonight. after chatting to me of course 🙂

YAY 🙂 now is Karen time, rest up my angel, it has been a very big day for you.

Yes mum loved the day out, she left at 12:30pm and did not come home till 5pm, she had a ball, and we spoke and she agrees it is much nicer without me, because she always had to leave early because i was so distressed, so it really works for both of us well.

I am ok, i think the same as you the big build up, just winding down now, missing dad a lot though 😞

Yes, do you know if i ever saw you, i would be so paralised by fear i would not be able to spek to you, or come near you, i cna't believe the power my anxiety has over me, i would be so scared of you.

I do hope you see in me that not everybody is horrible, Karen i am ever only going to be nice to you, i could never do anything to upset you, i would be devistated if you ever got upset with me, you ean to much to me.

Hugs my angel

Jacques

Yes, i miss him a lot, i have never felt safe since he died, he was my protector, he was my best friend, it has had more of an impackt on me, but mum says things are not the same since he died, he was always happy, no matter what happened in life, mum and iwhere his world.

I have many good memories Karen, he was such a wonderful father, he tried so hard to provide for us, but always struggled.

No i don't think dad would have been proud of me, he would be so devistated to see how i turned out, a fat, lazy, dole bludging, loser, he always wanted me to be a big tech wiz with a big firm. i have really let him down, i have let everyone down, mums new illness is from not eating proper foods, she is now suffering because i did not have a job to make sure we had food, i feel so guilty.