catching up

I am so glad you like it, I smell so strongly of it :D.

oh no Karen, please no, that is too much, and not in that room again, Karen can you please try even staying in with the girls?

good girls Karen, try to build it up over time, your body will thank you.

yes I know, I think sometimes I have bites off more than I can chew. we just have to push on, go room by room, little steps Karen, remember.

I am melting, it is 38 and I am in the sun, I am sweating profusely and it is not from the anxiety for once 🙂

me too my angel, I am having Christmas day at home, but have to go out boxing day, I don't want mum to drive that big distance on her own, so I will be sitting outside of the house, as my aunt understands why I can't go in, I feel so bad for being so rude, but I just can't manage to talk to her, I just freeze up.

OH my angel cooked lunch, dinner and boxing day breaking 😄 and making all for the desserts.

I so wish you could have lunch with me, it will be so quiet here, just me, heaps of food and a good book. I will be thinking of you my angel, I know it will be tough for you.

thank you Karen, no I can't go in with her, I just can't handle so many people, so I will sit in the car.

oh Karen, I will be here for you tomorrow, I will help you get through. I know the girls don't handle that appointment well. just stay strong Karen, you are almost through the worst of it.

having some tea now, hope to speak to you later.

hugs

jacques

Oh My angel, i love talking to you, you are my best friend 😄

Yes me too, i feel so low on the day, same as my birthday, it is the time i miss dad, think of all the times i spent alone because dad was working and mum was away, and it makes me think of another year of my life wasted 😞 .

I do that too Karen, i do that a lot, i can literaly spend hours staring at the one spot, it is so scary, Karen ca nyou chat to me, or find something to keep your hands busy to break the cycle?

OMG Karen Sushi, wow times have changed, no i just had ham and a salad. do you like sushi Karen? i had it once, i don't mind the seaweed and rice, it is very nice.

No it is still hot, i was trimming the grass in 36 degree heat, it was nto pleasent, it is still 35 so who knows, i think i heard on the news something about early in the morning, so fingers crossed 🙂

No Karen the shower was horrible 😞 it was so hot, all the water pipes are so hot you can't touch them. so it was not pleasent, but i am in the cool now with the fan going flat out 😄

Karen i am hear to listen any time, i miss our chats, i really worry about you, and i really don't think this boxing day thing is a good idea either, i know, i have seen the effect it has on you, i am really worried for your safety.

gentle hugs my friend, things willl work out

Jacques

Oh Karen,

I can't believe your mum can be so cruel, i can't believe she does not support you, she sounds like she has lived a very priveliged life with no trauma, i am so sorry Karen, i can't wait for you to move into your new home so you will not be bullied anymore.

Oh yes, very expensive, i would not have picked you to like sushi, wow you keep suprising me Karen.

Yes it is not pleasent in the summer time here, winters are nice though.

I hope your mum does not do anything to upset you when she sees you in distress. does she offer any help?

Yes i do the same Karen, i am always catching myself doing it, i try to break the cycle but their is somethign drawing me to stare into space. it is like my mind is shutting down.

Big hugs

Jacques

No problem my angel, i only understand because i do the same, oh yes the poor little things, they must worry about their mum, just make sure you reassure them, mybe tell them you where day dreaming or something.

This must make things so worse, having no support, i thought by now she would have offered support, well i will offer support Karen, anytime, i will always be here for you.

Yes, i know Karen it is a big step, all the doubts and worries are natural, it is something new and a change in your routine, just allow things to move at their own pace.

Karen i am sure many women feel the same as you, ,they fele they can't be a single mum, but most manage, as i said allow things to move at their own pace. see how you go, if it does not work out you can always rent the place out 🙂