catching up

Oh KAren, 4 of my cousins come from ballarat, they still live their.

yes, it must have been so hard and lonely being so isolated, i suppose at the time, it was a big adventure, i hope one day you will see that not all people are like your husband. their are good people out their Karen. I hate people who control, My father was always so respectful of mum and she of him. i have never experianced what you have gone through, i was so lucky to grow up in a calm respectful household.

Karen, i am glad you like me, i really like you too, i just worry that i am sounding like a stalker or something, i just feel creepy, i am not used to being so close to someone, i have never been this close to anyone.

Karen, i will try to get a little sleep, i hope you get an hours nap this afternoon, you have a big week ahead of you, i will be here to support you every day. without fail.

You are so sweet and kind Karen, thank you, i don't know what i would do without you, big hugs

i know Karen,

it is just how i feel, i have never had a close friend befoe, this is all new to me. i am just trying to learn where the boundries are.

yes you are right, i feel so much better today than i have felt in weeks, i am laying down at the moment but i am not sleepy,.

wow, you do go back a ways, my family founded the town i live in now, i was born in Narromine, but we then moved to Brisbane where i was abused, and we moved back 20 years ago to the town, i have only bad memories here. actually i only have bad memories, the only good ones i have is speial occasions with mum and dad, probably 3 - 5 memories of good times in 33 years, gosh it is so depressing.

you are so lucky to have liked where you are born. have you ever thought of moving back their?

i have never been to victoria, my cousins live their and they have come over to visit a couple of times, but i was not a nice person then and i think they do not like me, i have changed a lot since then though.

you sound like their is some good things in your life Karen, hold onto those memories whenyou are in your dark place.

It is ok my angel, i am used to thinking how horrible my life, is, most nights i lay in bed thinking how my life would have turned out if i was somewhere i liked. i have thought about my past so muc hover the past 14 years, and how things could have been different.

Yes, i understand Karen, you would do anything for your girls, even at your expence, and you are right, you can make happy memories, the bad memories will be their but the good ones will win out, you just need to give it time, you and the girls are free now, your life is now what you want to make it.

Oh what a shame Karen, maybe it is good though, it may have ruined your good memories of the place, mum says ballarat and melbourne are beautiful places, she saidwhen the lived their she loved it.

I have always had anxiety and depression Karen, but when i was younger i was so angry and ever thing and every one, it has only been the past 3-4 years i have become so sad and so quiet, i think i have worn out the anger, i have held onto it for too long, now their is only pitty.

I know you have a rough day tomorrow, that is why i wish you would get some rest, you really need to rest up, because being exhausted is so detrimental to your mental health, i can see how low you get when you are tired, and i really worry about you when you get that low.

Karen i will be hhere to support you tomorrow, i will be with you every step of the way.

hi my angel,

yes i am having a good day, that is the scary part, my anxiety is always high, but oh i don't know, i just can't believe the effect it has on my body.