catching up

Hi Karen,

I can relate to having to live with the.... consequences of my ex's behavoiur with physical reminders. I try to look at healing those things, as taking back my life and quite literally healing the past, and I have the power now to control if/when I go to the drs now. Being able to get help for those things gives me a sense of... (can't find the right words!!) power or determination i suppose. Like its taking away something from him that he thinks he's left me with? No idea if that makes sense! But i guess i'm trying to say try exploring some different ways of thinking about your knee if you can... though sometimes we just need time to overcome some of the shock that these reminders bring us.

please look after you, you can get through all of this,

Can you use your coping box tonight? your photos and scents and lifeline?

LJ

Karen, my sweet princess,

I am so proud of you, you allowed a male doctor to touch you and to Xray you, what a brave woman you are, now only do you have the riminder of what your husband did to you, but dealing with another male, i am so so proud of you, i know you would not have even thought about doing that a couple of years ago.

Karen, The momentis over now, the doctor only wants the best for you and i know @Former-Member is right, you are taking back what your husband thought he had control over, you are taking that back and moving on with your life, that is why i am proud of you.

Big, big hugs my angel, you are safe now. you should have thought of me when he was doing the Xray, i would have been their holding your hand if i could have. 🙂

It is ok to have a breakdown, allow yourself time to move on, can you go outside for a little bit of fresh air? look at the stars and i will be looking too, maybe we will look at the same stars.

Jacques x

Oh my angel,

You must eat, even if it is a peice of toast, you need something in your tummy, you need your strength. Karen, please try to take your meds too, i know how hard things are, you are under a lot of stress and pressure, i don't know how you handle it all, but you show so much grace and dignity dealing with it all.

Oh the poor little things, they must be so scared of losing you, i am so glad they spent time hugging you, i know they love you very much and want you to be their mum, they love you Karen, they love you very much.

Karen, maybe try to make a diary of daily things you need to do, meds, food, etc, that way it is more like a task than caring for yourself.

Karen, you do have the strength, you have fought so hard to get to this point, you work at being safe so hard, you have made it through so many difficult times, you are a survivor Karen, you make it through tough times and just keep going.

I do hope things in the future are easier for you, i wish you could be shown love, caring and kindness, shown what it is like to be respected and thought of. you deserve to be admired for just being yourself.

Yes, i think you are continuing on the horrible treatment your husband did to you, you have taken over his role of abuse, it is all you know Karen, you need to relearn to love yourself again, i hope in the future i can offer the support to help you find the tools to love yourself again, you are so worth it. 🙂

Karen, i think you have been treated so badly all your life, abuse is all you know, you need to change your way of thinking, to be more loving and less abusive to yourself, you can get their my angel, i will hold your hand, help you down the right path.

I am ok My angel, thank you for asking, i am starting to accept things are changing, tomorrow is the big day, i am sure i will crash sometime later in the week as things start to dawn on me, but i am going to find the tools to get through it, you have given me a reason to fight on Karen, i want to be here for you.

It is a noce temp here tonight and i am hoping for a good nights sleep, but if i don't i will be thinking of you, that always helps me throough the long dark nights.

I suppose you are all loaded up with chocolate for easter with the girls? do you have an easter egg hunt with them? i hope they don't get n upset tummy from all the chocolate like i used to 😄