catching up

you can never hold me too tight my angel, it feels safer the more you hold on 🙂

hugs my angel, classes are almost over.

thinking of you my friend.

Jacques

Hi my angel, i am ok, just missing you thats all :).

just chatting to you is enough my friend, how did you go today?

i sat out the front of the house today, i have not sat out their in months, anyway a Mag pie came over to me and just stood their watching me, she was about 1m away, they are such beautiful creatures. she stood their for a good 10 min, then went over to the shrubs and had some dinner, it was so nice to watch nature. i so wish i was an animal, no worries, just live my life without rules or BS.

if i am upsetting you too much let me know and i will go. i don't want to upset you my friend.

No i was not workign on the bike, i came across the problem online, others had the same problem, and it got me thinking about why the motor was filling up with petrol, it registered straight away it was the float not stopping the fuel flow after the resevoir was full. i just had to go out straight away and see if that was the problem and sure enough it was, i don't know when i am going to try to start it, maybe easter or something.

Yes, well not so great, i spilled degreaser all over my work bench, so the clean up to way longer 😞 the joy of shaky hands.

I know my angel, their is so much pain in me, their always has been, i never think it will leave. maybe never knowing love or affection is a big part too. i wish i knew why everyone is scared of me and why i am scared of them.

hugs my angel, thank you for caring about me, i don't know why you do, i am not worth your time. i wish you could have a better friend than me, soomeone who could help you, make you better.

Thank you my friend, i am listening to really sad piano and violin music, i don't know why i have a compultion to sad things, maybe because i am. Karen, maybe you give me too much credit, i know you will not leave the girls. they need you and you need them.

Karen, i found the answer by mistake, i was looking for stuff on the mower when i stumbled across it, it was pure chance.

It would be awesome my angel, i look every day for the new treatments for us, their are many promising developments in MH, we just need to hold on. their will be a solution, at least that is my hope i hold onto.

mums day out tomorrow, so i will be home alone, i wish it was cooler i would go outside, but it is too hot at the moment.

My friend, how is your anxiety? would you like me to help you calm down?

how about we take some deep breaths together, count to 8 in and count to 8 out, try not to fight it Karen, it will only make the shaking worse, try to look up and around.

I know how bad it gets Karen, i will do the breathing with you. deep breaths Karen, in through the nose, out through the mouth.