catching up

Their is nothing wrong with you my friend, you are just overwhelmed, that is all. it is tough going from seeing no one to being in a room with 21 other people. i don't htink i could even walk through the door, so you are doing better than me.

Karen, you are not a burden, you are helping me just by chatting, it is so nice to see you writing on here, i feel relief when i speak to you, like all my problems evapourate when i am with you.

Karen, please try to be gentle with yourself, you are a wonderful person who is going through a tough time.

hugs my sweet princess, lots and lots of hugs.

Oh good Karne, what book are you reading? i know how hard it is, with my anxiety it is impossible to read more than half a page. i just don't have the concentration.

Yes, i know my angel, it is so sad that you can't go to your room to have meals. are the other patients being ok to you? i remember you saying last time that some of the male patients where bothering you.

Karen, you are doing really well considering, it must be such a lot to handle, with such high anxiety, take some nice deep breaths, please do the mwith me, breath in.........................................and out...................................in.....................................................out................................................................in...................................................out. please try Karen.

Tonight i am trying to distract with visiting some web sites, reading up about MHU and meds. really anything to distract. listening to a bit of music too.

The anxiety is terrible Karen, and the depression is crippling, i am having the same thoughts as you. i am safe, but it is a real struggle.

Oh wattle creek, what is it about? yes, i know Karen, i am trying to read some computer engineering books, but i have only made it through 4 pages in 4 weeks. i just can't concentrate, it is so frustrating, please keep trying to read it Karen, it iwll help distract you 🙂

yes i thought it might be, i know when i have anxiety my chest gets so tight.

Oh that is great Karen, i am so glad you don't have to worry about men.

I am tired Karen, but i can't sleep, but please if you want to go to sleep feel free. i am just scared of sleeping, because i know i will wake up and i want the time to go slower till my aunt gets here in 6 weeks time.

Are you calming down Karen? remember stay in the present, foot meditation, use your senses. what do you feel, touch and smell Karen?

Oh wow Karen, try to focus on the picture when you feel overwhelmed, focus on the colours and the brush strokes, try to see things in the back ground of the picture.

Gosh Karen, it does not sound nice, i would have thought a private facility could at least have a comfy bed.

that is good Karen, you are using your senses. i am so proud of you working through this anxiety, remember to take deep breaths. have you thought about writing a letter to the girls, something they can take home with them when thye visit next?

I wish Karen, in 6 weeks time is the end of my peace. i know once she moves in she will never leave. i think this is going to be perminant. i can't see how she will get on her feet here, their are few jobs and no rentals. i am just trying to focus on ways to isolate myself from her.

I don't know how, mums family seem to follow me wherever i go.

I am a little tired Karen, i might try for some sleep if that is ok. i hope you manage some rest. and i will be here for you tomorrow.

Sorry my angel, sweet dreams. good night.

Hugs, remember if you can't sleep look out the windows at the stars, i am sure we see the same ones 🙂

Jacques